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Aug 17 · 234
Too Much
Kalliope Aug 17
Too much talking
Too much noise
Too much kissing
Too much touching
Too much laughing
Too much crying
Too much fighting
Too much typing
Too much calling
Too much singing
You were never too much for me
This silence is though
Aug 17 · 192
Chai Latte
Kalliope Aug 17
I poured out my heart
But your cup was gone
Now I'm left all over the floor
I'm always too late
Aug 17 · 146
327 Characters
Kalliope Aug 17
I'm restless
I'm aching
I want you to text me

I'm texting
I'm pacing
I want you to text me

I'm staring
I'm crying
I want you to text me

I'm shaking
I'm numb
You're not gonna text me
Yet I keep texting you
Aug 17 · 147
Grip
Kalliope Aug 17
Did you bleed because you ache for me
Or because I wouldn't let go?
I'd be holding on still if my nails didn't break
Aug 16 · 100
Honeybun
Kalliope Aug 16
His love was,
Soft like the rain on a foggy morning,
Mesmerizing like a summertime sunrise,
Calming like a cool breeze through the autumn trees,
Safe like your favorite blanket after a scary movie,
Warm like holding your favorite mug full of tea in your hands,
And it was mine,
Until it wasn't.
And the absence of it has left a crater I don't know how to fill
Aug 15 · 340
Breakdown
Kalliope Aug 15
The feelings I feel are so confusing to me
No matter what I do I can't make them leave
They hit me and yell and scratch till I bleed
Always around, bringing me to my knees
I feel them in my skin, they buzz in my brain
Mentally I'm in the street laid out in the rain
They rip out my nails and tap dents in my collar bones,
Force me back to my room where I just lay all alone,
Darken my eyes, drain the color from my face
The creature now in the mirror I look at with disgrace
And I can't make it stop
And I don't know that I want too
A feeling is a feeling
I should be grateful to feel at all
Aug 14 · 172
Rot
Kalliope Aug 14
Rot
There's an ache in my chest
That travels through my bones
I can't get any rest
I feel so alone

I feel like I could split open
Even bleed out on the floor
Would my eyes finally close then
Not feeling this pain anymore

I know it'll go away
I've felt this before
But it brings me so much shame
When I can't get off of the floor
I'll feel nothing next week
Until the cycle repeats
Aug 13 · 225
Twisted Neck
Kalliope Aug 13
And still I look back
On the bad days
The ones with the fights
And the yelling
Cant forget the tears

And still I look back
On the good days
The ones with the love
And the affection
Can't forget the feeling

And still I look back
Before I met you
And my heart wasn't broken
Can't forget how you changed me

And still I look back
But do you?
Do you think a brace would force me to live in the present?
Aug 12 · 114
Surface Level
Kalliope Aug 12
Everything's on the surface
Any deeper I start getting nervous
But your voice is so calming,
Your vulnerability enthralling

NO, I can't let you know me
I can't let you see
I can't let you find out
I'm 95% self doubt

My favorite color is green
At times I can be mean
I still watch Disney movies
-why does it feel like you're looking right through me?

And I'll preach I'm an open book
Lay it out, have a look
But the more you flip my pages
And start to see where the rage is-

The book will be snatched
The relationship crashed
You'll wonder why,
You might even cry

It's nothing to mourn
Don't be forlorn
Let's not get disheveled
Baby I'm just surface level
I can't believe you got past chapter two
Aug 12 · 463
Hypoxemia
Kalliope Aug 12
Is it better to have what you want
Or what you need?
This question bothers me every night
Why can't what I need be what I want,
And why can't I want what I need?

Now that I want you
I don't really need you
I need the air that I breathe
But I didn't want it
Until I had you

So maybe I need you after all
And the mind goes round and round and back and forth
Aug 3 · 264
Apparition
Kalliope Aug 3
I just want someone to look at me
To see me,
For all that I am
Look AT me-
Not through me
And past where I stand

I just want someone to know me,
To feel me,
To want who I am

And for a second,
Quite briefly,
I think our eyes met
And that scared me so bad
I immediately left
I crave quiet understanding
But the chaos is too loud
Once I was finally seen
The fear took all my sound
Aug 3 · 154
Trimming
Kalliope Aug 3
A rose without thorns
Would not be a rose
But I tried to trim mine
Before you left me to wilt
Watering myself down
Drowned us
Aug 2 · 176
Untitled
Kalliope Aug 2
A green light
On a cold phone
Is the only way
I'll ever feel your presence
I'll never feel your arms wrapped around me
Jul 29 · 229
Lighter Fluid
Kalliope Jul 29
When the spark is gone
And just a candle burns
I can't promise I'll be around

See the wax it melts,
So painfully slow
But the sparkler,
Knows how to put on a show

The wax could warm me,
And make me feel whole,
Scented with safety and patience

But the fireworks?
They make my heart race,
And for a second it's my only focus

And I know what they'll say
You can relight a candle,
A sparkler's a one time thing

But that won't stop me,
From fighting for the spark
Even if it keeps me on my knees
All good things come to an end
So they say
Or do I end all good things?
Jul 28 · 212
Morning Haze
Kalliope Jul 28
And I'll think of you
In the morning blue
While sipping my tea
Wishing we could be
The first glimpse of the sunrise over the trees is what you felt like to my heart
Jul 28 · 280
Myocardial Strands
Kalliope Jul 28
I wore my heart on my sleeve
For way too many years
And now she is tattered and torn

I still ball up the shreds
And hand them to men
In hopes she won't come back worse
Loving love is a curse
Jul 28 · 241
Temperature Changes
Kalliope Jul 28
I want you to love me
In only my way
Your words sound so sweet
But just do as I say

I'm begging you to hold me
Keep up the persistence
I crave your comfort
But remain at a distance
Why am I like this?
Jul 28 · 163
Spotify Daylist
Kalliope Jul 28
And sometimes
When I place my earbuds in
I don't hit play right away
I hesitate
Because in the silence
If I close my eyes
I swear I hear your laughter
There's comfort in missing you
Jul 27 · 263
Raft
Kalliope Jul 27
If my mind was a river
You navigated her current expertly
But no one warned you
About the opening to the ocean
Your boat wasn't hurricane ready
Jul 10 · 276
Firefly
Kalliope Jul 10
You're like fireflies in July
The air is thick
The night is dark
Your light mesmerizing me from where I stand
I'll try all night to catch up
Quietly moving through the dark
Waiting to see your glow beside me
But I'm too clumsy
And I am not quiet
And you're always five steps ahead
I'll try again tomorrow night
May 15 · 152
Blue Roses are Forever
Kalliope May 15
I found a seashell next to your picture today.
I'm not sure how it got out of its jar
I'd like to think you moved it there.
That was your way of letting me know everything's okay
And that it's been a while since I talked to you last
Jan 2021 · 497
It's Raining
Kalliope Jan 2021
Today I will cry
For the you that I wanted
For the you that I saw
For the you that you are
For the you that I loved
For the us that will never be
Jan 2021 · 518
2190
Kalliope Jan 2021
How do you learn to be alone
When you were with me
For all my milestones
How do you move on
When the pain
Is so intertwined
With the pleasure
How do you leave
When what your heart wants
Is to stay
How do you stay when you know that you can't
Jan 2021 · 423
Tonic
Kalliope Jan 2021
And in times when she felt so
Alone
Unlovable
Overbearing
She had friends to fight along
Her side
Platonic love is valuable
Jan 2021 · 279
panic
Kalliope Jan 2021
Frantic and crazy
Everything happens to me
Calm and relaxed
Everything happens for a reason
In the moment vs reflection
Dec 2020 · 1.4k
Pixelated
Kalliope Dec 2020
What do you do when you don't
Want to break a heart
But the heart in question
Cant actually be broken
Its a facade
Created to break you
Over and over
Again
Block out all emotions
Dec 2020 · 567
Third Degree
Kalliope Dec 2020
Never will I learn
To stay away from fire
Aware that I will be burned
Yet still I crave its heat
Pass the alocane please
May 2019 · 466
Out of Ink
Kalliope May 2019
Just a pen and a cap
Made perfectly for each other
Fitting together tightly
But the cap has been chewed on
And no longer fits
Just like plastic
Apr 2019 · 375
Through the Motions
Kalliope Apr 2019
So I cut my hair
And changed my barbells
Switched out my hoop
And bought new clothes
Rearranged my room
Changed shampoos
But still I feel the same
Apr 2019 · 359
Unorganized
Kalliope Apr 2019
I don't write very well
I can't find a flow
All over the pages
Every word goes

I don't write very well
The words don't make sense
Sometimes it feels better
To write in past tense

I don't write very well
But I need to express my emotions
And separate my thoughts
From this world's commotions
Apr 2019 · 651
Epidermal Regeneration
Kalliope Apr 2019
I thought new hands on my skin
would burn
My skin is healthier than ever
I don't feel your fingerprints anymore
Apr 2019 · 277
No Measuring Cups
Kalliope Apr 2019
I fell so easily
Into your mold
What I thought would be warm
Is now so cold
I set the oven
To 300 hundred degrees
The only thing I feel now
Is your bitter freeze
You didn't follow the recipe
Mar 2019 · 561
Seasonal
Kalliope Mar 2019
Temperature rising
I feel I can breathe
Express my emotions
Be happy, at ease
Finally able to think clearly
Feb 2019 · 466
12 feet
Kalliope Feb 2019
Deeper and deeper the further I go
There's no light around me
No room left to grow
My mind is uncertain
My heart set in stone
Deeper and deeper and further from home
Jan 2019 · 411
Relapse
Kalliope Jan 2019
Every one knows cigarettes and liquor
Are temporary
Rough *** and late drives end as quickly as they began
You stop tripping and rolling once you wake up
How foolish of me to think you were forever
I got a tattoo instead.
Jan 2019 · 978
Kay
Kalliope Jan 2019
Kay
Perpetually lost
Figuratively stuck
Exhaustingly overworked
Disgustingly underpaid
Literally confused
Effortlessly cliche
Beautifully me
Sometimes it be like that
Jan 2019 · 453
Through Time
Kalliope Jan 2019
You've got an idea of what life is
What your life should be
It's always been there
Since you were 8
Creating the future with barbies and sims

You turn 15
Your view changes
You're gonna be cool parents
With tattoos and leniency
Married to the guy you just met
You're so in love

You turn 18 now
You decide you don't want this life
Or any life
If it's not the life you pictured
It can't be a happy one
So you pull away from all the things that made you happy

You just turned 28
Surrounded by friends
A decent job
You're smiling, laughing
Reminiscing even
Only remembering the good
Life's weird y'all
Jan 2019 · 285
Frosted Flakes
Kalliope Jan 2019
I miss Sunday mornings
On the couch with coffee
After a long Saturday night
Spent with nicotine and your body

I miss your t-shirts on my skin
With nothing covering yours
Your head on my lap
Just ignoring all our chores

I miss riding in your car
Cozy in the passenger seat
Windows down music loud
Soaring down the street

I miss the day I left
Fighting over how it all began
Lighting up my cigarette
Promising you could be a better man
It was hard to walk away
But I knew we wouldn't get better
I'm sorry I couldn't stay
Jan 2019 · 4.8k
My Flamingo
Kalliope Jan 2019
I hope your new life is free
Cool breezes
No stress
I hope you stretch your legs
With no worries
Your pond full of shrimp
Your heart full
I bet your feathers
Are positively pink
And always fluffed
Admiring your admirers
And I hope you know
While you hangout with your flamingo flock
Forgotten, you are not
I miss you
Jan 2019 · 1.5k
Blue Roses
Kalliope Jan 2019
The new year is never happy for me
It marks a new year without you
Another month without a gathering
Another week without a lunch outing
And another day without a phone call

I talk to you still
Less often than when you first left
But every new year I'm sure to catch you up
The kids have gotten so big
My parents have finally matured

I've finally grown up
Can make responsible decisions
Not living purely on my emotions
All of this growth stems from you

It hurts my heart knowing you'll never see any of it
You exist one minute and are nothing the next
Jan 2019 · 642
Sea Salt and Vinegar
Kalliope Jan 2019
I'm just a bitter soul
In love with love
And my idealizations
I see your potential
Know what you could be
Push you to be your best
Know what we could be
But at the end of the night
That's not you
And my inbox is still empty
Jan 2019 · 267
No Vacancy
Kalliope Jan 2019
With an open palm
And out stretched arm
You grasp my hand
But once again you take no weight
Intertwine your fingers with mine
Make my heart skip beats
Just long enough to transfer
Your demons
They play well with mine
I've got no space
I'm filled to the max
I take them anyway
With my heart in cracks
You're never here for me
But I can't tell you no
Jan 2019 · 1.1k
Static
Kalliope Jan 2019
I love knowing what red feels like
How painful blue can be
The sting of green
Even the bitterness of jet black

I love myself on days of lilac
And question myself on nights of turquoise
But I can't visualize this empty
My heart hurts
Nov 2018 · 559
Whiskey Day Dreams
Kalliope Nov 2018
I want to forget what I said
But I want to remember how it feels
Nov 2018 · 449
Uno
Kalliope Nov 2018
Uno
Your promises mean nothing
Your words the same
Not quite lies
But never truthful
I don't know how to play this game
You've got me beat
For once I'll say it
I surrender
You win
A handful of cards I don't understand
You have one and know just when to play
Nov 2018 · 410
Deep Blue
Kalliope Nov 2018
All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul
I'll continue to sink lower and lower
Oct 2018 · 375
Bright Orange
Kalliope Oct 2018
With heavy eyes
And stiff bones
I say goodbye
To what was once
A home
I am afraid
I have to go
A brand new road
To be travelled alone
I won't forgot
All those good times
We had on late nights
And cheap moonshine
In my heart
I'll forever hold
As I say goodbye
To who was once a home
Your freckle placements are forever etched into my mind
Oct 2018 · 382
Mental Apartment
Kalliope Oct 2018
Everyday I come home
I eat dinner at
My table of selfpity
To watch old memories play on
My television of self doubt
Showering in jealousy and hate
Finally forcing sleep on
My bed of loneliness
Self destructive
I can't stop
Unproductive
I'm just a prop
Oct 2018 · 463
Spiteful
Kalliope Oct 2018
It must be beautiful to not be jealous
To just feel happiness
And joy for others
Not that small pain
In your stomach
The little shocks
In your brain
The ache
In your heart
Help me please
Or I'll have to leave
My brain won't ease
I don't know what to believe
Oct 2018 · 684
Head Case
Kalliope Oct 2018
If I could sit you down and make you understand my mind I would
I want to love you
I want to be loved by you
It's not that easy
Relationships are a love triangle
You, me, and my brain
My intrusive thoughts don't know when to shut up
A protective friend
A possessive ex
Always there
Hard to ignore
Eventually you'll grow tired of them popping up
But they can't be blocked
Can't put a restraining order on my mind
Just take my hand
And take some time
Tell me you love me
And it will all be fine
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