Hi guys I see I have lots of inboxes just give me a little bit to respond to you guys I’ve been super busy lately xo ps you guys are lovely

Speechless cannot hold
The emotion
I feel essential to express

                                                   My


                   Sensitive



                                                 Eccentric



                      &




                                        Endeared


Cancer man.

                                    You
                              Cannot
                            Even
                        Fathom
                      The
                    Restraint
                  It
                Takes
              To
            Stay
          Speechless

I will not live my life,
Stalking the the perimeter of my cage
To every other being such as me
This seems like a reasonable fate
For you are kept from the terrors and disease ridden world
And fed twice a day

I was meant to starve sometimes,
So that I am thankful everytime
I catch my prey
I want to travel for miles
And watch the sunset from a different mountain top every day.

I want my roar to echo in the deepest valleys, only to be answered by absolute silence. Instead of being observed as an act of violence.
I cannot continue my life this way, as your placid royal highness
When you get down to the core of my being,
I am after all- a wild tigress.

cast out to sea,
caught on a rock
with waves crashing around me.
we used to sail,
we used to rise
we used to float on waters, endless
ebb and flow with the tide.
but as the storm approaches,
my thoughts grow weary
the compass points in all directions
we both jump ship in fear of steering.
I'm stranded, wet and cold
in a storm of sadness, confusion, anger
it has come the time, for us to decide
are we a lifeboat or an anchor?

Sage & sweet grass

Hand made quilt

Steeped Chai

Dozing sighs

Cool breeze

Life at ease

I remember you well,

                             in the Chelsea Hotel


               you were talkin'


                                    so brave & so sweet.


     Giving me head,


                       on the unmade bed


   While the limousines wait in the streets.

It feels like it's time to wrap myself in cotton sheets, drink tea with my grandmother and walk with red & yellow leaves beneath my feet.
Where did the summer skies go?

I can't think of the correct words to describe
Exactly what you are to me
I can't begin to explain

The surprise

That I fell so smoothly into your
Honey stare

I pulled myself out of the cool blue water
In pursuit of your amber gaze

Once again,
as I retread over
the fragments of your
literary beauty.

You write in the most potent essence of
our connection embodied.

I am so ever ensnared by the rhythm
that your words play on my heart strings.

Especially, now
In this time where I am so desperately in need;
of just
a small dose of affection

trace your fingers on my lips gently
for if you play my pulse
like you do that guitar

my soul will sing to yours
through my heart beats

I can feel him pulsing
from deep inside me, all down & up underneath

but, when I'm on top
I have my fun,
I grab his wrists,
kiss his neck just a little bit
his eyes roll back
breaks free of my grip, running down my ***
till he finds the sweet spot
& rubs me nice

mm.
now this is how I like it
he takes control
I lose my mind
lose my body
in our souls
intertwined.

                      I


                                               gasp


           & moan




                        baby, please don't stop,oh



his head
                           tips
                  back

                                                     his jaw goes
                                                                         slack


and

                         we both

                                              ******


                                                                as one.

                                                                                  xo

my head spins, and I forget
nausea creeps in
before each sunset.

children age, and pictures grow old
speaking of stories
repeated, told.

empty heart, empty stomach
gasping void nocturne.

the past imprinted on my mind
like old lighter burns.

pain, joy and memories unfold
who I used to be seemed so simple
before my heart turned cold.

I search
                                      for the words

                                                          ­                     I
wrote on my hips;

                                              but
                                                                ­              not another word,

                  left my frozen lips.

                                                          ­                      There is no way to
                                                                ­      springtime,

        the winter,
                   takes her tole.

                                                               ­       I bury myself away,
                                                         in this 3 pillow,
                                           double bedded hole.

Darling, but I keep myself sane.
               I dream of flowers in my hair & the warmth in your name.
    Early July conversations,
                        tapping strings, how we'd softly sing
                                           & were guided to one another's lips
      at the very touch of our finger tips.
                               I always thought I was better than this,
                                                                                                 but
                                                             ­            Love,
                                                                ­              
                                     Your heart is one I often miss.

Hand shaky, balancing the easel
Paint brush tight within grip
I've never seen a rainbow
Come and go so quick

It seems as if the rain clouds
Parted only for a moment today
Grey desolates,
but fear not, the colours will make their way

Shoes paint the streets with difference
Among all crowds, the brush flicks
But drop your tools & raise your arms to the sky
For you must paint the wind with your fingertips.

empty

nothingness

numbness

I have

succumb to

what I've learned

from early on.

Numb yourself

when the hurt

is too strong.

Numb yourself

when you

feel like

you can no

longer go on.

Numb yourself

so you can

pretend you're

strong.

Numb yourself

so you can

last, just another day

Numb yourself

so you don't

have to die

today.

It took me months to realize, that sometimes
I wish she hadn't died.
I held her head as life slipped from her eyes
as her heart fluttered its last bumping butterflies.

She really was my only family
Now I sit alone,
in this big wooden house
just as it is
hollow & empty.

I just can't seem to think clearly anymore

My

             Thoughts



Aren't
     Aligned


                              In


               Any      Way

I just need the loving touch of an angel
To bring me back to sanity

                           Sweet and gentle man

I ask you

                      Gently and carefully




Let me bathe in


                                    Your aura


         Of hazy night, and deep raspberry perfume

I'm so sorry
For causing you the worry and pain
I love you
I'm really trying
I was so good
I will be again
You will not have to bury your child daddy

To address all of the feedback I've been receiving in regards to the way I write or express myself I want to make some things clear.
#1.  I want to share my utter graciousness and love to all of those who support me on this website. I never thought my poetry could touch the lives of so many and have this sort of effect. I really do, truly thank all of you who have spent your time posting lovely comments or even liking some of my poems. You guys are the best! You are the reason I keep writing and feeling proud for all that I do. Thank you so so so so much for all of your love and appreciation. I can't tell you guys enough.
#2. In regards to me "seeking attention" or "getting recognition" from other people. In some way, I suppose you're right. I do want recognition for the work I produce in terms of my poetry. I want people to read what I write and share their opinions on it because I enjoy simple literature, reading and writing in general. I am not writing to having people say "poor you, you must have it so hard" I could honestly give not a single **** about any of that. I appreciate your concerns but I have friends and family who love me that I turn to when I'm in need of real support- and I write to simply get the residue of whatever bad feelings are left off my mind. I appreciate the heart-warming, extremely loving comments that I've received from many of you and they really do mean a lot to me and make me feel like I'm worth it. This is not addressed to you. This is addressed to the people who believe I'm trying to get attention by putting my work out there, this isn't what poetry is about- so stop projecting your own ideas and thoughts onto me. You will be blocked and unfollowed- I don't have patience or time for this ignorance and stupidity. I write from how I feel in a specific moment, whether that be happy, sad, depressed, loved, uneasy, numb, crazy- these are all parts of who I am, everyone can relate to all of these feelings- I just choose to express them more intensely or publicly than some. Some choose to post them on Facebook, or Instagram or church or to their friends- so please don't patronize me for simply expressing how I feel at a certain time. Poetry is meant to be shared and loved and constructively criticized, poetry is from the heart and soul of those who can't seem to express it any other way.
#3. Any comments regarding religion or spirituality in general I would rather address personally through a direct message- I was raised Roman Catholic- baptized, confirmed all that jazz. I also had the luxury of having a Buddhist grandmother and from both of those experiences in each religion I personally related to the Buddhism concept a lot better than the Catholic/Christian one. I believe there is a higher power (to some perhaps it can be seen as what you define as "God" or "Jesus") but to me I feel like it is so great that none of us can put to words or even fathom exactly what it is. Heaven and Hell both exist on Earth to me, I've seen glimmers of both. And I personally believe that when we move into the next world after our time on this earth has ended (death) that we are thrown into complete knowledge, complete understanding of the meaning of life and all that surrounds us. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually in the grand eternal scheme of things. With that, it is no ones place to try and change anyones point of view or beliefs in any aspect- I believe what I believe and if there is an all forgiving God, he would surely understand that.

So thank you to those who have kindness towards me on this site, and to those who don't? Find another poet to follow because I am clearly not your cup of tea.

Peace, love, hope & compassion

xox natasha

Dear Sir,

I want you to fill me up
With all that hot sticky ***
And let me push it all out
so you can watch
when youre all done

I love our bodies connecting as one
and especially the feeling of that skillful tongue.
youre curvature fits me so perfect
That all pain from the inches that barely fit is so worth it

And the butterflies create
their rhythmic
flying circuit in my belly
when you use your fingers on
me like that old tele

you give me a rush with every touch
and flood me down below
caught in the palm of your hand

baby,
I wouldnt want anywhere else to go

So do it--decide.

Is this the life
you want to live?
Is this the person
you want to love?
Is this the best you can be?
Can you be stronger?
Kinder? More compassionate?
Decide.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
and decide.

You're a beautiful mess

Struggling with yourself

My dear,

Don't fret.

For we are all,

In one way

A wreck.

The very presence of your skin, sets mine ablaze
Kiss me down, down, down
And hold my gaze

The very presence of your skin, sets mine ablaze
Kiss me down, down, down
And hold my gaze

Looking up at me
It's more than I can handle
Show me what its like
To be tasted by an angel

Oh baby,
How your
Tongue
Lips
Whisper
Kiss
Light me on fire

apart from me
a part of me
you lay-
somewhere in between.
floating oh so
carefully, in
a neutral, languid
purgatory.

as you speak, your
words float past,
here today
and gone so fast.
tell me, dear
which conversation
will be our last?

not that I care,
I simply don't
have the energy to.
besides,
it doesn't mean
that much to me
to mean that
much to you.

though down
the rabbit hole
I go
and the other side
breaking through.
for Alice doesn't
concern herself
over the
attention she
garners from
a mere shrew.

Through and through,
you write from the small
woven cavities in your chest
well, only those you
allow to be expressed
and if you weren't
a million miles away dear?
I'd put you back
together so fine
you never need shed a tear

As good as my heart is
which is covered
most now in black
I haven't a clue where
I'm supposed to live
so on matters of home
its hard to go back.

Go,
go where your heart pulls you
listen & love the earths warm sighs
exploring the globe from every side
happiness, freedom, calm
you'll find,
dear just keep me on your mind
for life works its way
in time

Early morning wake to
the pale yellow sun streaming
gently through the broken blinds.

Rolling over onto the warmth
of another body
I can still say is mine.

Olive skin, speckled with scars
and freckles- perfect imperfections
all but your double-sugar dark roast eyes.

Time lingers as you watch me
wake, semi-concious smiles
of the brand new day.

Goodmorning beautiful, I love you

I couldn't tell you
a better thing to say.