General Note:
This is an autobiographical poem, given here in seven parts for reading convenience, which mentions some personal events of my life and the names of a few spiritual masters that I have read and studied a good deal about, the main ones being Paramahansa Yogananda and Meher Baba; the latter I have also written about in two other poems titled: #1 “The Highest Of The High” and #2 “The Universal Divine Plan” which are also posted on this website.*

Part 1
Even as a little child I do now recall
You often would respond to my call.
And whenever I was filled with sorrow
about certain things feared of tomorrow
You would comfort me in some natural way
assuring me there wouldn't be such a day
and then my heart would experience much joy
almost just like acquiring a long expected toy.

Together we would have laughter and fun
like a couple of children playing in the sun.
Though You did reproach me when I was bad
then lovingly forgive me when I'd be so sad.
You would always try and point out to me
the good things around there were to see.

You always were the one I called on when in need
beseeching You as no one else believed me indeed.
You were more or less my constant companion and friend
and together would see things through until the very end.
Now and then I would go my separate way and depart
but sooner or later I would remember You in my heart.
It seemed somehow, You had a permanent place in there
as if it would be impossible to leave it empty and bare.

Part 2
The days did pass by and as I was growing up with age
You would sometimes come and offer advice like a sage
especially when found out doing naughty things some days
by my elders, at the time, being not agreeable to their ways.
They would, by inflicting pain, try and get the message across to me
that what I'd been doing was particularly not very pleasing to see.
Those were the times when I would hide and cry my heart out,
wailing with remorse and anguish I would doubt You were about.
Blaming You for my misfortunes I would try and close the door
not accepting Your existence and then declaring a private war.
When all would become quiet and my mind's rage did subside
You would try and reason with me to put all my weapons aside.

Often were the times when I would listen rapt with awe,
to words of wisdom coming from deep in my heart's core.
Little did I know, at the time, that they would prove to be true,
as only to realise, much later in life, that they came from You.
Yet then, many a time, I had the temerity to pass You by
and meeting with troubles and difficulties wondered why.
The hardships I encountered seemed only to confirm in my mind
that You were a figment of my imagination better left far behind.

My alienation from You increased to such an extent,
as I grew up, becoming a storehouse of ill-content.
Associating with those very much in the same boat,
I began to drift and sink in life's tide rather than float.
Such was my plight, I realised, turning my back on You
ignorantly, yet willingly, tangling with a desparate crew.
That worldly ocean contains very many surprises in store,
for the unwary traveller, going away from the home shore.
By living an unnatural existence in a stormed-tossed sea
it's everyone for themselves disregarding their humanity.
But there were the moments when You would shine through
via members of my family and others advice on behalf of You.
Little did I heed though, what they would concernedly tell,
as I plunged headlong into a self-created, God forsaken hell.

Part 3
It was only through repeated experiences, I would learn
that, where I was heading, would surely make me burn.
Tempted with fancy indulgences my mind would lead me astray
and going from one extreme to the other in weakness I would stay.
Involved with those called 'friends' who really didn't know any better,
being like the blind following the blind, with many an unseen fetter.
It was living a life of sense pleasures; mainly that of wine, women and song,
which seemed to be what everyone else was doing, as each day came along.
Now and then I would stop to reflect on the state I found myself in
but, though I tried, didn't have the determination to leave and begin
a new life which would bring out and develop my real self
instead I wallowed in the mire of this worldly life like an elf.

Then the seemingly unexpected happened, while reeking with taints
I stumbled onto some wisdom through the words of one of Thy Saints.
Paramahansa Yogananda was one of Thy true and recent devotees;
mystic, philosopher, poet and saint, through Yoga he was all of these.
The story he told of life, in a far distant land, awakened my sleeping soul,
overwhelmed my mind with inspiration and taught that You were the goal.

He made the words of the New Testament come alive for me,
with patience and love, showing how real they could easily be.
Without any coercion he helped me realise the truth they contained
for many years escaping my attention though now readily attained.
By dispelling my ignorance he was leading me gently back to You
with Divine knowledge and practical wisdom, I did follow him too.
He helped to turn my gaze inside so that I may see the Inner Light
and by acting on his advice was able to behold that blessed sight.
Transforming my existence, he told me that which I hungered for,
ignorantly looking in the wrong direction not knowing any more.
I began to know the meaning of discipline, in a persons' life by which
any individual could rise from the bottom of existence and so reach
that state of consciousness from where all problems were resolved
through perseverance and grace did get myself seriously involved.

Part 4
He opened up a whole new world of possibilities and life to see,
while reading and comprehending his words power flowed in me.
Then one day at work almost at the turn of a new year,
I heard someone mention a name they held quite dear.
It must of remained in my head like a dormant and potent seed,
because it was associated with a person of a very high breed.
As it turned out an incident happened, involving someone dear in my life,
which I recognized to be more than a chance to end some personal strife.
So, early in the new year, I became determined to give it a go,
that is, live up to my highest aspirations, forsaking much woe.
In order to remove the distance between myself and that which I aspired to
many things were done, impossible it seemed, while keeping my mind on You.

With the knowledge and courage garnered by Yoganandaji's grace
I began to come closer to You at quite a remarkably steady pace.
A lot of things were given up, mainly those holding me heavily down,
and other things were taken up, suggested by Your chosens' renown.
Purification of body and mind was the main way to achieve that end,
sublimation of all actions, inner motives, Your Will I could not offend.
You had to become my One and Only, all else I had to give away,
all that I thought was mine belonged to You, having the final say.
You were everywhere, in everything and also in everyone,
I sought to please You only, like Your Own Begotten Son.
This was more easily said than done as I soon began to see,
that I virtually had to cease to exist and live totally in thee.
How I were to do this was beyond my situation at the time
though I tried with a little success in that favorable clime.

Part 5
Then I remembered that name mentioned just a short while ago
and thus made some effort to find out more as I needed to know.
I came across and even bought a few books relating to that name,
thus began another chapter in my life which wasn't quite the same.
What I began to read was the culmination of all that had come before
and by maintaining a steady discipline realized incredibly much more.
My expectations and joy increased so much so in what I had found
all else meant nothing to me, it seemed, coming across Holy ground.
The words I read were so beautiful, loving, very profound and true
I was dumbfounded to realize they were coming directly from You.

The books I read were by and about a person called Meher Baba
whose name in English was translated as 'Compassionate Father'.
In actual fact He never wrote those books at all as such
but dictated the words on an alphabet board in his clutch.
He would spell every word out to one of His close ones patiently,
by pointing to each letter in the words, moving His finger quickly.
His close one would then record what was 'said' each time by Him
for the benefit of those who would come later, such was His Whim.

He did not write or speak during the greater part of His life,
communicating with silent gestures, not even having a wife.
The words that He 'spoke' were of the highest wisdom and Love,
bringing down Divine Truth, with which to awaken us, from above.
He confirmed and corrected what all the others said about You,
knowing more than the others did, but also respecting their view.
His was the highest philosophy that's ever been described by hand,
by anyone before or since, in this world, anywhere inscribed on land.
He was The One I was always looking for everywhere to find
You were really Him being the latest Unique One of The Kind.
He was also from the same league as Zoroaster, Rama, Krishna, Buddha,
Jesus and Muhammad, but appearing this time around called Meher Baba.

Part 6
You, Him and all the Others were the same One, it was emphasized,
but each time You'd come down were so very differently disguised.
Each time You would come heralding a New Age and New Humanity,
which was what some of Your Saints were preparing mankind to see.
By discipline, meditation, study, prayer, purification of body and mind,
one could devote them self to You in daily life, so not to be left behind
in the coming New World Order which shall abate the rushing tide
of ignorance and selfishness, being a part of mankind's lower side.

We have all seen and should know how bad its really been lately,
with all the wars and power struggles that have passed belatedly;
causing so much destruction, pain, loss of life and property
Your words would ring through my brain jolting my memory:
You said 'such are the pangs and symptoms of spiritual rebirth'
and that all would be affected by Your presence on this earth.
Which is due to mankind's forgetfulness, of its divine origin, and is instead
all engaged in asserting short lasting and false values lodged in its head.
These are based on illusion which is the reason we are grossly misled
being the cause of much evil, having ignored what You previously said.
It's only by living a divine life while here on this earth that we can all
fulfill life's purpose thus being not required to come back any more.

You compassionately stated the importance of following a Perfect Master (See Note #1)
by surrendering and obedience to Him/Her anyone could get there much faster.
He/She was someone who had already achieved life's purpose and Divine goal
and was the very embodiment and shining example of man's Highest Soul.
Only by becoming as dust at the feet of such a living true saint,
seekers could gain His/Her grace and so attain a life free of taint.

Part 7
Your advent here amongst us was like the 'spring tide of creation',
when everyone gets a gentle 'push forward' to a higher life station.
The work You did while here was often very intense and exhaustive
so much so that many times You remained very aloof and seclusive.
Undergoing a great deal of suffering while working within the inner planes
uplifting mankind's consciousness by removing the vitiating mental stains,
that have accumulated over all the years to such an enormous extent
obscuring the Light of Love and Truth revealed by Your last advent.

The words You gave came from the Source of Truth and have real meaning
and those who are ready to receive them there's a rich harvest for gleaning.
Though You did say that You 'have come not to teach but to awaken'
and it was because of Love, in this present form, Your Spirit had taken.
You showered on those who came before You of Your Love, peace and charity
not forgetting the good humor and Divine Knowledge imparted out of necessity.
Continually exhorting Your dear ones that by remembering and loving You all would be well
because You were the God man (See Note #2) Who was the slave of Your lovers; by Grace one could tell.
You did mention many times that You were not limited by this apparent human ****** form
and that You used it only to manifest Thy compassion being more accessible than the norm.
Coming down to be amongst us on our level so that we could catch a glimpse of You as before
appeasing our spiritual hunger; by sight, touch, words and deeds, thus confirm our faith for sure.

_________

Throughout all of those vast regions and far reaches of space
God can only be realised or known here on this earthly place.
There are about eighteen thousand worlds that sustain life as we know it
but it's only on this world in a human body will knowledge of God show It.
This information was imparted by the one and only Avatar of the age
who did also happen to be the greatest Divine Personality and Sage.

His name was Meher Baba and the words He has given are true
though He might be unknown unless His love has awakened you.
It was for this reason that He was known also as the Awakener
and those touched by His love regard Him as their Messenger.
He also revealed many other things including the main one that He was God
who incarnates out of love, always in a male form, against many a great odd.

The Avatar always comes when the world is undergoing a spiritual rebirth
and mankind is on the brink of destruction on his home planet called Earth.
It is God's duty to His creation and creatures to maintain and set things right
which otherwise would get too much out of hand according to His foresight.
He also gathers those around Him who recognize and accept Him while He yet lives
helping them all achieve life's Divine goal with the instructions and wisdom He gives.

These followers or disciples thus become the harbingers of world transformation
spreading His message of love and truth far and wide being the New Dispensation.
It is the Divine life lived by the Avatar in the world that inspires them so much
witnessing the things He does and says for the good of all with His loving touch.
Though Meher Baba has dropped the body His spirit lives on for those His words hearken
guiding all people who stumble across His Name which, in their heart, love does awaken.

It is also the first time in human history that a true image of His form was given
being a gift to posterity with a full account of His life, which by love was driven.
He also remained silent for the greater part of His life's stay here
because His words were taken too lightly in times past, far or near.
To those who inquired about Him He would let His silence speak for itself
which is the reason why the language of the heart is love, we do feel ourself.

However in His compassion He communicated firstly by the use of an alphabet board
and then later on through unique hand gestures that those close to Him could record.
He indicated that there are five Perfect Masters on this earth all the time
who looked after the affairs of the universe and this world in ways sublime.
They were after all God's representatives here on earth while He was physically absent
and it would be them who would bring Him down in the flesh for us all as a Divine Assent.

Never before has it been stated in such broad and clear terms
of the role they all play in God's Divine Plan which He affirms.
Though they are all one in consciousness they live and go about doing their own thing
which is none other than enlightenment and spiritual realisation to mankind they bring.
To find and meet such a one let alone to stay in his or her presence is a rare blessing indeed;
if one is fortunate enough to recognize one of them, can win their grace and on the goal proceed.

It's also due to the fact that we have been living in an Avataric Age
that there are also some imposters going around the worldly stage,
proclaiming to those who're misled that they can show them the way
which is back to God being what life is for and as the scriptures say.
If their thoughts, words and actions don't confirm what they preach
we should then keep away from them and thus be out of harms reach.

There are also some adepts who through various practices have gained a little power
who go about displaying their wares which onto the unsuspecting public they shower;
in the form of miraculous stunts or manifestations of objects which most people crave,
usually found to be under closer examination the workings and or illusions of a knave.
One has thus to be careful of these and other obstacles that await and lie ahead on the path
back towards the Goal of human life which is identity with God being the Divine aftermath.

It is by self-purification, selfless service, prayer, kindness, truthfulness, including meditation
that anyone can prepare themself with self-control over their lower nature to achieve salvation.
And this makes it easier to start walking the path at the beginning stages of our endeavour
which also cultivates true virtue and clears the way for our freedom one can feel is forever.
We are all knowingly or unknowingly treading the way back to our true home in some way or another
and must not remain dejected if in life we appear at times to be crestfallen by which fate does smother.

The Grace of God and the Perfect Masters is always available as They have the All-Seeing Eye
which means They can understand, see and know everything; nothing really passes Them by.
They're also the guardians of all humanity and our benefactors along that way back home
therefore it's up to us to please God and or one of Them by dedication on the path we roam.
As long as we try not to harm any of our fellow creatures by either thought, word or deed
we can be assured of Their help being forthcoming if in God we have faith or genuine need.
__________________­__

A pilgrimage to Thy feet someday I hope to make
where I no longer will be, except as dust, for my sake
to please You and seek Your pleasure to date
when knowing You are really my best mate.
If You appear to be ******* me I will know
there's something more You wish me to forego.

You have a habit of working in unfathomable ways
mind boggling to those who attempt such displays
as knowing Your will when Your whim's holding sway
revealing their ignorance and causing some dismay.

You have and use the capacity of a universal mind
staggering to the imagination leaving it far behind,
being the subtlest of the subtle and pervading all planes
throughout the three worlds You're the One who entertains.
Whether in apparent joy or sorrow remaining always the same
established in reality and far beyond the opposites' game.

You're the perfect mirror reflecting what and where we are;
as being unrealistic and caught in illusion, not going very far.
When we recognise our situation and let You take us by the hand,
with all faith and humility, we can reach that place where You stand.

Outwardly You appear to have a most unassuming stature
yet inwardly possessing spiritual wealth of an infinite nature.
You radiate divine love to all who come before You;
in Thy presence it's like drowning and melting into
a supremely blissful existence beyond any worldly experience.
An intense yet somewhat cooling fire of love, in all conscience
like an inner awakening and emerging into a fathomless being,
all around as inseparable parts of an infinite ocean and seeing
that there is nothing else to behold in formless eternity
which is really our true nature and immaculate reality.

You have indicated that You're the One many seek but so few find
and that You are the Ancient One; being The Only One of a kind.
This time around though You have come not to teach but to awaken
and by remaining silent, through Your silence, the world will be shaken.
Perhaps like an oncoming storm where lightning is seen before thunder
Your glory will manifest regardless of what is going on down under.
Eventually ushering in the New Humanity of which You have spoken
and uttering One Word, everywhere resounding, Your silence is broken.
Revealing Your greatest manifestation as You long ago stated
thence Your Final Declaration will thus never be outdated.
-------------
You exist eternally having no beginning or end
and in reality You're the most sought after friend.
In those who are pure at heart and mind You are so easily found,
and if anyone learns to speak Your language You always come around.
In times of need, especially when the world is in much turmoil,
You make Your appearance on earth undergoing incredible toil.
To one and all You give each a gentle push forward
doing Your ages old duty bringing all closer toward
that state of existence which is indescribable for any to express
making available Your glorious nature by compassion nevertheless.

You are the Avatar - God incarnate in human form,
the oldest and wisest being exceeding all rivals born.
In each new age that You are brought down
by those Five who have been chosen to crown
You as The Highest of the High and hand over the reins
of the entire creation for You to steer away from the pains
and hidden fears of seemingly premature self-destruction,
by Thine infinite divine attributes You overcome all obstruction.

You haven't come here to establish a new society, organization or religion bring
but to revitalise and bring together all that have come before like beads on a string.
Undergoing infinite suffering while in the body for humanity's sake You are
only asking for love in return from those who know You as MEHER BABA.

A great deal of Thy work was done with those Wayfarer souls,
Thine intimate lovers, scattered all around, playing their unique roles,
but appearing somewhat dazed and destitute like other madmen around,
You recognised they were intoxicated from Divine Love true and profound.
Nourishing and satisfying their inner yearnings You helped them all get along
and when realising Whom they were with, knew it was to You they did belong.
Also You washed, clothed and fed many of the other unfortunate ones
sharing with each an intimate moment of love for which You had come.
It was because of Thy greatness and glory that You achieved all this and more
showing all mankind, by love and compassion, the road that leads to Your door.

AVATAR MEHER BABA KI JAI
________

It is a general saying that What You Seek is Seeking You. If it is so , then why the sought for (i.e. God ) is not meeting the seeker or seeker is discovering the sought for (i.e. God). It is very easy to say that God is looking and searching for us. If it is so, then why we deviate from our path. Why we are attracted to the lust, money or other worldly material. If God is searching us, then certainly he has to guide us in tracing him. But the reality is just opposite. If tread the path of God, people will laugh at you. If you are working in any office, it is very easy to talk about politics, movies, girls, foods, clothes etc. It is very difficult to find a companion with whom you can speak about God. It looks as if God has created all these hindrances so that it is not convenient to seek him.

       You seek about movie and you find movie theater. You look for clothes, you find the multiples mall easily. But what about God. Go and ask questions to so called Spiritual Leaders, Spiritual Guru and ask for their experience regarding proof of god, and you do not find definite answered.

       I have met various so called spiritual leaders, spiritual Gurus and asked about their spiritual experience about the God. But I receive only hesitating answer, that too also in Negative. I do not want to name such leaders.

        I have also read many books like GOD SPEAKS by MEHER BABA, LAW OF SPIRIT WORLD by KHORSHID BHAWNAGRI, AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF YOGI by Yogananda Paramhansa, Gospel of Shri Ramakrishna. But the end result is confusion. Each book gives different account of God. If God is seeking us then why the same is confusing us by providing so diverse ways of following him. Ramakrishna says money and women has to be avoided on the path of God. While Osho and Modern Gurus says just contrary. In fact in word of Osho, without treading the path of *** , it is difficult to follow the path of God for modern man.

          For Vedanta, the seeking has to follow the ascetic path. The path the self restraint. While the path of tantra (the Left Marg) to utilize women and wine for attaining the Samadhi. It is Just incomprehensible to believe that just two contradictory path lead to realization of same God.

          When you look to go nearer to a particular cities or places , then on the way you start meeting land marks, evidencing that the path, you are following , is going to lead you to your destination. In fact on the ways, you find many stones, indicating the distance which is yet to be covered in reaching the destination. But in case of God, things are just contradictory. The more people you approaches to seek advise regarding the God, the more disappointment comes to you. The more book you read to tread the path of God, the more confusion you creates for yourself. The more you discuss the topic of people around, the more alone you become. The more you tread the path of truth, the difficult your life become.

            Then how it can be said that WHAT YOU SEEK, IS SEEKING YOU?????

           In   fact , truth is that What we seek, creates hindrance in being sought for.

Take all necessary precautions as we may be in for one hell of a ride
as certain forces are descending that will likely cause us all to slide.
It was foretold and written long ago by those ancient prophets of old
and again in the 20th century by One who claimed to be of their Fold.
He was recorded as saying that ¾ of the world's people would perish
and they would do so in spite of anyone or all those we may cherish.

He was called Meher Baba and many recognised him to be an Avatar;
a Divine incarnation of God Who was humanity's most Brightest Star.
Born towards the end of the 19th century at the beginning of a new age
to usher in a New Humanity and in spiritual matters take centre stage.
So much like all those Who'd come before Him He was destined to be
Divinely awakened and authorised to go about setting all people free.

With the words given that were recorded and written down He did say
the world was in the throes of undergoing a Spiritual rebirth in a way.
Like an expectant mother going through her motions and birth pangs
this new age would consume and devour many people with its fangs.
We only have to look back and see the horrors of late with world wars
and the advancement in technology opening up so many hidden doors.

This so-called New Humanity that is being now gradually ushered in
is the next stage of mankind's evolution that will free it of its past sin.
Individually and collectively most will all sometime have to undergo
a purging of their ignorance hidden within them that God does show.
Meher Baba has brought together all religions like beads on one string
and set the stage of the Spirituality that this New Humanity will bring.

He'll work through and with all those true religions of mankind's past
that are still around now though fading lately renewing them so to last.
By showing and revealing the underlying similarities behind them all
He beckons everyone in the world now to so therefore heed His Call.
And all that anyone will ever have to do is to keep Him in their heart
by following the precepts given in the religion of which they're a part.

The manifestation for man of Heaven on earth is what it's really about
a divine experience so great and Holy that it will cause us all to shout.
Come one and all to be a part of this New Humanity that's being born
heralding a glorious age of mankind's place on Earth by a New Dawn.
It's by the elimination of ignorance, falsehood and all our superstition
that we can all now be in and a part of The New Humanity's transition.
________

Oh beloved Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai
awaken Yourself in our hearts and stay.
Guide us beyond the opposites of duality to Thy light
irrespective of the time being either in the day or night.

It may seem this request is out of sheer vanity
though perhaps it's because of our fragile sanity.
But then You know better than anyone else does
so please come around and clear up all the fuzz.

There should be room enough in our hearts to house Thee
which is the one place out of all where You should really be.
If crowded with too many desires to find a comfortable place there
please show us how to get rid of them and take a very special care

to instill that one desire and longing for God which is necessary
for us all to realise and attain the goal of life throughout eternity.
All the sacred scriptures of the world proclaim the One Eternal Truth,
being man's duty to realise his unity with God and dependence in sooth.
_________