smoking a bag full of memories
over the flame of your past
you get high on a girl
you no longer love
but can’t stop thinking about
and there’s nothing you can do
to change the way it went down,
only imagine what could’ve been
if you’d done things a bit differently
which somehow hurts more yet makes
you chuckle on the inside
and now’s she’s out there
with other people,
in other places,
doing other things
that don’t involve you
while you sulk in the corner
with the useless bottle,
the useless tears
and the useless fantasies
that you’ve never lived in.
I say relax kid,
if you look back on the entirety of yourself,
you’ve made it through drug overdoses,
car crashes, untruthful rumors, utter loneliness,
suicide attempts and the impeccable timing of bad luck
I’m fairly certain you’ll make it through this too,
it’s only heartbreak.

I once felt like an utensil in your hand,
A tool for your glory, your selfish demand.
You spoke of love, but I felt the strain,
Like I was nothing more than a means to your gain.

At fifty-two, you said I was your first,
A love so deep, you claimed, a thirst.
But your words were empty, and your heart was cold,
Leaving me to wonder what you’d truly sold.

You used my kindness, my love, my soul,
A narcissist's game, I played the role.
But you, wrapped in your fragile pride,
Never saw the damage you left behind.

I'm not here to hate, not here to blame,
But your illness doesn’t give you the right to play the game.
Love should be mutual, not one-sided and torn,
Not leaving a heart bruised and worn.

But now, I stand, not broken, but whole,
Rising from the ashes, reclaiming my soul.
I gave my all, but now I see,
It’s time to let go, and set myself free.

Hope isn’t lost, it’s found in the fight,
In knowing my worth, in finding my light.
I am not a tool, I am not a pawn,
I am the storm, the calm, the dawn.

To those like me, who’ve been torn apart,
You are not less for giving your heart.
It’s time to heal, it’s time to grow,
To leave behind what we no longer know.

Grace will come, like a gentle stream,
As you rise from the ashes of broken dreams.
You are worthy of love, of joy, of peace,
A love that’s real, where hurt can cease.

So hold your head high, and walk with grace,
You are more than enough in this vast, wide space.
No longer a piece of someone else’s game,
You are whole, and you'll rise again.

With some packing the bags
Others folding the tent
My best guess is
It just wasn’t meant

Loud and proud crowds
At what just occurred
Leaves behind little doubt
A nation undeterred

As the spotlight grows dim
On these demented clowns
Glad to be rid of them
When this circus leaves town

Woke in their wake
Not a one taking blame
In the pointing of fingers
Every which way

It’s hard to balance the high wire
When you’re this blind to the truth
With nary a soul
Daring to support you

As they roll the last credits
With the sun going down
We no longer need to fret it
When this circus leaves town

A piece of me, I left behind,
A fragment fading from my mind.
I shed the mask, dissolved the name,
In losing self, I found the flame.

The weight I carried, now set free,
A shadow dies, so I can be.

in quiet rooms where shadows hide,
celia whispers, soft inside.
a secret kept, a dream unspoken,
a song of strings, unbroken.

she waits in corners, dark and deep,
where memories fade, and shadows sleep.
eyes of silence, heart of mist,
tracing what’s been missed.