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A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
Turn this misery of yours
Into a beautiful piece of art
Until all the painted pain obscures
The last pieces of your heart  
Always tell them you want more
Become that ugly sewer rat
**** yourself at twenty four
And be remembered just for that
A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
I try in my mind
To truly define
What it is that you think when you see me

Do you cower with fear
When I come near
Or just tag me with brutal indifference

Could there be something there?
Or should I not care
What the choice of your words mean to me

Is there something wrong
With my desperate old song
Or am I just chasing that old wild goose once again

Well get some insight
On my messed up cruel mind
And fill in the jokers you've sent me...
Wanted to get this out.
A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
Let the time pass
Without any bitter words
the softest laugh is yours
By the glow of moonlight
With your face close to mine

The confused tears come  
Yet those passing hours
Leave not a mark
I suppose we are all nailed to misery
In our own little way
A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
I've seen a lot of rain around
lots of thoughts and pain around
But cannot hear the sound around
Of heartbeats on the dusty ground

Lovingly made but never found
And Like you nothing too profound
But still true enough to form around
To have a crowded crowd around

Still with only you around
A dead wax doll thrown on the ground
Tears and that old haunting sound
Of rain that falls from all around
A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
Through your backyard smile
I can see a gaping hole
The flaw in the plan
The strange midnight chimes
Bringing out in me
the old November knives
A C Leuavacant Oct 2014
I have always thought of you
As something traveling
Never swaying like others
Or finding solace in coarse night lit dwellings
I respect that in you
But I will find it hard to tilt my head and whisper you farewell
Because that day is inevitable

And years on
me, dead tired
in a place far away
I'll think of you
One day learning
Next at your prime
You'll go far, old friend
But remember to stop and think of me sometimes
And who we together
once were
  Oct 2014 A C Leuavacant
Philip Larkin
Once I am sure there's nothing going on
I step inside, letting the door thud shut.
Another church: matting, seats, and stone,
And little books; sprawlings of flowers, cut
For Sunday, brownish now; some brass and stuff
Up at the holy end; the small neat *****;
And a tense, musty, unignorable silence,
Brewed God knows how long. Hatless, I take off
My cycle-clips in awkward reverence,

Move forward, run my hand around the font.
From where I stand, the roof looks almost new-
Cleaned or restored? Someone would know: I don't.
Mounting the lectern, I peruse a few
Hectoring large-scale verses, and pronounce
'Here endeth' much more loudly than I'd meant.
The echoes snigger briefly. Back at the door
I sign the book, donate an Irish sixpence,
Reflect the place was not worth stopping for.

Yet stop I did: in fact I often do,
And always end much at a loss like this,
Wondering what to look for; wondering, too,
When churches fall completely out of use
What we shall turn them into, if we shall keep
A few cathedrals chronically on show,
Their parchment, plate, and pyx in locked cases,
And let the rest rent-free to rain and sheep.
Shall we avoid them as unlucky places?

Or, after dark, will dubious women come
To make their children touch a particular stone;
Pick simples for a cancer; or on some
Advised night see walking a dead one?
Power of some sort or other will go on
In games, in riddles, seemingly at random;
But superstition, like belief, must die,
And what remains when disbelief has gone?
Grass, weedy pavement, brambles, buttress, sky,

A shape less recognizable each week,
A purpose more obscure. I wonder who
Will be the last, the very last, to seek
This place for what it was; one of the crew
That tap and jot and know what rood-lofts were?
Some ruin-bibber, randy for antique,
Or Christmas-addict, counting on a whiff
Of gown-and-bands and *****-pipes and myrrh?
Or will he be my representative,

Bored, uninformed, knowing the ghostly silt
Dispersed, yet tending to this cross of ground
Through suburb scrub because it held unspilt
So long and equably what since is found
Only in separation - marriage, and birth,
And death, and thoughts of these - for whom was built
This special shell? For, though I've no idea
What this accoutred frowsty barn is worth,
It pleases me to stand in silence here;

A serious house on serious earth it is,
In whose blent air all our compulsions meet,
Are recognised, and robed as destinies.
And that much never can be obsolete,
Since someone will forever be surprising
A hunger in himself to be more serious,
And gravitating with it to this ground,
Which, he once heard, was proper to grow wise in,
If only that so many dead lie round.
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