The sky is dark
An impenetrable black
Ominous and true
And I am losing track
There is no real telling
I cannot comprehend
Oh where it does begin
Or when it may end
But as I look to nothingness
And see no touch of lighter
When it seems so dim
Do not the stars grow brighter?
                                       tsk

Oh are you better
You think you stand so tall
A head so big and growing
And yet a heart so small.
The shaking of your fingers
And pulling of those strings
The sneering at your equals
And lying of said things.
You thought yourself higher
The entire way done through
Yet now you have gone on
And you're 6 feet under too.
                          tsk

A crinkle of newspaper
The simple sideways glance
And a half hidden grin.
A shyness that stops
And a hope that intrudes
The next stop is mine
But you're here to stay
What a question I'll ask
What if everything
All I wanted
Was simply waiting
One seat over.

You were the needle
Stitching me together
I was the hay
So brittle, so fragile
And when you left
You left that needle
Hidden within me
A part I could not find
Nor could I remove
And just so I could
Remove from me
That small part of you
I burned that hay stack
To the ground.

of trying to forgive anymore

i just don't think it's worth it anymore
i'm sorry,
love wasn't enough this time
and everything that i thought about love
has been ruined

i remember telling you that you were worth being destroyed over
but no,
i let you completely **** me up and i regret it all
i was sad through it all
i wanted to leave through it all

but i felt so worthless without you
but i want to take a stand,
i am so much better than your 2am "hi, work was good, go back to sleep, goodbye."
better than your **** toy - you haven't made me ***, you never knew how to make love to me anyways, i realized how much of a scumbag you were because of the way you ****** pathetic little me
and i ******* hate the way i've become some little begging ***** in bed for you to **** me, i think all this time i've been begging you to love me better
better than your excuse to travel,
better than your excuse to hang out with your best friends who love each other more than they love you anymore,
better than everything you've used me for

i'm so tired of being the convenient one for you
instead of the one you want to be with

i think i'm ready to be selfish
i think forever was *******
and i've always known that from the first time you told me you wanted to marry me, and confirmed my thoughts every time you urgently denied that we lived together

our server the day that i decided to leave you had said, "your man is bored" as you pushed food around on your plate as i tried to listen to some ******* ******* story you had about you whining at work
and i couldnt help but agree and think that i was over this ******* ******* too

Up a lot in my life
This week
Because my mind
cannot handle
being alone
even when it's not
and now ive pushed
everything away
and maybe
if I keep pressing
enter
on this ******* keyboard
maybe this will look like a poem
Maybe I will feel like a human
Maybe I wont cry every night
just because
That's all that feels
okay.
But I'm not okay
I am alone
and I am alone
and I am alone.