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"volvo" poems
i woke up today to the world drinking tea and chaos, as if nothing has changed, like the ground hasn't collided and caused the water to rise or the fact that the government just may not care about us at all. the debt we are in could last us a century, and i'm not talkin' about the government funds, i'm worried about how luck is never on our side of the dead green grass but, we can get through this. i've never been one for religion, so when i catch myself saying that i have faith, it's feels like marbles in my mouth and the glass is melting to form a sculpture of how we could be little or we could be big, but only time will tell in between the seconds, and that moment we know which we are, i'll turn to you and tell you if the faith is still crashing on my bad days and i hope you'll stick around if it isn't. if you don't stay, the earth may quake close to a 8.5 and it will go down in history of how difficult it was to piece back my grounds. so even if the world stops spinning, i'll still spin it for you like when you used to pay for my admission and walk me to my doorstep, like there was nothing more dangerous than leaving traces of my footsteps across my dewy lawn. i'll spin it like the beer bottle with the foam settling at the bottom, just so i can see something fluid move because sometimes being fluid is more beautiful than being solid since solidity only has one shape. so once you tell me that you won't be there to spin my bad days to good, i'll leave you alone, like i would the dead carcass of the deer we hit two days ago in your rusty volvo but don't be surprised if you ever wonder if i dream about you and when the answer is only every once in a while.
0
Mar 11, 2011
Mar 11, 2011 at 6:08 AM UTC
earthquakes cause tsunamis
i woke up today to the world drinking tea and chaos, as if nothing has changed, like the ground hasn't collided and caused the water to rise or the fact that the government just may not care about us at all. the debt we are in could last us a century, and i'm not talkin' about the government funds, i'm worried about how luck is never on our side of the dead green grass but, we can get through this. i've never been one for religion, so when i catch myself saying that i have faith, it's feels like marbles in my mouth and the glass is melting to form a sculpture of how we could be little or we could be big, but only time will tell in between the seconds, and that moment we know which we are, i'll turn to you and tell you if the faith is still crashing on my bad days and i hope you'll stick around if it isn't. if you don't stay, the earth may quake close to a 8.5 and it will go down in history of how difficult it was to piece back my grounds. so even if the world stops spinning, i'll still spin it for you like when you used to pay for my admission and walk me to my doorstep, like there was nothing more dangerous than leaving traces of my footsteps across my dewy lawn. i'll spin it like the beer bottle with the foam settling at the bottom, just so i can see something fluid move because sometimes being fluid is more beautiful than being solid since solidity only has one shape. so once you tell me that you won't be there to spin my bad days to good, i'll leave you alone, like i would the dead carcass of the deer we hit two days ago in your rusty volvo but don't be surprised if you ever wonder if i dream about you and when the answer is only every once in a while.
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48
There you were on your camo Kawasaki Riding leathers on, in racing position Pacing the metallic beige Subaru Pacing the vintage blue Volvo Pacing me, in the back seat, Hungover.
0
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013 at 2:46 PM UTC
Camo Kawasaki
I wrote your sweet name in the glistening snow I drank too much beer and just had to go it's your weddin' reception and I thought Fred should know that I nailed you last week in my 86 Volvo Good thing I drank that 12 pack of Schlitz cause the beer ya'll servin' gives me the sh-ts I know it's a tad sloppy but if I get on my knees I may **** icicles cause my doodads'l freeze! Now the world knows that the ****** did lie will ya cross the 'T' Billy Bob? I done ****** myself dry Happy Honeymoon Fred and your two timin' ***** Don't forget to tell him 'bout Bubba and Frank? Burp! ....somebody catch me!!!
0
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC
Redneck Wedding Toast
People with plastic smiles wave to me over their white picket fences I avoid their gaze but they just smile as I drive past Back and froth twice a day every day at minimum I fear their cheerful greetings there invitations to barbecues and parties where I'll only be singled out I do not need the hive mind, the men who we envision in dark suits with red eyes but who are really just you and us down deep inside I drive by the face of evil every day And as it chuckles and laughs as I drive by in my old beat-up Volvo I avoid looking into the empty-pits where a soul is supposed to be
0
Mar 9, 2011
Mar 9, 2011 at 5:50 AM UTC
Good Morning, Good Day
what is death? a middle-aged man in a volvo, collecting payments and favors? i met him once on his road trip from new york to california. i imagined death streaking across america, the way the ground shakes and swallows its people. i didn't ask him anything. i was afraid of his answers but he keeps files on every living being and sorts through them when he gets bored, picking people off like flies. i figured he had heard about the likes of me before. is death the object of a mid-life crisis for a god who got a little too close to the sun and got his feelings hurt? maybe that is the answer after all. he left me at a truck stop off the interstate in anniston, alabama. i didn't catch his name, but i think we'll be introduced again real soon.
0
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 17, 2011 at 6:39 PM UTC
anniston, alabama (what is death?)
after one last summer of cottages, palm-beers floating on the lake, faceplanting into the waves while trying to kneeboard, badly-planned but perfectly-timed trips to toronto for shows (getting kurt viled) the family casa (host of many ragers and teenage kicks) was sold and georgian bay was no longer home. my parents bought a new truck and moved what was once 15 quesnelle drive down to cape breton island, three quarter million in pocket and i, i had a resurgence of old feelings towards a girl i won't name brought on by our rekindled friendship after the death of my best friend, (nothin' helped me get thru those months quite like that smile) and after an embarrassing night spent having various altercations (fisticuffs) with a young birch tree behind my pal's place i hopped in my '03 volvo and sped west like that old man once told dean to do. dust flying thru the open windows and my split knuckles smilin' at the fat old sun. that summer the bookstore, where i bought so many weathered novels, died and the man who was its overseer, with whom i spent so many evenings philosophizing over cups of joe in the closed-up shop , sort of faded away; i'd see him thursdays at the study sipping whatever he drank there in the corner and always felt too bad about the closing of cottage books, ashamed in a word, to ever go over and buy the guy a beer. still don't know why. guess i'm a bit of a ***** that drive out west was good. made 10 mixes in addition to CDs i already had and slept on the highway side and stopped where ever the hell i wanted to stop. smoked cigars while blazing over the pavement with my life in the backseat at 120 km/h not knowing how to feel, but doing alright.
0
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 1:06 AM UTC
the closed bookstore
after one last summer of cottages, palm-beers floating on the lake, faceplanting into the waves while trying to kneeboard, badly-planned but perfectly-timed trips to toronto for shows (getting kurt viled) the family casa (host of many ragers and teenage kicks) was sold and georgian bay was no longer home. my parents bought a new truck and moved what was once 15 quesnelle drive down to cape breton island, three quarter million in pocket and i, i had a resurgence of old feelings towards a girl i won't name brought on by our rekindled friendship after the death of my best friend, (nothin' helped me get thru those months quite like that smile) and after an embarrassing night spent having various altercations (fisticuffs) with a young birch tree behind my pal's place i hopped in my '03 volvo and sped west like that old man once told dean to do. dust flying thru the open windows and my split knuckles smilin' at the fat old sun. that summer the bookstore, where i bought so many weathered novels, died and the man who was its overseer, with whom i spent so many evenings philosophizing over cups of joe in the closed-up shop , sort of faded away; i'd see him thursdays at the study sipping whatever he drank there in the corner and always felt too bad about the closing of cottage books, ashamed in a word, to ever go over and buy the guy a beer. still don't know why. guess i'm a bit of a ***** that drive out west was good. made 10 mixes in addition to CDs i already had and slept on the highway side and stopped where ever the hell i wanted to stop. smoked cigars while blazing over the pavement with my life in the backseat at 120 km/h not knowing how to feel, but doing alright.
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34
Do you remember that day We go in your old Volvo after class And drove west out into west of nowhere Passing a museum about dinosaurs And their place in western Mass. Until we found that old, small town That belonged in another era, With small houses, and small streets And signs on the doors giving various history degrees. The music you played didn’t fit With the scenes we passed, Children on bikes that laughed at us As we stared down their streets Hands over eyes like explorers Notebooks out and ready like cartographers Pens tips chewed in the ends of our mouths Like the writers we wanted to be. And It was all fun and games Until we had to turn around, In that corn field of all places, That seemed to never end, Because it was fall and the corn stalks yellowed And I imagined they would have crunched under our feet In the cool autumn air I breathed through the open window. You went deer-in-the-headlights As some farmer came by in his truck And you started joking -Until fear start creeping- “This is the end for us,” Because it looked like something from a film
 Where two college kids die alone in a cornfield, ****** unsolved Scythe found with no prints The beginning of a bad movie script. But we lived, Because he gave us directions back home Back to route 93 Or 94, or 270 Where we parted for one of our final times Before you left for the big city, Losing this memory to history Like all those little houses And all their little families.
0
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 1:11 AM UTC
Little Houses
First poem to Tina as my lover no more. I. Three years and eight months. My closest. My one. She'd stayed through madness Enough. I am a man of demons. As I slayed the last one I turned to see her having fallen For the blow As well. Women and children Die first. II. We cry. We kiss and cry. Make love crying. Laugh crying. Leaving streaks on her back Of salty regret As I kiss her every single Detail farewell. How can gratitude for love Hurt like being hated By a loved One? III. I take full responsibility. Never raised a hand, but spoke Hard and disgusting Bottled anger. Her leaving makes it Poetry; lends meaning. I'll drink again, but the drunk Demon Is dead. IVa. Today I'll come home And forget to cook For just one. That Volvo will never Come speeding down the Gravel road again containing Other than an ex Coming to collect More things that are no Longer Ours. IVb. No longer mine. I say like all Others in grief: *This pain Is new to me.* I embrace it on the floor Holding her sweater That I burned a little Warming it on the stove for Her in winter. Then it's into the box With it. I'll leave a tear on her every Garment, thanking for The love and passion They held within. V. I look up at skies as blue As they come. I will live here alone. Thanking for all the beauty, And all we learned from What wasn't. All is how it should be. This was our road to Travel together. Be well. Be loved. Be safe. You owe me nothing. Be happy for this; There's growth in it. You are no longer my Girlfriend, but you'll Always be my Girl. "Together" was our word. To Get Her was My most gracious gift Since Life. Now let me cry Like a child lost. Then I'll move on, Being neither.
0
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
Together
First poem to Tina as my lover no more. I. Three years and eight months. My closest. My one. She'd stayed through madness Enough. I am a man of demons. As I slayed the last one I turned to see her having fallen For the blow As well. Women and children Die first. II. We cry. We kiss and cry. Make love crying. Laugh crying. Leaving streaks on her back Of salty regret As I kiss her every single Detail farewell. How can gratitude for love Hurt like being hated By a loved One? III. I take full responsibility. Never raised a hand, but spoke Hard and disgusting Bottled anger. Her leaving makes it Poetry; lends meaning. I'll drink again, but the drunk Demon Is dead. IVa. Today I'll come home And forget to cook For just one. That Volvo will never Come speeding down the Gravel road again containing Other than an ex Coming to collect More things that are no Longer Ours. IVb. No longer mine. I say like all Others in grief: *This pain Is new to me.* I embrace it on the floor Holding her sweater That I burned a little Warming it on the stove for Her in winter. Then it's into the box With it. I'll leave a tear on her every Garment, thanking for The love and passion They held within. V. I look up at skies as blue As they come. I will live here alone. Thanking for all the beauty, And all we learned from What wasn't. All is how it should be. This was our road to Travel together. Be well. Be loved. Be safe. You owe me nothing. Be happy for this; There's growth in it. You are no longer my Girlfriend, but you'll Always be my Girl. "Together" was our word. To Get Her was My most gracious gift Since Life. Now let me cry Like a child lost. Then I'll move on, Being neither.
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88
We used to talk about going to Montana--escaping it all, building a log cabin and making a garden.  We were going to hunt and fish for food--make rugs and hats from the fur. But look at us now. You live in the city and drive a Volvo. Goldfish in a glass bowl. You even taught your cat to walk on a leash. Can you see the sky with all the smog? I'm not any better. Living under the bridge; the only hunting I do is for cans, the rare and illusive aluminum nickel, so that I can buy *****   I walk down to the river's edge and look up at the expansive sky. I close my eyes. And when I open them, baby, we're in Montana.
0
Aug 4, 2024
Aug 4, 2024 at 2:40 PM UTC
Montana
the only jeans with holes, the polo shirt with "passionate peach" paint from the kitchen remodel she wanted, the yard work shoes these were the raiments he chose for his final drive, the one in "park" in the garage, with the engine idling, its humming a monotonous lullaby sung by compliant pistons he wandered through the house like a sated forager, looking at everything, for nothing, old pictures on the walls--children, parents, one of himself, the Yale mortar board tilting on a face who could have been a stranger, and was, that last afternoon books on shelves, mostly read, their stories now forgotten even Moby **** his favorite--eight silent vertical letters replacing a white whale he relentlessly pursued with Ahab a sink with one small plate and the disposal's shining ring, the burial ground for his last, uneaten meal those were the visions he chose before writing his notorious note, "BYE, ALL MY PAPERS ARE IN THE ROLL TOP" taking the keys from the peg, and taking his final steps into the cluttered gray garage, to his 2011 Volvo when some hand turned the key, igniting a welcoming flame, a few intrusive notes of a Beatles song came through the six speaking speakers yanking something in his gut, pulling his hand to the handle to open the door, to return to the house, the pictures, the stories on the walls, but the other, the right hand, ejected the CD, rejecting the beguiling voices that would have him stay, for another dull, deaf day he folded his hands in his lap, allowed his chin to rest on his chest where his eyes could see the holes in his threadbare denim taking solace in the fact that he had chosen the right clothes so those still in the house, yet in the blur called life would have only whole and clean reminders of him to fold neatly, and leave on the porch for the Salvation Army
0
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 2:11 PM UTC
the clothes he chose
the only jeans with holes, the polo shirt with "passionate peach" paint from the kitchen remodel she wanted, the yard work shoes these were the raiments he chose for his final drive, the one in "park" in the garage, with the engine idling, its humming a monotonous lullaby sung by compliant pistons he wandered through the house like a sated forager, looking at everything, for nothing, old pictures on the walls--children, parents, one of himself, the Yale mortar board tilting on a face who could have been a stranger, and was, that last afternoon books on shelves, mostly read, their stories now forgotten even Moby **** his favorite--eight silent vertical letters replacing a white whale he relentlessly pursued with Ahab a sink with one small plate and the disposal's shining ring, the burial ground for his last, uneaten meal those were the visions he chose before writing his notorious note, "BYE, ALL MY PAPERS ARE IN THE ROLL TOP" taking the keys from the peg, and taking his final steps into the cluttered gray garage, to his 2011 Volvo when some hand turned the key, igniting a welcoming flame, a few intrusive notes of a Beatles song came through the six speaking speakers yanking something in his gut, pulling his hand to the handle to open the door, to return to the house, the pictures, the stories on the walls, but the other, the right hand, ejected the CD, rejecting the beguiling voices that would have him stay, for another dull, deaf day he folded his hands in his lap, allowed his chin to rest on his chest where his eyes could see the holes in his threadbare denim taking solace in the fact that he had chosen the right clothes so those still in the house, yet in the blur called life would have only whole and clean reminders of him to fold neatly, and leave on the porch for the Salvation Army
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37
The cat followed me in the door last muggy night. on a return trip from a beer run, Kurt heard a yowl as screaming as any hurt guitar, and looked under his volvo into the far dark. Two canary eyes leered. Then, slinking, the canary eyes moved. And this cat rubbed its body, the length of its shivering spine along my small shins. And that cat followed me in.
0
Oct 3, 2012
Oct 3, 2012 at 8:20 PM UTC
The Cat.
I thought, “her nail polish is chipping” that one I bought her when we got lost in rite aid and she stole a bottle of wine and offered me my first line in the back of Robby’s Volvo. Her nail polish is chipping and she’s digging the polish into my chest I hear her breathing moisten and I close my eyes to her light as if it hurts to look at her straight. No one has ever accused me of being a man so I sit back and let her lips make me feel like one.
0
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 3:20 PM UTC
Blow
Like Christmas lights on the lawn in May We don't belong to each other. No, not anymore. I stopped keeping score. I think your hat is in my sock drawer. We lit too many candles, filled too many balloons before the recorder started we were singing all the tunes and I stayed a little later and you drove too fast for me now I'm staring at the wreckage and you're looking for your keys. I've burned everything we had And I can see for miles.
0
Nov 26, 2011
Nov 26, 2011 at 4:13 PM UTC
Get Out of the Volvo, I Want to Drive
Your nails stain my skin like Alaska, grains beaten into my elbows from riverbeds and the crossings. “Have a drink with me, my treat.” I remember you from way back, listening to Dave Matthews Band while we emptied out veins in the front seat of my Volvo. Revolting, we voted independent and we decided to never come back to the night where Alaska was even a possibility.
0
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 17, 2012 at 6:40 PM UTC
Nail Stain
I was on the down and outs no money no girl and she was empty as my wallet slightly crazed with a cute face and the *** was loud and distracting for awhile but it was empty too and I started to wonder if this was it if this was where all those valiant dreams of chivalry and white knights ended up in the back of her two door volvo pacing thrusts with the radio I got out of there quick told her to find a nice boy with a nice house and a nice dog told her to quit smoking that pack a day told her to go back to school told her a hundred things she never heard so now I'm on the down and out with no money no girl and no *** here's to chivalry
0
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013 at 11:22 PM UTC
White Knight
It's always the bat-shit, rabid dog crazy ones that will put up a really good front when you first meet them. You're always amazed at how normal they appear. They are intelligent, hold down jobs, drive Volvo's; maybe they even have children that they seem to take care of. They pay bills, celebrate holidays and have houseplants. They might even have a dog or a cat, or a sickly looking bird in a cage. But, just underneath the false facade of lucid smiles, lurks a whack-job from hell. They make Sybil and Lizzie Borden look like Mother Theresa. If you find yourself with one of these women, don't confront them, it only makes matters worse, and could prove deadly. Just smile and nod, and slowly back out the door. Don't stop until you see the Pacific Ocean. Get in and wash yourself off. Your safer with the sharks and the riptide.
0
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 8:53 AM UTC
Watch Out
My green Volvo perching in pine needles we make it through the clearing. The uneven rock greets us while the boats pass by trying to make out our figures, but seeing limbs in all the wrong places. It was still winter. Do you remember that? We thought it was warm out, but it was just the sun that we hadn’t seen in months. Your jacket cushioned my head. We thought the boats knew.
0
Sep 17, 2012
Sep 17, 2012 at 12:05 AM UTC
The Rock
In Kansas the streets and the dog pounds are always preoccupied by the rain and the nights that seem to cast over cities ballroom dance floors rail road tracks with deer skulls backyards apartment draft windows the nights are tired and lonely Leola climbs a fence she climbs the side of the world of the moon the voice of god the chimney puffing old man cigar and she looks out over the city far far away as if she were a wife of a sailor casting her lonely brown eyes out over the sea's tongue and she sees a tiny boat tipping side to side there is a light mist of either tears or winters fog Ah, but the city is far and her fine leather shoes are on her feet Leola is tall and her eyes are lit by something something bright and full of sorrow and hope the roof tops and highways she wishes for smoking a leather colored cigarette and the country side sings a little river stream running down by the trees Leola Leola Leola we all wait for you I'm still in my blue Volvo stereo performing infinity static hum I fall asleep Leola to the dreams you have over roof tops and chimneys sea beds and a sailors love lost out at sea and winter to harsh to your lips and your tears that he can no longer see are more vibrant late at night in the churches front porch but the door is locked and a red truck disappears down the road like the word I love you lost on the tip of the drunken tongue.
0
Mar 5, 2013
Mar 5, 2013 at 7:58 PM UTC
Leola
I'm better now. It only hurts when I manage to Breathe. I'll help you pack. Carry to your Volvo. When you leave, I'll either wave back or Throw this stone When I know you're Out of Reach. You thank me for taking Things so well. Remember, only one of us Stopped loving The other. The other Is still the same. Only pale with Pain and shortness of breath. After denial, confusion and Anger, all that's left is Character. Will you scream at the sword As it turns, or laugh Carelessly bleeding out? I'll handle things how I always Have. Carve my features on This stone, so my softness won't Soften you. I'm more than Just a straight face, You know.
0
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 10:09 AM UTC
This Stone
She is as far from a morning Person as her Volvo V70 is from The speed limit as she drives me To the riverside bus stop. Leopard patterned one-piece With little leopard ears on the Hood, pilot Ray Bans covering Eyes as red as her station wagon And as narrow as her appreciation Of my pre-5am sense of humour When I giggle at how those little leopard Ears bounce along with every Bump in the road.
0
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC
Let Sleeping Cats...
Hooded hitchhiker of haunted hours! (Or haunted houses, as the mainstream would have me believe) Somewhere between New Mexico and New York the tables must have turned - see, it's not you that's seeking a ride, but me (If a ride is what the kids are calling such a sweet and final relief these days) Life is indeed "a highway" but I missed the EXIT HERE when overcome with the sight of your dusty bone-dry thumb creeping out from underneath a solemn black bell (And they said I slow down for nothing!) My curiosity intensified when: I glimpsed you behind a hydroplaning semi, just north of the Missouri River: I was going left from the right lane and I shouted to you: "hop in!" Your blatant denial leaves me wondering... (do you feel as though you are above me?) (are there Escalades in the underworld?) (does a '98 Volvo wagon not convey the utmost message of doom and despair?) To clarify things, please observe the billboard on your passenger side: I AM RECKLESS, I AM LETHAL I AM HALF-BLIND AND SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL DOING 90 ON AN UNPAVED ROAD FINGERS DUSTING STEERING WHEEL TIRES DUSTING DITCHES (Please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times - unless you'd rather not) Oh, robed and rusty reaper! My consensus is this: - I will not seek you out, but - I - will - not - turn - you - down (Our final joyride looms just outside my rearview mirrors and directly inside my stream of consciousness)
0
Sep 8, 2013
Sep 8, 2013 at 11:38 PM UTC
Road Trip Down (eternal and bottomless) South
Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Not even a computer mouse All of the people and pets Were nestled in bed Waiting for a fat man In a flying -reindeer sled Just as I ventured To slip off to sleep A noise -- maybe a clatter Was heard from the street I ran to get me a view Opening the window I put my head through Down on the corner Across from the jail A fat drunken bearded man Was singing off key Merry Christmas to all you boys I hope ya all make it out without fail The kettle had just enough money To make my  own flippin bail I was annoyed  so I yelled down Go home you soppin santa --you stinkin clown GO HOME- So the real Santa might actually appear F*** off you a** hole he yelled back As he popped open a beer I am the real santa you **** head Then he sorta suggested My reindeer flew off when I was arrested Mrs. Clause is so cold Them elves is lucky they don't get molested But if you're worried ya won't get your gift Then get your dumba**  down here And give me a lift Hastily dressing I wondered If anyone else might have heard But the way they were snoring Obviously they heard not a word Grabbing a jacket I picked up my keys Went out to take this crazy drunk home So that he won't freeze When I finally found him It way back behind the dumpster Where he was tossing his cookies Being eyeballs by two coppers Who looked like a pair of rookies "COME ON " I pleaded  " lets get you home" He peered at his wristwatch"sh** he exclaimed I'm supposed to be delivering  gifts in Maine He clumped into my new Volvo --stinking of ***** "A Volvo" he sneered why couldn't you drive a Ford ..comet Then he mumbled some words below his stale breath And my car floated up in the air  -- scaring me to death He yelled out commands as my car shot forward "Rides pretty nice" he muttttered" but not as nice as a Ford"      "On Volvo .. On Volvo .. On ..oh heck .. Just hook a left    No nonono I mean right Then he yelled out the window MERRY(buuurp) CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD EFFEN NIGHT.    ** ** Cough cough Hoooo!!
0
Dec 27, 2015
Dec 27, 2015 at 7:36 AM UTC
Twas the flight before christmas
Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Not even a computer mouse All of the people and pets Were nestled in bed Waiting for a fat man In a flying -reindeer sled Just as I ventured To slip off to sleep A noise -- maybe a clatter Was heard from the street I ran to get me a view Opening the window I put my head through Down on the corner Across from the jail A fat drunken bearded man Was singing off key Merry Christmas to all you boys I hope ya all make it out without fail The kettle had just enough money To make my  own flippin bail I was annoyed  so I yelled down Go home you soppin santa --you stinkin clown GO HOME- So the real Santa might actually appear F*** off you a** hole he yelled back As he popped open a beer I am the real santa you **** head Then he sorta suggested My reindeer flew off when I was arrested Mrs. Clause is so cold Them elves is lucky they don't get molested But if you're worried ya won't get your gift Then get your dumba**  down here And give me a lift Hastily dressing I wondered If anyone else might have heard But the way they were snoring Obviously they heard not a word Grabbing a jacket I picked up my keys Went out to take this crazy drunk home So that he won't freeze When I finally found him It way back behind the dumpster Where he was tossing his cookies Being eyeballs by two coppers Who looked like a pair of rookies "COME ON " I pleaded  " lets get you home" He peered at his wristwatch"sh** he exclaimed I'm supposed to be delivering  gifts in Maine He clumped into my new Volvo --stinking of ***** "A Volvo" he sneered why couldn't you drive a Ford ..comet Then he mumbled some words below his stale breath And my car floated up in the air  -- scaring me to death He yelled out commands as my car shot forward "Rides pretty nice" he muttttered" but not as nice as a Ford"      "On Volvo .. On Volvo .. On ..oh heck .. Just hook a left    No nonono I mean right Then he yelled out the window MERRY(buuurp) CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD EFFEN NIGHT.    ** ** Cough cough Hoooo!!
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63
16 Years Ago- I was sitting in class when that note arrived- I looked up at my teacher with a tear in my eye- He said “Richie, grab your stuff your leaving for the day” I knew at that moment I would be out of words to say- I walked to the parking lot and there stood my Dad- Leaning on his white Volvo looking so sad- We didn’t say much as we made our way over the hill- We both knew what was coming-I didn’t think it was real- We arrived at the hospital and everyone was there- Your Daughter was pregnant-Your son was scared- I looked around the room tears were singing like songs- I reached for my Grandfather’s hand- He told me “Be strong”- My dad leaned in and by your bed he was at your side- For one second longer he told you “open your eyes”- To look around the room to see us for the last time-to know we love you- To know its time- You opened your eyes and I still see them to this day- You past so fast here are something’s I wish I could say- I would like to say thank you for all that you did- Taking care of so much, your brother and your kids- I know it wasn’t easy and I understand more now- You went through so much- I want you to know now- That everyone is well- Your son is being a man, and being a friend- Your daughter is good-Your Grandsons are men- So another year has come and another year gone- I’m looking at the sky and because of you I’m smiling all day long- We miss you- Richard Itskovich
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Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 1:38 PM UTC
16 Years Ago-
The first time i brought you to a party i drank so many ***** sodas that i could only mumble a barley audible i wanna go home 3 hours later. You politely excused the both of us giving the correct amount of goodbyes or so I'm told, and you wrapped me up in your fuzzy coat, picked me up like a baby. I heard that you laid me down in the backseat of your 1975 navy blue volvo. Kissed me on the forehead and turned on the heat. You put on my favorite band, and played my favorite song and drove very safe, checking on me every 3 light posts. You brought me back to my apartment and very respectfully stripped me of my clothes and replaced them with one of your old t-shirts and a pair of gym shorts. Laid me down on my bed and climbed in with me, pulling the covers over our bodies. You wrapped you arms around my drunken skeleton kissed my shoulder and slept. But really what happened was i drank so many ***** sodas that i didn't see you sneak off with the nymphish looking redhead. So many vodkas that i could dream out a gentlemanly situation and enough alcohol that you could take credit.
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Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013 at 3:35 PM UTC
The first time i brought you to a party