The dark alley way
Filled with the stench of death
Filled with the stench of blood
The stench of shooting up with needles
Walking through this alley way bouncing around from trash can to trash can
Like i'm playing ping pong with my self
The tattoo on my back burns my very soul every time i think about it
Wait, what was I thinking about again
Whatever;
I pass out next to my cardboard box , 
and collection of needles,
Those are my hobbies,
haunted by the visions of my son,
haunted by the visions of my abused wife
Where are they?
Waking up in this alley way,
Its almost as bad being mentally abused,
by my own mother
my own father
Out side I see my brother
caught by the cops again
But he's no where to be seen,
Love is no where in my brain
Family is no where near the same
My only family are these beer bottles and rats
This drug ******* my soul out like bats
Face down, half way passed out
a light peers down the alley way and it says something to me
Father, is that you

Sometimes I wonder If we could've been
If your squinty smile and long black hair
Could've shunned the demons that always held me back
Maybe if your quirkiness could've made me less of a hack
I don't know I think to myself
You and Me, could've never been
Your perfection was on every level
From your inner
To your outer
From level 1-1
to level 8-4
it seemed like my thoughts were just a locked door
Preventing myself to take the first step
into your world

1,2,3,4,
I count sheep; lying down on this cold pillow.
Staring into darkness
The black abyss staring back laughing
Reflecting my own self conscience.

5,6,7,8
more sheep pass by my eye lids
The wool falling off their bodies
towards the doors that lead in to my sub conscience
Where my mind runs rampant with thoughts
That leave the wool ineffective
That keeps me from entering a safe haven

9,10,11,12
This herd of sheep are wasting their time
I can’t live with out something so sublime
My love, My hate, My depression, My attraction
All pointed towards you
I get up and scream towards the sheep
I’m not your shepherd
I’m not your shepherd
I’m not your shepherd
just leave me be

13,14,16,17
Why couldn’t you stay
You stranded me at bay
I can’t enter the bomb shelter
with out closing my eyes
I can’t close my eyes with out you
I can’t,
I can’t,
I can’t,
I won’t

18, 19,
20 black sheep cross the roof of my eyes
as I sit here on the edge of my bed
This bed is a comparison
a comparison to my sanity
The one that was already fragile
The one you already broke

21…22…23..24…26…27…28….29….30

We all want it
Something so magnificent
So many of the songs on the radio
Waiting to be married to you
Giving people the blues
Making peoples smiles reappear
whenever your near
The rush of dopamine when they catch eyes
Cupid you sly little one

Filling those arrows with a magnificent powder
Shinier than gold
Making people melt into chowder
Finding someone
from which to grow old
Magnificent ain’t it

Cupid agrees
You can’t count
How many times he’s shot those arrows
From young to old
Male or Female
I'm going point out the obvious
Love is inescapable
So stop running you fool
Or else you’ll end up like all the others
In love with love

With the lick of a lollipop, you gain my affection.  Forgetting everything, but the saxophone in the corner, possibly the stares will stay. winter is around the corner or was it spring? I can’t remember, my mind is filled with pop rocks and soda.  Stars burst as you laugh, creating juicy flavours that spill out over the world. Allowing people to laugh and cry.  Jolly ranchers, farming for the last echo of your laughter. I imagine the juicy fruits crying out of joy as they pull them out of the ground and pick them from the vines.  I can’t stop caring I can’t stop enjoying my time staring. Its who I am. I obsess over ones I can’t have.  Its my curse. Black liquorice, filled with the dark liquor. My mind wrapped up, twizzler. I’m attracted to ones that are a shelf above me. I’m a yellow star burst, thrown into a bowl of rejected m&ms; and skittles.
Your candy flavoured lips covered in bright sugar and harden sprinkles.  How many small glances does it take to get to the center of your heart. Stuck in the centre of my tootsie pop,beating on the glass made of pre chewed gum. I can’t see where I’m going. Getting my hands stuck. Replicating what you gave me the first time we met. I filled my empty stomach with sweets. Not so sweet now that I think about it.   40 winks and telephone calls, Small glances and hard gum *****.  My obsession will be the end of me.  From the chosen one to the brunette, to the lesbian. I’m stuck in an endless cycle of headaches and sick stomachs. All this candy wasn’t good for me.

Canes will be here
When your bones get fragile
It holds you up, when your back arches
it will be Abel, to sustain the weight
on your shoulders,
the baggage, from years of old
But be wary, take out the E and put an I
between the a and n
and you got someone who will bash your head in

The place where I go
To escape life's flow
A realm beyond your comprehension.
Oh how I love it so

Where, you never said lets be friends
Where, my father never said see you soon
Where the troubles of life stop; weighing down the branch
The branch where you and I go to laugh
as we dream the dreams of children

Where the air is as sweet as your rosy cheeks
Where the sun is as bright as your big dorky smile
Where my thoughts never perish
And the conceptualising flow spills out of my mouth
Where your hand never left my grasp

But every night, I'm scared
I'm scared to wake up
and Leave this realm
The realm filled with an awe inspiring scent
Where I'll never be worth a cent
The place where I can finally wake up
and Be happy

I’ve run this river dry
You're as beautiful as the sky
Your opinions spew out like water from a fountain
I wish you could be here with me as I climb this mountain
From up and down these endless halls
Your dorkiness could fill up all of these walls
Loud and Obnoxious
Making the whole room nauseous
The sheen from your long black hair
Blocks out the sun, I guess its only fair
Because the sun surpasses your beauty, by a tad
But it doesn’t matter, because you already have a lad
A lad that treats you well
A lad thats shinier than a bell
You’ll end up like everyone else I liked
This mountain i’ve already hiked
You’ll just slip through my hands
Like all of my dreamlands
Its too late
All you are is just bait
Bait that is unreachable

Covered in tick,tacks and apple sauce, forgetting juice boxes and blasting songs, flaming ashes flying up my nose. The smoke envelopes, dreams of a girl with short hair inhales my vision like the ******* on the dash board, or the gas we breath. I'm falling in love, I'm covered by pollen, I'm dying for love, I'm covering pollen. Short breaths and small asthma attacks in the back.  The heat from the front seat leaving me charred. Your smiling face on the pavement as I lay next. I finally understand

I sit here on the Edge of Reality
Lonely, searching the Galaxy
People think I am losing my Sanity
Or my Mentality is something to not be entered

Everything seems bleak and hopeless
and my body is trying to pull my soul from lifelessness
When the world heals; my scars shall not
The world  covered in disdain and “grace”…
The saint like people are ignored by the famous
Cookie cutter everywhere, Originality is nowhere
Where everyone is money hungry
Where everyone is *** hungry
Where everyone is hungry
Two are fueled while the other is left in the dust
I’m not trying to make a fuss maybe some just

Trying to allow people to think, with their own mind
to see what they can find
to open their heart and be kind
With limited time
We are at a bind
How Can we see when we’re blind
So Tell me what you know about dreams
Tell me what you know about feeling something can’t even touch
Tell me what you know about reality something you can’t see
While the bumbles bees bee and the tree throws apples
When the Govern govern and then Reality is ****** into pan
And When people act like you’re Stan
When addiction isn’t a fan and you're
Trying to stop the Cars
But you’re being held back by bars
as the Cars fall off the Edge of Reality
you realize all the duality but its too late
Your head is being ripped off...fatality

Now when the World's Ablaze and you feel Sub-zero
Courage is their doing charades trying to show you their is more
So get up and grab the stars and nothing is stopping you
As more people get up and grab the stars left by you
So Don’t be the bad guy thats make fun of people that die
Be the person who can show the message of truth
Be your own person
The person who is not manipulated by things like the fox
as the Donkey and Elephant duke it out
for the final bout, The person who thinks of something higher than reality
With the People who sit there on the Edge Of Reality

+-

We're stuck in an endless bind; you and I.

"We're stuck in an endless loop", I told her

"As long as I am with you, their is no quarrel" ,she responds

"We're stuck in an endless loop", I told her

I shall never part the warm grasp of your hand", she responds

"We're stuck in an endless loop", I told her

"As long as your eyes, never walk out that door, I shall never deny my place beside you", she responds

We're stuck in an endless loop", I told her
But she was never there to begin with
All I remember was the filth  
That was once her scent
That still has me broke and bent

I'm tired, my mind is withering away
My hands convulse in confusion when I touch the keyboard
I'm not a writer, nor a lover
Just a simple man, with a simple mind
Realizations came about, once I departed
Poetry just wasn't for me and neither were you.

Pump, Pump, Pump!
The director yells at me
As I turn the dial, ever so slowly
Pump, Pump,Pump!
But sir, don't we need to copyright our poems
Of course worker thats why your here
For fame
For glory
For hashtags
For views
For you to gain followers,
like a prophet
For you to gain hearts
Like the aztecs...

Realise why you're on here
Not to gain public affection
Or a minimal amount of fame
Your here to share poems from the heart
Not from your greedy brain

I’m not some intellectual
Nor am I an dunce
I’m just some ****
Who wants to write poetry

Intellectual thoughts and conversations are not my forte.  Instead lets sit down and talk about your day

I have finally been acquainted with the word alone
We met awhile ago, but today he finally knocked on my door
Its as if I’m writing a musical piece, and he’s messing up the tone
He’s ripping me apart , Caution intense blood and gore

I guess I need to go to the bottle again, to cure the pain
Trying not to puke up, the only happiness I saved
I’m just walking across the track, waiting for the train
Getting ready to jump out the window, feeling the need to get paved

I think I just need to settle down
The meaning of happiness drowned in its own *****
I’m forcing a rusty crowbar to get rid of this frown
The rusty needles, are whispering come on try it

So it sit here, alone
Trying to grab the phone

"Love me better", she says
"It takes time", I say

Living this mundane life
On a quest for a wife
Its something I strive for
To walk across the beach
Holding her hand
Ever so gently
and as I watch the sunset
I look to my side and see your smiling face
I wish you could take me to that place

Thats what I want
But thats not what you want
You want someone to love you better
Someone to listen more
Someone to listen for
You want someone to love you better?
But I can only love you the way I know how

So I finally understand why you walked out of that door
Why you stopped talking
Why you stopped walking
Why you stopped holding
and as my hand drifted away from a place called home
It searched over yonder
Another place of warmth
So as it slipped into the slit in my pants
and my back hunched over
With the thoughts of you weighing me down
Making me lose my seal
which used to hold me together
My mind runs rampant
and I wish...
I wish...
I wish I could've loved you better

Thats all you are,
From your hair to your hips
It makes me want to do flips

These demons make me not care
These demons make me...
want to tear your clothes apart
Something about your smile
Something about your legs
Its like your stacking pegs
Getting no where
because caring is something
that isn't their


I love the way you look at me when were done
I love the way your body looks when your on top
I love the way you look
I love the way
I love the
I love
No!
I lust

I find your soul within my hands,
My power is to great
My people love me
These coins are as bright as the sun
Everything I touch, brings me riches
But everything I touch I lose happiness

You bring me riches
Your eyes are as bright as diamonds
While your hair is as slick as silver

I find your soul within my hands
I wish I could feel your warmth
I wish I could hold your hand
With you, I wish I can grow old
But every time we touch
you turn into gold

Endless commodification of feelings
Ads, media, envy, peeling and tearing

Lives and deaths, nothing truly genuine
No escape not even if I put a pen on it
There is nothing, absolutely nothing

Not a word or people talking
Not a soul

Not a soul

Not a soul found in our new zeitgeist!
No new soul to protect us in our new life!

You're never lonely, during the day
You always forget the being
The one being behind you

The being that will be their from your birth to your death
The being the admires you so much that it stays connected to you
It walks
It dresses
It talks
Like you

It accepts your flaws and doesn't judge you
It'll never hurt you or stab your back
and when you die
it will die

Because with out you
Their is no reason for it to live anymore

So you're never alone, because you have you.

My body ready to give up
as I sit here on this wooden desk
listening to a cliche teacher
quoting Shakespeare
I agree that he's great
But my body continues to slowly shut down
and the doors that lead into my eyes
begin to close
My mind drifts off, not caring

And now that its over
i'll never be sober
your lips
make me drunk
just like your hips
make me feel like a hunk

the liquor flowing through both our veins
making it forget all our pain
stabbing ourselves like hidan
i'll never forget being cheated on

So I sit here,
not alone
I have her,
the bottle that
won't let me stay sober

Collecting thoughts, imagination as vivid as the colours of a sunset.
The endless saturday, the drinking, the endless sun.
As the sun beats down on your face, and they reveal more and more skin
You look around and lovers are everywhere
None of them care
The day is to bright and the future is endless
Colours blazing brighter than the sun
All the girls, don’t want a son
But you can care less, the sun is endless and so is your life,
Every time the sun is up, you find the fountain of youth again.
Turning you from 18 to 7
Caring is not your middle name
The world is your toy
So skate around the board walk listening to 3005
Searching for a new potential lover
new goal
You don’t look for cover,
like a mole
Cause you are reincarnated
You remember that school is today
but why go on such a beautiful day
the future is now
whats the point of sitting around like a cow
The ocean as blue as the sky
where your dreams are shelled
in a bright yellow sphere
and as the sun goes down after the day
Now son don’t be in such a dismay
Forecast says, you’ll be young forever

Now I understand
The sand crawling through our toes
with this land of grain and wonder
and the endless aquatic temple thats
too deep to enter
The smoke blurs my vision
It dresses my eyes with your beauty
Land of craziness
Land of wind and sails
The Palm trees waving around
The Palms of our hands never letting go
I’m not in love with you
I’m in love with the feeling
I’m in love with the atmosphere
The way you dress my eyes
We just met, but my mind stomps around with ideas
Ideas of beaches, love, hands,
everything that shows happiness and fondness
Driving down beverly hills with the sun setting
in the background of an awe inspiring painting
Lips, skin, life, death,
2 weeks of happiness
before I go
The sun can set as long as we can stay here
The sun can go anywhere it wants, I will find you again
So the sun can finally, get up from its hibernation
and be back in the sky.

Teenagers, thats all we are,
we strive for happiness
striving for something beyond our own comprehension
Working day and night for our due pension
We want to grow up but were so young
On the quest for love, yet we procrastinate till tomorrow
to find it
Make it our own
Were stuck in our own world, never letting anyone else in
Thinking school is a waste of time
and partying all your time away
Thats all we are
Striving to be the best we can be to not disappoint
Searching the world for something to call our own
Learning and discovering
Finding our  identity is our goal
Finding love is our life
Our minds are a rhythmic mess
Our neurons blasting every time we touch
Cause thats all we are
The stress we make up on our own
The electronic Buddhism we blast through our crown
Flying from mindset to mindset
Destructive monster one second
Average Human the next  
and in the end
It doesn't matter
So long as I'm still a teenager
I have my whole life ahead of me

You were amazing
I could feel your thoughts flow through my very body
Every time you spoke
Every time I caught a glimpse
Thats all I could catch
My net was to big
I was fishing for something beyond my grasp
I knew
My body knew;
because every time I want to talk
My body freezes in place,
not allowing me to walk
I was like a middle school girl around you
Except I was 16
Your Black hair
Your Opinions
Your Big dorky smile
I couldn't take it
It made me want to be around you
But it pushed me away
All of these cliches in this poem makes it lacklustre
I know
But I'm just spewing out the thoughts
that come out angrily
every time I open the book
and see your face
With the green light  next to you
Telling me to go
But i'm not mobile
So I just sigh as I close the book
Realising that your intelligence and hilarity will never be near me
Ever again

The idea
The idea that we can be together
The idea that I can hold your hand
as we watch the sun set and rise
The idea of driving at night together
Rushing pass the lights that illuminates both of our personalities
The idea of being with you is something
That tortures my body and mind
It interferes with my own reality
Creating my vision, less and less applicable
and as I take off these clouded glasses
I can finally see
I'm not in love with you
I'm in love with the Idea of you

Its a tricky word to say
Trying to force it out of my mouth is like swimming in a lava bay
Impossible
Not available

No, no its to soon
Or is it to late?
Every night i'm with you
gazing at the moon
Every night we make love,
Our souls, await
For a time
For a place


Looking into your soul
Is like staring into my own
from dusk till dawn
from day till night
I have to to say this word that strangles my windpipes
But which L-word do you want me to mutter?
Large?
Language?
Luck?
I got it!

I'm in lesbians with you

This is the place intro
The place you’ll always remember. The place that forever changes you.  Good or Bad it changed you and you have to push through it or stroll with it. But Good or Bad your still here

This is the Place that brought the shadows
The desolate table filled with shadowy beings
I lay down filled with loneliness
As I devour the horrible substance
I think about the happiness I had in my old school
The laughs, the jokes, the friends.
I end up here at this table with
Inconsiderate people that I lied to myself to believe
that they were friends
Friends that were rejects
Friends that didn’t care
Friends that wouldn’t care
I acted liked I enjoyed the time their
though truly this disgusting , horrific table was never home
I went and did acts that weren’t wholesome
This table changed me.
A dark time in my life
So I got up and left this round dark blue seat
With these people that wouldn’t give a literal **** about me
I left from loneliness to loneliness
The Darkness never changed until
I saw a new table, a table that embraced me and
This led to a new table
It led me to a table that changed me for the good
A table that wouldn’t reject me
That wasn’t the place
This is the place

As you sit their with your white skin
blowing bubble gums
becoming one with your phone
as you research the latest drama
blasting music from the latest artist
I wonder is that all you are?
Is your beauty just the make up and attitude towards life
Now trust what I say you're gorgeous
But as you stroke your pants and you stare at me with those blank eyes
Touching your cheeks to make sure you aren't "fat"
Wearing clothes to show off your "personality"
Something about how you look
Attracts me to you
and as you nibble your finger nail
and give me a small side glance
as you quickly turn away
and imagine days on the beach
I look at you and imagine the same thing
To bad our personalities
are to distinct
To finally become one

Tokyo
By Anthony Caceres

Flashing lights, Flashing people
Blurs of the past come to haunt
Blurs of the present come to taunt
Blurs of the future come to flaunt
Sitting here by the bus stop
Watching people fly by like the airplanes above
Everybody set their bodies to fast forward
While I’m rewinding as slow as I can
Reading the latest manga as I get ****** into the lights
Like some late night ramen
I feel like I can walk on air
A skywalker
I can’t escape the death walkers
I know
But I can slow them down, to a point
With a late night text
and the horns of rampaging cars
Busses and Bikes
Awkward mannerisms
and long hikes
Tokyo is far away
But as long as your still here with me
Tokyo will forever stay

Vaya Con Dios, she said as she walked off, into the foggy abyss.
I return to my position on the stage and pick up my saxophone
Everyone in shock and awe at the argument that just took place.
A mother crying out in fear
A body laying on the floor; lifeless
Whats worst than losing a son.
My mind in the skies
I cry into my saxophone
As its slowly drowned out by the sirens
I think to myself, don’t worry my darling; I will be with him shortly
I pull out my gun at the end of my solo. The gun that the second I bought, it was predestined
“Don’t worry my darling”

By Anthony Caceres
Produced By Mariol Struga

The Biggest answer to the biggest question
Why?
Why not?

Am I worthy
To rewind time and fall back
to the time
where I was worthy

As I continue to turn back the sands of time
Trying to figure out how you can be so sublime
So amazing that it makes all the bells chime
After what i’ve done
I’m not of your praise
After what i’ve done
I should be considered a crime

Sometimes I look into the mirror
And I wonder am I ready to die
am I ready to drown, in my egotistical realm
I ignored
I blamed
I tortured
And after all the arguments
and I turn back the sands of time
and fall back
back down into the depths of your hades
where instead of your love
I’m left with regret
Regret as horrendous as ******
a cold blooded ******
a cold hearted ******
a cold life
a cold death
and as the blood drips off my clenched fist
and onto the stained wall that will forever remind me

What if I change my name
Change my appearance
Change my life
Everyone says i’m worthy
But I’m not worthy
unless I have you
and your forgiveness