"horney" poems
I don't know how many bottles of beer
I have consumed while waiting for things
to get better
I dont know how much wine and whisky
and beer
mostly beer
I have consumed after
splits with women-
waiting for the phone to ring
waiting for the sound of footsteps,
and the phone to ring
waiting for the sounds of footsteps,
and the phone never rings
until much later
and the footsteps never arrive
until much later
when my stomach is coming up
out of my mouth
they arrive as fresh as spring flowers:
"what the hell have you done to yourself?
it will be 3 days before you can **** me!"
the female is durable
she lives seven and one half years longer
than the male, and she drinks very little beer
because she knows its bad for the figure.
while we are going mad
they are out
dancing and laughing
with horney cowboys.
well, there's beer
sacks and sacks of empty beer bottles
and when you pick one up
the bottle fall through the wet bottom
of the paper sack
rolling
clanking
spilling gray wet ash
and stale beer,
or the sacks fall over at 4 a.m.
in the morning
making the only sound in your life.
beer
rivers and seas of beer
the radio singing love songs
as the phone remains silent
and the walls stand
straight up and down
and beer is all there is.
44.3k
yahoo
its a road trip
she did the chicken head dance
hips swayed
like an evangelist of the lascivious
slicky, sticky, dicky
happily sicky
deep throat swallow
flooding her gullet
with spits, spats and waterfalls
for 300 gooey miles
like a Deer at a salt lick
to horney to send picture post cards
and her mouth sparkled
a regurgitating anthem of love
and a billion solar immolations
in the great
howling milky way roadtrip
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 2:04 PM UTC
Hate the holidays well I got one for you.
Dont have to follow no rules.
Just drink till ya drop.
To what's the ocassion still ya
havent a clue.
Hey there missy.
dont **** and moan just grab a pint
ya big *****
No need for a kleenex just wipe that blood off
on your sleeve.
Stoner slacker and poets unite for
it's Thanksgiving Eve.
No need to hang anything by the
chimney with care.
But it is a party so lets see your underwear.
Lets beat the holiday blues.
Hey who's drunk and horney?
Short skirts and thoose high heel shoes.
Crank that jukebox hey grandpa theres
no need to leave.
Cause everyone is included on Thanksgiving eve.
Hey amigo if we play are cards right.
we can stir enough **** to see a chick fight.
Hey whats going on upstairs God only knows.
It's not cheating just wrestling without any
clothes.
Hey who just cut a whole in the floor?
hey grandpa ya better watch that exotic woman
your dancing with.
Cause she's a woman with a little more.
Hey ya'll the cops are coming along with a swat
team so it's my cue to leave.
but like that fat ***** in a red suit I'll
return to bring ya another great Thanksgiving Eve.
Nov 25, 2009
Nov 25, 2009 at 8:21 AM UTC
Please excuse me,
as I take a chance
to try and con the ones who have conecended us.
As I slide down
my verbal pole of innocence.
Slithering, crawling, hungry and horney.
Strutting around the club,
looking for fame,
so I can give him a lap dance
and go down on HIStory.
You told me to pick a card
& I chose the Star.
One day, Some day,
I will outshine all of your darkness.
I met fate at a strip club.
We're all diamonds, just some of us are in the rough.
IT GET'S BETTER.
Mar 16, 2012
Mar 16, 2012 at 4:07 PM UTC
Ever see two sappy ****** in the a park holding hands no ******* clue there on the verge of sugar coated
insanity that twisted mind **** known as love.
Yeah you ignore all the warnings of sanity ***** it im in love!
You just cant get enough of each other you **** like two rabbits
and it's perfect but thats never good enough the way it is.
Oh **** no cause then after you sample ya gotta commit and unlike suicide
there isnt a happy ending.
Then one of you starts to wonder hey ya think are they cheating?
Well if they are tahn im sure as hell going to!
Like two kids you have to out do the other.
Hey I ****** your sister!
Yeah well I ****** your brother and your ******** cousin.
Yeah now it makes sense why he's been so dam happy.
Love is the poisen that ***** up the pie children like it or not it is.
It's like the sober ***** at the party who usedto be fun till he found Jesus
or some other superhero and wants to tell you how better his life is now.
When all truth the guy wants to crack you over the head steal your beer
but his head between a pair of big tit's and say **** being sober lets drink till we hit the floor.
Yeah sure you may think Im a ***** and that love is everything thjat makes this marble roll.
Yeah and if thats so Santa Claus is coming to town and he's bringin Elvis and Tupac and there
gonna have ******** with Lady Ga Ga While Scooby Doo films it.
Love does exist of course.
Sure I see the old farts who been togather for so long they dont even have to tell
each other how much they dislike the other.
Love is a moment nothing more.
And like red wine in the hand of some old lush you just pray
it doesnt get spilled on the carpet cause it's hell to get out.
But for the young and horney out there enjoy the fun that happens befor that
std kicks in cause kids sometimes love hurts and really ****** burns.
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 5, 2011 at 3:31 PM UTC
When one thinks of ****** desires,
how does one's mind tumble....
Does it think of love or raw ***
Does it think of the past or future....
Does the mind play tricks that lead to hurt..
Does the mind fantasize of the one you can't have.....
****** desires?
Where do they start?
The mind or the pants?
Could it be a smell?
Could it be a look?
Could it be a word?
Could it just be the heat of the moment?
All and all your probly just horney.
Because for the most part it usually turns out to be a selfish act.
As soon as one of the two get off, it's done.
How boring!!!!!!!!!!!
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 5:17 AM UTC
made me
So horney and gifted
I lifted a tune
Which lit the moon
now your waters obey me
Bath me with light
my imperfect iridescence
to slither through fertile crescent
Such twisted insight
yet adorned in the shadow of night
This hunger for mor ning
star
my clandestine appetite.
I wander not lost
but sea rching,
est u aries mi
Jane tap sap
Sens u al it y
because I lick you
and your
***** pha lang ease
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 7:15 PM UTC
TEARS ARE FALLING
FROM MY EYES
ALL BECAUSE OF
YOUR STUPID LIE
I HEARD FROM
YOUR FRIEND
"THE SNITCH" THAT YOU WERE
WITH OTHER ***** SO KISS MY ***
SAY GOODBYE
HOPE YOU DIE
GO TO HELL
YOU STUPID ***** AND TAKE YOUR HORNEY ****
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 3:51 AM UTC
The hp deathstar had all but sqaushed are rebellion.
And the pub falcon was being looked for parked in front of everycyber bar across the net so it really ****** cause capt Gonzo
was really thirsty.
We had taken refuge on endor for awhile untill
thoose fury bastards got pissed over a simple misunderstanding
they sure were some horney little teddy bears .
In thinking over were to hide there was mention
of eurainus to which I replied.
Get your mind outta the gutter man.
you just said eurainus.
Cp bathsebo and R2 Swanson said s0mething to which
I jokingly replied hush the men are talking once wasnt to smart.
Ever been kick to the grown by a steel high heel shoe
hopefully the numbness will wear off.
Master golden had taught me much
but that was many drinks ago.
How am i supposed to remember that far back
yesterday was a blur.
So **** it lets kick his *** already jack skyhorner said.
Darth Elliot was mighty the battle was hell.
I would have joined in but someone had to rob the liqour
cabinet besides Honzo Gonzo a bit of a hangover.
As the stormtroppers aproached screamed like a 13 year old girl and ran to fire up the pub falcon.
As the others said what about jack I said im sorry but he's gone
it was brutle i took out as many as could.
But Jack would want us to move on.
Just then Jack appeared and said nice scream gonz.
We blasted across the gallaxy with no direction cause ya know
how guys are about asking for directions.
Fully stocked and and reloaded so to speak.
Drath Elliot was amighty foe.
But no match for the outcast girly screaming
Capt Gonzo
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 23, 2010 at 1:45 PM UTC
No matter who i love
*** is a hunger.
when your hungry you eat.
when your horney you ***
and ive fallen in love
before ***
during ***
after ***
in a minute im sure..
to a person ive known or now know.
and guess what:
everyone ive ever loved ive loved.
everyone ive ever fukd ive fukd.
and both are a hunger
of which im unfulfilled.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 2:45 AM UTC
*if i dine you and wine you
take you to a movie
open your door
will you spend the night
she then just tells me
fast food, HBO
and lets go to bed
I'm horney as hell*
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 12:59 AM UTC
Aye think o this
When winter breezes blaws aroun'
whare silent thochts are filled wae gloom
and drifting words,they echo past
frae fearful man an fearful lass
In haunted hooses and misty lans
whare Ghosties an gobblins an unco bans
Pass atween this an theirs, that form
amidst tha thunders crashing storm.
Aye tucked up aroun yeer mithers apron
wae teeth a nashing an voices wailing
Fine ye ken this unhaly nicht
tis filled wae all unGodly licht
Craw tha Banshee frae tha Ben
like howlet song throughoot tha Glen.
Satan, Auld horney casts his lots
for innocent bairnies fresh frae their cots
An' ancient stories there arise an fly
Like shooting stars that fill tha sky
for here in tales tha croonies dae rattle
in haunting airs and fiendish battle
leagons arise tae tha masters calling
This nicht hell awakens, aahhh tha heevens are falling.
Here in blackened darkened skies
whare lichtning flashes weaves an cries
An mortal man fears fa his soul
against that heelish burning coal
Ministers intae their beds are fleeing
wae ranting verses fa all their Dealing.
Whare auld worn hags an witches cast
upon tha waters that blaw an blast
drooning mony tha ship an sailor
all fa tha glory O their Demonic tailor
when cauldrens stir in bubbling brews
An damnation demands its richtful dues
tha lan' it heaves and haws
devouring all within its jaws
A Blood red Moon casts her lot
whare evil men have Died an fought
tha Earth auld an worn frae tribulation
demands the blood of every nation.
Here within the fields o life
brither against brither in war an strife
hae released all this fiendish nightmare
fa all their guilt,fa all they share
Alisdaire O'Caoimph
Mar 21, 2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 8:05 AM UTC
***** pills and that naughty no no known as drugs
hell if you do anything your addict ever see the sobber ******
down at the local mall?
Kids screaming wife bitching you catch the eyes of the so called
happy bastard who looks like one more scream laced cry
is gonna make him flip and create some drama for the evening news .
Yeah happiness sure smells like misery to me.
Id rather drink and **** till I fall out dead than
live the dream that looks more like a nightmare.
Taking pills not to strangle some misreble ***** to death.
Meanwhile she's greezing your brakes trying to to talk ya in to going to see the grand cannyon.
Ever been there?
Yeah a big *** ditch with a bunch of annoying picture taking ******
yeah i'll snap a pic of ya okay step back ,back okay like a few more steps well ya fell of the ledge ya silly ********
Guess it's cool to keep the camera.
Ive been to scores seems the sights were more dam grand and
the drinks a hell of alot better.
Ever wake up to the dam TV blaring some early morning
horse ****
Some dam annoying tiny voiced ******* talkin to the kids.
Look they got the net they get knocked up and make a show about it
something tells me you can cut the ******* act.
16 and pregnant wow what genius more like when
horney bastards attack hey heres a brainstorm
birth control not that some over emotional half wit
doesnt need a kid hell cant wait to see thoose offsprings
hey mom wanna go on a double date to the prom?
Happiness it cost to dam much and love will give ya
heart burn.
Feb 7, 2011
Feb 7, 2011 at 4:54 PM UTC
Yesterday's tomorrow was today, and then
the devil sneezed so I told her: 'god bless,'
and she looked at me like she ain't impressed.
But she bought me a beer and then said:
"tell your guardian angel to wait outside,"
as she started massaging my pride.
She knows that I buried god years ago,
right after I stuffed that angel's mouth full
of my personally-sharpened family jewels.
Horney devil,
swallow your forked tongue
right after you're done
lapping up my ***
Lovely angel,
sorry for cutting you up
while you sat patiently
waiting in stirrups.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 6:48 PM UTC
Life is a race
never to be erazed
life is a journey
filled with bitter and horney
it is a scripture packed with
load's of picture
life is a bus driving down the
road to our future
it is the proof of our existence
the measure of our prominence
it is a gift from the creator
one with no superior
life
life is beautifull
as beautifull as the blooming
of a rose flower
life
life is good.
Nov 24, 2012
Nov 24, 2012 at 6:37 AM UTC
I said
HEY
**** BEARER
HURRY UP
WITH THE CLEANING
THERE'S DISHES NEEDIN TO GET DONE !
...
And
I GOT SOME FRIENDS COMIN OVER
SO REST UP
SOME OF EM MIGHT BE HORNEY
AND THEY LIKE YA
SO BE READY--
----
She said
Ya know
I'm gettin tired a this!
I ain't gonna take it for more than
Another decade or two!
--
GEEZ
I said
Ya musta been readin them liberated
Kids on hello poetry!
They only take abuse two
Maybe three
Years at most
Before movin on ta
Another abuser !
She started cryin
Said she wouldn't read it any more
And begged for forgiveness
I didn't give her none
It woulda just confused her
Bein a mere
**** bearer
Ya know
May 11, 2013
May 11, 2013 at 9:15 PM UTC
he watched her excitedly
eat **** shaped food
especially eclairs
as she languidly tongued
the white buttercream
from the sides of her mouth
thinking of her
his masturbations
powered the lights
of the Catskills
it wasn't just his profession
it was his obsession
just another horney
borsht belt gynecologist
Dec 8, 2020
Dec 8, 2020 at 4:01 PM UTC
Steady and slow.
pace your self down the hall.
smile from ear to ear.
they'll never figure out that everything is wrong.
whisper in one coner from girl to girl
then girl to guy
then guy to guy
Your the talk of the halls
hell that's where your at
where the mean girls and horney guys are the devil
Where lies come to feed and grow
never ending
life's hell
rightfully angry at the world
understandably wanting to leave
but fight because life not worth dying for
so young.
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 10:33 PM UTC
Hungry
Thirsty
Starving
Craving
Needing
Desiring
Coveting
Indulging
Enabling
Happy
Sad
Angry
Mad
Horney
Lonely
Pathetic
*****
Spread to thin
Busy
Jumpy
Cluttered
Smashed
Thrashed
Dead
Asleep
Stagnate
Envious
Jealous
Greedy
Bad
Sinful
Destructive
Wasteful
Deceitful
Self absorbed
Liar
Tall
Small
Honest
Docile
Loving
Constipated
Shaking
Quivering
Sick
Tired
Faithful
Habitual
Stubborn
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 4:51 PM UTC
Got alot ta think about,
19 dealin wit the **** grown folks stressin bout
I got the only girl whos right for me, I'ma stay davought
Baby on the way ima be a father an im proud
But growin up without parents got me scared now
How, do I raise a baby when my role models taught me the hustle
I dont need help to make it I was born with the brains of a genius
Product of a cupple horney teenagers
Questions in my head if I let em see my child
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017 at 7:26 PM UTC
You're a sick ****** I can't take my spam cans away when I winch that I a ******* dwarf that wobbles when I pluck my pringles from the cat's *** Fuu-huh-huck-too. I spat that kid that stole my ******* bib hurt my holler strings and caused me to chaufe. I use ecstacy are you horney. I'm so horney. will you rub my feet ***** yes or no? **** yes, you're youth reaks of fermeldahide, holla. I'd holla back straps because blow job Better still have her one tooth to crunch frozen corn off-the crop because I sold my microwave for crack ******* and hungry ***** coookurs, thier hookers bae. I love me. I love you, that's your krusty ********** Poochie ****
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 5:17 PM UTC
Suffering from multiple personalities,
taking a job as janitor is a research lab
when exposed to radioactive toxins, he
blacks hallucinating, bringing all of the
hidden personalities out at once - thus
turning a social misfit into the several
heroes known as Team Ego...none of
whom are aware of the others existence;
as one hero after another chases down
various villains, none of whom are aware
each hero they fight is the same man
is a different costume; the police also
unaware that the highly coordinated
team of heroes is one & the same man,
now working as a janitor in police
headquarters & fighting crime by night
& days off. As himself he begins to date
a girl with mild Down Syndrome
who also doesn't suspect that her bf
is the same as the several super heroes.
The Super Ego: domineering risk-taker.
The Shadow: stealthy mystery-man.
Anima: a seductive female spy.
Animus: macho thinker & fist-fighter.
Id: super-strength endowed brawler.
Psyche: female master martial artist...
Eros [Psyche's partner, although
never seen together]; has the power
to turn love into hate & vice versa...
Anna Horney; the therapist who tries
to integrate the several personalities.
***** Envy: arch-villain who drugs
men & castrates them stealing their
***** Libido: Villainess arousing
people to commit crimes, is secretly
a rogue member of Team Ego...
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 9:28 PM UTC
while being a man eater
she preferred
to be eaten
like a ***** bride for a vampyre
cleanse us from all unrighteousness
she liked her ****
bruised as beaten apples
with scorched *******
perforated with the needles
still glimmering in her areolas
oozing small rivulets of blood
as if alters to a weird mythic Jesus
do unto others
she spread her haunches wide
and knelt in supplication
her **** and glistening **** presented
for the scythe and whipping slick ******
let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace
she imagined
her body like a dirigible
exploding in mid air
her hands caressed her lush *****
with rabid fingers
like a woodpecker on amphetamines
girding an unlocked cage
of wet smeared lips
for this is my blood of the covenant
her **** drooled
as if a thousand baby tongues
dripped for a teasing tickling blade
knotty hung ***** and sagging *****
on the way to a glorious ascension
hard is the path to God
her life more dissolute
than *** **** videos
a rich lady languishing
with a growling animal inside her
and gold enough for life
but not too rich to bleed
extravagant tears of flaming petals
while licking devils *****
and being eaten and ******
from **** hole to gut
in a bottomless rusty bathtub
by a pantheon of fiends
*come now, let us reason together, shes a horney *****
in her own rem noir dark city
of obsidian dreams
she woke up happy as a jitterbug
and full of grace
her cunty fingers tasted extra ******
and slippery as melted butter
beware
watch out for the boiling red eye
and the hillbilly keep out sign
Jul 25, 2021
Jul 25, 2021 at 12:45 PM UTC