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Kailey Jones Apr 5
A little attention is all I ask for
Just a smile to be sent my way
I've yearned it for what seems like centuries
This crush I have hasn't gone away

If only you felt the same
And gave me a chance
I'd take down all my walls for you
You'd never again have a cold hand

My best friend tells me to move on
And I'm sure she knows what's best
But the chemistry we share is undeniable
And my thoughts run without rest

And I know that you are straight
You've made yourself explicitly clear
I know I read too much into it
I'm the reason that my heart tears

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning
Because I can't catch my breath
But drowning in my emotions
Sometimes feels the best...

I'm trying to move on
because I know for sure I'M TOO YOUNG
to feel this way for someone
So instead I sit in my own silence around you
And bite down on my tongue
It's so hard having feelings for someone :C XD
Apr 4 · 180
Kailey Jones Apr 4
I've been on Earth for 5150 days
And I've come to the conclusion that
people are sick

We have stolen for only ourselves

We have killed without thinking twice

We have persecuted for thrills

We have taken advantage for satisfaction

We have tortured for revenge

We have blown up because of one man's instruction

We have terminated species for space

We have disrespected for payback

We have decimated for attention

We have walked out to lead a childless life

We have betrayed for fictional assurances

We have destroyed planets for Jordan's and KD's

We have airbourned sicknesses to control the population

It's what we're best at.
No one alive cannot check something off of this list
No matter how good our intentions are in this moment
We have humanized ourselves
I don't want to be humanized
I want to change
These are just some things that we humans have done by our natural, sadistic nature. I'm sorry.
Apr 4 · 193
Kailey Jones Apr 4
Just go talk to him
you'll see what I see
behind all his faux toughness
is a deeper story trying to flee
and while most see masculinity
behind his walls, I observe his insecurity
No one deserves to have to put up an act for anyone!
Kailey Jones Apr 4
"Make me!"
she cries
"Make me feel again!"

I can't help with that at all
Her frail ghost has suffered so much

She has traveled the world and seen any and everybody
Every single grave except her own
For she can not bear it.
But yet she can't feel

There's no happiness
There's no envy
She sees people living and loving
But with a poker face, she stares at me

But my emotions are not gone
And the pain she yearns to feel embodies in me
As if life has been taken from her and now resides in me
But I still feel lifeless
(This isn't about me...
It's about my nameless friend.)

I want to reach out to comfort her
and she doesn't even know she needs it
This **** ghost that finds comfort in my room
Haunts me forever
ironically enough
But I can't reach out to her and I can barely hear her
Her voice is a whisper
Even when she yells
(She should be glad she doesn't have a real throat since she yells so much)

"I know!"
she cries.
"I know you hear me!"

I can't answer that anymore.
I need to tune her out to escape my turmoil.
Nothing here :) Oh I forgot lol. This is going to be a series
Apr 4 · 111
Blunt Honesty
Kailey Jones Apr 4
Blunt honesty
it screams out my name
and synonyms of myself which include words like lame
I don't tune them out because people say it makes us stronger
Hecklers left and right appear though, yet my sadness only lasts longer
I've been diagnosed and yet I welcome blunt honesty with open arms
Because if I don't take it now one day I'll set off alarms
The alarms I destruct because my depression has spewed
And I don't set them off but the reason that I do
is because I meant to destroy them
so that no one could help
I'm reckless and sad but I couldn't bother someone with a yelp
My life is not theirs to care for
I'm my own person
And I'm living to be stronger
So I'll take the blunt honesty
And be sad for much longer
if you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth it stops you from being able to cry.
Apr 4 · 201
Kailey Jones Apr 4
His name is Carter
And he’s all alone
In school
At home
Even on the bus because
no one sits next to him,

(But I’ve made an attempt
To be his friend
But I can’t break free of the honesty
That he is extremely annoying
So I will leave him to himself
Whenever I can)

One day his bag was extra heavy
And I could see it
But I did not ask about it
To not let out the brutal honesty
At the end
That I really did not care
Except my mind went there
Courtesy of the news
And I looked at the shape
Which wasn’t outlined as a rifle
So I looked the other way without paying attention anymore
And when I knew my safety was not compromised
I did not care about why it was so heavy

I stood behind him in line when
His bag bumped against me and
I pushed it out of my face because
What a nuisance!

He turned around looking annoyed
and quite frankly I did not care about his feelings
The rest got carried away. Not real. Based on a real person but not a real story.  Part one.
Apr 3 · 187
When I Stopped Feeling
Kailey Jones Apr 3
I am not in contact with my emotions
they're distant to me and far away
it's been centuries since we've met again
ever since the night I let them be torn away

I found out early that love holds you back
so I cut off all association
And now my faux emotions sparkle
without any questioning

Because everyone only sees my smile
And it's not a cry out for help
But instead, all that I sprout it for
Is to display my independent self

So there's no reason for me to have anyone
Because I couldn't hold commitment.
I can watch from afar easily
As I decimate the shipments
Because my heart yearns to travel to my mind
and I painstakingly won't let it
I did this one to myself and now I am secluded
I found it easy at first but now it only gets harder.
Dec 2019 · 75
Kailey Jones Dec 2019
Where do I go when I die?
And where is a young pet
how will I know if I never
test out this question

Do I need to run until my
Heart gives out while I get chased
By a dog
If we go and stop at the same time
Will we both fall?, Together?
Will we go to the same place?
Then will I know?
Would I have any recollection
Of why I did it at first…
But after all this running, don’t know if it’d  suffice
I might fall from thirst
And give up the device
Of my mind?
If I die, if I’m to fall it’s such a waste
Just to solve a simple question
I’m not sure if it’s worth the risk
If I’m right or wrong
I wish I could float off in space in a bubble of energy and travel twice the speed of light,
and what if that’s better than heaven but definitely better than hell
oh, I wonder what I become when I die
Idk what notes is

— The End —