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abecedarian Jan 2018
rite like Dylan/past the point of no return

all my life wanted to rite just once like Dylan.

but too set in the errors of my way to complement/compliment a master of the phrase, the original tunes I hum’em all
plagued and plagiarized and yet pleasing

head the Head over to the refrigerator, arrive in one piece,
but totally not remembering why I came this way,
cause i am way way past the point of no return

Oh yeah oh yeah cool brother Corona light to succor the soul,
while roasting body slow in a lavender bubble bath and it ain’t
even noon and no no room for company, this solo wonder-boy
tripping alone

pay my bills in the bath, winnow the widow-maker reading list,
good ****** on a free sundaey and there ain’t no football to watch and autocorrect authority don’t like ****** it only godded one D, as if He needs two D’s to mess us up better

the Corona doing magic trick disappearing so fast and here i am
certified past the point of return and there ain’t no more beer
in the general vicinity

so now the time to summarize my little darlings;
don’t break beer bottles in the bathroom,
don’t pay your bills in the bathtub when u gots 53.42 in cking,
don’t take your iPhone unsheathed into the same vicinity

all you will be left with is maxed out cc’s,
messes you want
not to tangle with,
brain leavings of a bad poem half write,
it isn’t even bad dylan mimicry
but confirmation you passed the point of no return

and u happy hum
don’t think twice it’s alright
it is all on my cover photo
Graham Nolan Mar 2012
Inertia the process of doing nothing

Contradiction the art of jumping intellectual rope

Intellectualism the active engagement in educated debate

Spinning the result of which is dizziness

Dizziness a state of uncertainty

Debating the conversational to and fro

Art is conversation nothing more

Conversation a non productive but necessary social engagement

Formal education

Relative information specificity

Consider the ****** lilies

Consideration Debate Intelligence Conversation Inertia
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
I once stood upon the threshold of madness
looking in upon a city of wasted limbs
and batwing eyelashes crusted with tears
flung like sapphires from Tiresias eyes.

How now Great Baron of Lust do
you justify the endless legions of lonely
life sick suicides and the saints burning
upon grotesque piles of dollars brightly?

So much sacrificed and sold in the land of
plenty, mana falling from supermarket shelves
and young girls getting ****** in the ***
by sycophantic strangers full of malt liquor
in the backseats of gestating vehicles
screaming in pleasure because the pain
is the only ****** thing that makes sense.

There is a place and a time for writing
of green fields and summer days
life in Technicolor and flowers abounding
kisses sweeter than the purest nectar
and true love that only ever comes once
in a thousand years of birth and rebirth.

This is not that place and it is not this time.

Bought white carnations and a cheap vase from
the shell of a Winn-Dixie to give to a friend I'd
like to love and know that I won't because on my
bad days I ******* in a torn easy chair to forget
drunk on liquor and memories of a love
writing **** in her own blood on a bruised thigh
that had seen too much of a thing called hate.

I have no illusions about what I am or
where I come from and why I churn out
this scathing miasma of filth and shame
directed to the powers that be sitting
supposedly quiet and content on their
thrones built from infant's starved skins
and the backbones of all those nameless
and forgotten proles ******* down cheap
gin and 305's morning noon and night.

Build them then ye cowering babes in suits
those monuments to the all powerful phallus
conqueror of that mysterious prize virginity
stealing innocence and penetrating the veneer
of perfect femininity that you fear will steal your
shriveled testicles if you don't strike first.

****** you captains of business and human capital
profiteers of human suffering and human
fears that can be turned against we weak
chattel stumbling ever onward to the chopping block.

****** you whatever your name is
that slithers into peoples wet dreams in
the middle of the night to whisper horror
and abuse propagating the will to violence
against innocents because of some half-forgotten
past full of parents and ****** and smashed dreams.

**** me whenever you like but know this:
I WILL NEVER SUBMIT
Jon Shierling Jul 2013
It caught me off guard, this sudden feeling of loss, this sense that something beautiful was gone forever. I didn't know what to do with it, this overwhelming idea that now, out of neglect or shame or starvation, a work of art had withered away into nothing.
I suppose that I'm beginning to understand that the world isn't a narrative, it's not a story by an author with a plot and a hero.
This is the essential fallacy taught to children with a streak of the hopeless romantic in them:
the desperate belief that somewhere out there is a place for people who live their lives waiting for King Arthur instead of Jesus.

And even now, with every word comes the terrifying truth that my babbling is going to change absolutely nothing, not a single atom is going to **** an electron on the completion.
I won't feel better, the situation won't change, you the reader aren't going to say EUREKA!!!! at the end of it, so what's the point?

Expression, that is the point of it, and to be be completely blunt about it all, I hope some one I love and admire will read this and say the typical things that are said when people are honest on public forums. Do I have a point? No, not really.
So what do I do with this loss, this empty fireplace in my soul?

I drink and smoke and **** it away, stay so busy that I don't have time to consider it, this knowledge that the fire has gone out. How typical of me, how unoriginal and bourgeoise to write another ode to the trials of the individual.
Who am I to feel loss and pain when my stomach is full and my needs are met?
Aren't I another servant of economic output?
Should I not donate time and money to a cause more worthy of respect than a withering example of excessive individualism such as myself?

No, and what's more, ******* society, ******* for taking away the only haven I ever had: my head. ******* for marketing my imagination,
for inventing a bunch of ******* about responsibility for the greater good,
for poisoning the little freedom I do have with feelings of uselessness.

And most especially ******* for your greatest crime of all;
implanting this feeling of guilt whenever I do anything with my own well-being in mind.
You have created a system that perpetuates itself on shame and output,
you have killed the desire to create for it's own sake.

*******, and I'm going to unplug from you if it's the last ****** thing I ever do.
matt nobrains Apr 2012
sauntry and sultry,
a fraudulent check written
in a moment of disclarity.
if you've got a bridge to sell
I'm buying.
I've got stakes on this land,
broken with till,
seeded with pain,
nourished with blood,
razed, salted, travesty, and sown again.
a faulty playpen snaps shut on a toddler,
a man trips over his Pekingese
and puts his hand in his brand new
20% off buy two get one blendtec
brand blender,
showering his mother in law
with shards of wrist bone
and strips of lacerated flesh.
this is my foot.
these are my fingers, broken,
distal, intermediate, and proximal
phalanges.
these are the carpal and metacarpals.
I am a Spartan of a shitshack.
I was trained in the wicked art of
long arduous bowel movements.
squeeze one out for the ones you love.
in some small musty room
in new York city
there is a cocknballs paying $200
to get ****** on
by a wombwalker
and thinking about his ******
Pekingese.
you know its true.
don't try to think too hard about it
or you might lose an eye.
Jon Shierling Dec 2014
Ain't it what it mean when a girl
tell you she like you an all she
really mean is she wan you to **** her?

Is that what I'm really scared of?

Am I writing garbage, still awake
at 5:23 in the ****** morning,
worried about what kind of a man I am?

Do I wake up and go to work,
with this secret fear that
all my beliefs and all my hopes
amount to jack ****** ****?

You bet your *** I do,
because I was taught and accepted
a long time ago that love
has jack **** to do with who you
are, and everything to do
with how well you ****.
Nat Lipstadt Jan 2014
Bus poems are shorties written on the way home,
riding the M31 thru Manhattan. Often silly, often not...

There is a contest that does not involve my P.S.F.
(Preferred Sport Franchise) this weekend,
truly don't give a good ****** who wins,
but that is no excuse to deny me my sir sore-losing,
victim status,
so richly deserved.

A triumvirate of doctor, g.f. and medical tests,
have on the field ruled,
once a year, a conjugal visit permitted,
tween my arteries and chicken wings.

there will pigs in blankets demanding attention,
potato knishes, and cole slaw juices,  and a
foreign dignitary, Sayyid Cous-Cous,
lining up along side the quarterback  who will be
'winging' honey and spicy passes to his favorite receiver,
this couch coach and impartial observer.

This is my Sunday fare.
If insufficiently highbrow,
for all you poetic aesthetes,
have no fear,
this athlete gastronomic,,
victim of his victuals,
will prepare mentally
by hanging with King Lear once more,
sharing a verbal tasting menu,
the day prior,
who once called me,
at a Giant super bowl party,

“A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a
base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,
hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a
lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,
glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a
bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but
the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,
and the son and heir of a mongrel *****: one whom I
will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest
the least syllable of thy addition.”*
― William Shakespeare, King Lear
Not my finest, but you try and write standing up in an overheated bus
on the potholes they call streets in my city. As for King Lear, I still think he was just a verbose, whiny, sore losing Boston fan
Nat Lipstadt Feb 2016
~~~

Jan 31, 2014

Victuals Victim


There is a contest this day,
that does not involve my P.S.F.
(Preferred Sport Franchise)

truly, don't give a good ****** who wins,
but that is no excuse to deny me
my victim status,
my Sir Sore Loser demeanor,
so poorly,
in season's long suffering
earned,
so richly,
undeserved.

A triumvirate of
Doctor, G.F. and battery
of medically intrusive tests,
have ruled on the field,
that but once a year,
a conjugal visit permitted,
tween my arteries and chicken wings,
is legally permissive.

there will pigs in blankets
oinking, demanding attention,
sliders and mini right sized,
bite sized potato knishes
(at least in New York City)
cole slaw juices,  
even a
foreign dignitary,
Sayyid Cous-Cous,
all lining up along side
the quarterback  
who will be slinging
'winging' honey and spicy passes
to his favorite receiver,
this couch coach
and today's impartial line judge.

This is my Super Sunday fare,
antithesis of a pre-Day of Atonement fasting meal.
where gluttony
is deemed
less than kosher

If insufficiently highbrow,
for all you poetic aesthetes,
have no fear,
this athlete gastronomic,,
victim of his victuals,
will prepare mentally
to reverse course afterwards,
by hanging out
with King Lear yet once more,
sharing a verbal tasting menu fare,
a recollection of a prior years repast,
this King,
an unrepentant Manchester man-fan,
who knew me too well,
and once condemned me,
after an historic NY Giants Super Bowl celebratory,
sadly,
all too many years ago,
as follows:

"A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats;
a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,
hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave;
a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,
glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave;
one that wouldst be a bawd,
in way of good service, and art nothing but
the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,
and the son and heir of a mongrel *****:
one whom I
will beat into clamorous whining,
if thou deniest
the least syllable of thy addition.”


― William Shakespeare, King Lear

~~~

Feb. 2, 2014

My leash is on,
I am to be walked


ad melius parare hominem,
to better prepare man,
before the coma of wings and a super sized
spectacle
tackles, invades and overtakes,
his nation's soul.


by the East River
will I be perambulated,
following 
each lying-down,
pedestrian drawning of a chalk figure,
directing the course
of a river walk
drawn and quartered
just for me.

chatting to the gulls
re the river's latest delicacies,

comparing my upcoming menu
for overlapping interest,
while praying the bicyclists,
on my body,
have tender mercies.

because I will,
all the walking while
be silently recording poems,

to tribute the international nation
of poets and the
global sport of
poetry,
that knows no leagues,
or geographic
delineations.

~~~

Feb 5, 2014

leftover chicken wings and other love nonsense

the woman disregards
what's best for me,
instead, gives me with the
kindest of disregards,
what's best for me,
for this is the kindness
that hallmark stamps
upon the softened heart,
the long lasting kind
of kind

before your childlike
tap tap attention away-wains,
bring you this,
a treatise,
on leftover chicken wings
and other nonsensical
finger food additions,
purposed
to inspire, to find innovation,
in expressing, reclaiming and newly exclaiming
that miscreant four letter word,
£0V€
that appears in those unsilent majority,
99% of them, other entrants
the Bohème poèmes,
residing in our Mr. Roger's neighborhood

in some poem writ recent,
poet pontificated,
that the most overused words, yes,
those abused three,
(duh, I love you)
degraded by overuse,
lost their poetic juice
thru constant repetition,
almost being nearly boringly indecent,
even when
boldly italicized

the impact upon the reader
lives in the lies in the realm of
"oh yeah, that's nice"

far, far better
to be best in show,
deduce how renewed,
to meaty demonstrate
rather than
insistently remonstrate,
in newer ways,
every day
that grade A choice
sentiment

to say, par example,
that serving day old chicken wings means,
well,
you know what...

Some get tea and oranges,
me, I get cherished
when our repast is
twice recast,
when she feeds me
leftover chicken wings,
both kinds,
spiced and honey
that come all the way
from her heart

so, now do you know why
Silly
has two L's?

Correct.
(answer: lucky in love)

for the luck-river-runs
lie just neath
the silliness currents swirling,
where kissing knuckles unexpectedly,
******* the exhausted,
tucking them in,
going out for emergency ice cream
in the midst of a
polar vortex,
recording the game to wee hour watch later,
so she may hang with the notorious outlaw
"Downtown Abbey Gang,"
watching at the
proper English place and time,
leaving the celebrating of life's  leftovers,
for the morrow sup,
with chicken wings and 0
other things
reheated,
and other heartfelt,
but unhealthy,
warm heartening
food additions

that folks,
is how you write
a poem in deed,
one that will be returned to you
sevenfold
in reads

when you want to explain how,
you can, truly, sigh,
you know,
love another...
employing with decoying,
sinful, leftover chicken  wings
then you too be mastering,
the poetic life
of sonnet and song

~~~
all three posted here on the specified dates and modestly edited,
on this day,
in anticipation of a winged revival
this hallowed eve of
two seven sixteen
Sukanya Basu Nov 2012
Hurrying...pacing fast the time...
Can you hear my beats..its so **** loud!
What my time would be of value..
Standing on the mount of death....
****** **** me...beat me with a cane!
Do something, just don't leave me insane!
Cops crowding my doorway to listen to some ****!
Nothing, just those insominate fools!
I have also been through dark alleys
And the dead bodies have also been carried..
But have i cut my neck and fed it to the birds?
Trust me, this world is an opportunity not a curse!
Maybe you'll not be in a mt. Rushmore head
But yes...you'll get 10% of it...
To make your parents proud
With sweat and blood they cried out loud!
Just not to see you in the mount of death....
Just take a step ahed.......black.
Nat Lipstadt Jul 2014
The truth is I never cottoned to that name, no sir, no how. Maybe it was a reference to the Dead Poets movie, which is now just an old teen movie.

Maybe it had to do with all the troubles you seen in your life, and that bad part was dead and over.  Ok that I understand.  But you can write about it, but if you really gonna claim you left it behind, which by the way! you have, the name keeps bring it up fresh and that is just plain sad and makes me madder than hell.  

Even still I always say oh look its the
Deed Poet
writing me about a a life and a world, I got no clue about in a way I could never do, don't got the  heart, the eyes to see the  way you do brother.  Yup.  You just misspelled it Ded and Not Deed, cause you write on a stupid smartphone in the dark and is that any way to write beautiful poetry, dummy?

But I don't like pretending though I do it plenty, but comes along a day, a thing, don't know what to call it any more, and I said to myself,
Deed Poet, that's like making his mistake permanent, and I don't like that.  

So I cast about for a new name for you, for what is a man and a friend for, but to make sure the world knows you for who your are...so with out further ado, addoo, adoo, I aint sure I know how you write that word, but what I am sure is from now on I am gonna address you sir as the
Unbreakable Poet.

don't like it? Too **** bad. That is what you are, and that is what you will be now and forever, *******! don't go arguing with me, cause I am close to blubbering as it is...tried to write some poem which half started ain't half bad, no, it is yo totally awful, so I quit it in the middle and instead I am gonna throw back at you your own words,
for none, bar none, coulda said it better...
so I don't give a good ****** if you change it or not, cause I already done the tinkering in my head to make it so...

Your wisdom is massive,
But I see your invisible signals,
And I know you fill the emptied heart.

I am Poet for you,
And the words will be eternal,
As you have stayed in all the hollow
Places of your children.

Live as an endless nebula,
Birthing stars in a prophetic vigil,
My stainless blood, immortal,
You live on in the tears on my window....

Sustaining me.


P.S. Let get that mentor ***** put to bed, I am ready to take lessons from you!
---------------------
Unbreakable Poet

he keeps company with a
society of the living,
such is,
as it should be,
tho an ancient order,
t'is composed of only his
breathing brethren

he orbits in a special galaxy,
as we all so do,
one sun amongst many,
but in this, his cluster,
no scientist can well predict,
his trajectory, his course,
or any of us
whose company
we keep,
but one company,
we are,
one company,
near and dear

but he errs grievous
if he thinks,
his universe is but
an isolated fragment,
a world slipping into darkness


He is much mistaken

the one moon we share
rises nightly
in different shapes, mystic always
but
it is
Unbreakable,
Forever True,
it is there as long
as poets like him
make it so.

make it so.
for the man , for the man

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/772173/unbreakable/

"The DedPoet  4 hours ago
Better. It was the moment i was angriest in yhe hospital and looking at my daughter. She had no seem me yet. I didnt know what to expect, then she smiled at me and simply said "Hello Daddy".
I melted within myself, crying, then smiling.
I realised I'm not that killer anymore.
I saw a new man, a new beginning, and I saw the rest of my life, All with her two little words."
Avery Greensmith Dec 2014
stop comparing me to the sun,
i like the stars better,
stop texting me at 3 am,
i'm actually trying to get sleep now.
stop quoting that ****** song
i've already thrown away that CD.
stop trying to break your way
in through the cracks in my skin
and stop trying to push me back
into the ocean, it's the winter, and
you know i don't want to swim.
please stop talking to my friends
because they want to hear from you
even less.
you came into our lives and broke a
few hearts and smashed a few bowls.
i don't need to back to stop my breathing,
because everytime you start to talk
i start to shake, and
shaking leads to screaming at 4 am
when you've stopped texting already.
anyways, you can't see the sun at
3 am, only the stars,
so why are you trying to get
a sun tan then?
you're a ******* idiot because the only thing that gives you a sun tan is the sun, but you're too afraid of getting a sunburn
Saudade Saudade Jul 2014
There was once a famous painter who, to express his love for a woman, cut his own ear off and sent it to her. We all know the story. Even I, a pretty eccentric and extreme person myself, thinks that's way too extreme. but hey, nothing says I Love You like a ****** chunk of cartage stuffed in an envelope right?

A couple days ago you told me to do something that scares the **** out of me, at least once everyday. No, I didn't cut my ear off or anything like that. lol. but that night I sat and thought about things that frighten me but to no avail. I wouldn't say I'm fearless, but I'm a person who enjoys taking risks and prides himself on surviving the most horrific experiences. There aren't many things in this world that rattle me. I'm not superstitious, I have no interest in what others think about me, and pain is only temporary. Well, Physical pain. Pain of a more emotional variety can last. Years even. An intangible, constricting weight of question. A couple thousand needles of "What if?". A potent venom of repeating "I wish". The things that spread your eyelids apart in the middle of the night. When you tell your body "No." When you squeeze your pillow and mumble to your own thoughts "No, don't you dare wander to that place." When you plead with yourself to forget.

Nights like this are the reason why I find it hard to write you, the nights where I don't sleep, can't sleep until I write you and even though most times I don't send the messages, (Or they get sent to you accidently baha) I'm gonna send this one to you. Because it scares the **** out of me.

Starting is the hardest part. It's been probably forty five minutes since I've started the occasional ritual of tossing my bed covers aside and pacing around my room tenderly as if I'm scanning the ground for the words I need, as if I could just pick them right up and hand them to you. However, I always find nothing. I skip every other step on the way down to the computer and sit gingerly in my lame floral chair, watching my cursor blink against your empty message box. It speaks to me. "Blink type something ****** Blink." After a few minutes of typing and erasing and typing and erasing I thought "This is stupid." Then I remembered the story about the painter. It made me think. People have always done stupid things for love. Sure, I'd be embarrassed and vulnerable and possibly even having you meet me with a spine shattering "sigh", "This is getting old." or even have "What is the ****** point?" hammering my morning thoughts. But Hey, At least I'm not mutilating myself.

Well. I tend to beat around the bush a lot, but at this rate I'm just stepping on the twigs. Dancing on the torn leaves and such. I'll stop. I have some things I want to tell you.

I won't let my guilt stop me from saying what I want to say this time as I've done many times in the the past. I think that's what holds me back, the guilt? Whatever.. I mean you're over it, I should be too. I know you're over me too, but that won't stop me either. Des, I miss you. I miss your voice. The medicine in your laugh, the discipline in your scowl. The way that we'd talk all through the night till one of us unked it. The several stones that would plop in my stomach when I would get a text from 'Desire Deslonchamps', Your french *** name (It's so **** btw) I miss the armada of butterflies roosting on my ribs whenever you'd tell me you adored me. I miss our conversations, you have always reached higher than anyone else I have ever talked to intellectually and I mean that quite literally. it baffles me how no matter who else I was with, they were never good enough. That I was always comparing them to you, and thinking "Des wouldn't have said that." or "Des would have loved this more." No one is as funny or talkative or as tender or as wild as you. I would stuff every single one of those girls in a shredder just for even 5 minutes with you.

I look through your pictures all the time, I feel like a teenager sifting dreamily through a magazine looking at some chiseled, oiled up celebrity that doesn't even know she exists. I read everything you post, I worry when you seem sad, I laugh when you laugh. Everytime Facebook tells me you've uploaded and new picture I always go look and end up sighing like a ***** maiden. Excuse the metaphor but it's true. haha.

A couple days ago, when you were telling me about your ex, for a second I kind of thought you were talking about me... and I got so excited, I really thought that you still felt for me and that maybe I hadn't completely lost it and that you weren't jaded or whatever, but when you showed me what you actually did write him, and everything and... ugghh, I just felt so stupid. Sososososo stupid. I don't know why... and I know you still really like him and everything, but I just want to let you know that the level of emotion and personal attention I have for you is strong and consistent. I'm not saying that no one will ever feel for you as strongly as I do, But I'm saying that it'd be pretty **** hard to top it. I just want to let you know that this will never go away. I have tried everything short of a lobotomy but I can't ever, and will never forget about you. I know how foolish it is, but there is no way I could ever help it. Humanity help me, it's literally impossible to knock, like that crazy romance **** You see in movies. It's unreal.

Desiree I think about you more than I think about Sableyes and Adoring fans and Acid trips and soft melodies. All of the things I daydream about. Whenever I daydream, I always add on the wishful thought of someday sharing whatever I'm dreaming about with you, or just sharing me with you. I laugh hysterically in my head at the thought of ever being what I once was to you again, a laugh developed by my pride to stifle my cries and soak up my tears before they ever surface. No, I'm not sad all the time, just when the thinking reaches a fever pitch. Sad isn't the word, more like frustrated. You know me better than anyone on this planet, seriously, You know that I have problems communicating my feelings properly. Most of the thinking is me trying to put words together for you. Though I usually don't come up with anything until I actually do write you, There's always been one thing that I've wanted to tell you that I could never form an appropriate form for and even saying it now would do it an injustice because I can't make these words jump off of the screen and wrap it's arms securely around waist, or whisper quietly in your ear or emulate the disparity of them properly, it's all I got. This xenomorphic phrase.

Physical pain may be temporary, but I'm still too much of a ***** to cut off my own ear, So these words, They're all I have left. The only thing that I can give to you with every bit of a human heart and genuine honesty I have...

Desiree Deslongchamps,

I love you.
Manic Brilliance Nov 2015
I work too much to think,
I think too much to work.
one minute I'm playing games,
trying hard to stay sane,
and then at my face I stare,
trying to fix my hair.
funny how time flies,
when you're doing twenty things at once,
I'm not the other guys,
it's been way to many month.
it's funny isn't it?
you try hard to keep your mental,
but your mental is detrimental to potential to have potential.
I despise the way you cry in the rain to hide the pain, when you try to hide the tears, and shelter all your fears, it's been way too many years, so you change it with the sheers, one hair at a time, counting down all of the crimes that happened to your life as you're reaching for the knife, screaming on the inside, but my words you don't abide when I'm trying.
I'm just trying.
****** I'm trying.
I'm trying.

I walk away in a silent vision of all things that are violent.
changing the description of faults, you default back into the shell as if it were your fault, but it's none but their own from what the records show.
And I try to make you see that inside my eyes you'll see a soul that's ment to be the reason that you breathe. but my words you don't abide, but I'm trying.
I'm just trying.
I can see, that you're trying.
I'm trying.

Delirious to the mysterious succession of the furious fears that settled in to the demons that are near to us and thus we make them dear to us.
my friend you are just missing out on what your life could be all about. a future that you surely doubt but realise that you're finally out. so wipe away the salted wounds that only you can see and despite all of the water you have to let yourself breathe because you're free. but my words you don't abide but I'm trying.
I'm just trying,
she not special but you're trying.

In the end do you love? or perhaps it was lust? or perhaps it was a must, for you to claim your trust. that you lost from your past? as a child you didn't last very long in a fight internally ignited by the crazed human beings that you said you wanted to show you your affection? instead of dereliction of a fantasy of perfection? and I read all of your sections and my words you don't abide even though I try.
and man, I am trying.
stop fighting it and try.
I'm just trying.

Albeit that you must realize who I am. I'm ashamed of what I was, I'm ashamed of what I became. I could never hide my sin, and I never could fit in, no matter friend or kin. so I hide the voice within trying to tell me to let them in. but what you know is just the skin. and you see.
the skin sheds.
as it dies, it tries to hide.
and me? I'm just trying.
so a hermit I will become.
because all I do is try.
and for now.
I'm done trying.
eileen mcgreevy Feb 2010
Your feet smell,
But i know they'd walk a thousand miles for me.

Your hands are always cold,
But the slightest touch sends me to paradise.

You bottle things up,
But i also know my love is in there along with your emotions.

You're too far away,
But every minute of every day, i feel your breath on my neck my love.

You have anger issues,
But that proves how passionately you feel, in your heart.

All this said??, i am ginger,a ****** day walker,
So thankyou for putting up with me this past year...


                                           (c) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2010
One4u2nv May 2015
Partners turned enemies turned frenemies turned long lost soul mates who never were meant to be-
You never know what you got until it finally walks out the door. And thank god for that ******* door-
If I hadn’t of walked the tightrope so clumsily maybe my peanut butter fingers would have, should have, could have grabbed a little bit better omit the fumbling…but I just kept stumbling-
I honestly thought I was going to die here in this trailer, this **** double wide modular hell of mine,
We stick ourselves in mud sometimes, Mud so thick it creates specific life lines. You can actually see your personal timeline-
That timeline has been looking like the color of ****. Well **** me sideways ain’t life a ******* *****-
****** ***** low down ******* skunt. Skinned knees ***** breeze I felt this old home giving me a breathless squeeze-
It squeezed me so hard I hit reality, reached up and snatched actuality with a left hook of formality equalling life’s gain of destined brutality-
I moved mountains harder than I’ve ever ****** any man. It was one swift move of ballsy rhetoric but I had to sell my soul for a compromise and a date just to get my hands on the blue prints for the master plan-
You see everyone is someone else’s ******. I’m on a chain, a noose, a shock collar and this filthy serenade is for the shot caller-
Someday I’ll cut those chains but most likely by the time I’m equipped I’ll have lost those better days-
You learn to live on less by biding time, by sweeping by, just keeping your heart above water and your head leaking dry. I remember my partner turned enemy, turned frenemy, that long lost soul mate who just was never meant to be….
Sukanya Basu Dec 2012
I don't know what to say 'bout her....
Even a crow would be sick..
Little do you know 'bout her features
Am sure you would act like this!
She walks out of a party show
Like a total cracked geek
Wears dress like a halloween show
And wears empty lipstick!
Oh heck she has white skin
Totally  pale like a vamp
But then it holds like a surgery
Oh! she's such a *****!
And she has huge fangs....
Which are sooo **** real!
BUt then people will have more than second thoughts
WHEEEUH! push away that smell!
She has blood red lips
But they are totally gross!
With no positive blood,onion flavored
And on lips...turmeric sauce!
And when she attacks a fellow guy...
She makes sure the guy is cute
And then she stabs a knife instead of her teeth
Like playing a guitar instead of flute...
Man! she thinks she's sexxy
But she has ****** mistaken
And then she walks with her heavy body
The guys think that the world is shaki'n!
I can say no more....
Cuz my neck's paining
Oh ****..now i get it!
The woman was not at all lying!
Jon Shierling Jul 2014
I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ANYMORE.
I WANT TO DO.
I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS ****** CHAIR AND FIND YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO STARE AT THIS COMPUTER.
I WANT TO BE.
I WANT TO BURN THROUGH MY CITY WITH A SOUL ON FIRE.
I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO MUSIC.
I WANT TO LIVE IT.
I WANT TO TEAR DOWN THIS LIE AND DANCE WITH YOU.
Jor For Jan 2017
****** that's good poetry!
Consonants strike like hot cooking fat on bare skin
Nouns flowing; a Jimi Hendrix riff
..... Or maybe it was more like Clapton?

Digress

You're welcome.
Glad to know that when blood spills
Some lands on a page. Making...
A *******? Nah,
That's cliche and lazy assed
More like those Japanese ink paintings
Before those cooky Catholics showed up? Ish?
smooth and elegant lines in spiraled mountains and heart monitor tree Scapes

I'm Hercules on your own Queen of gods teet (congrats on the great ****** Milkyway!) spilling that good bluesy verse on the
W.
W.
Dot

I've bled you dry for years, "warrior poet"
You're welcome.
Someone think up a good title
Olivia Greene Jul 2013
did you tell her about me?
of the pain i caused you?
of my problems that you no longer wanted to fix?
or of the ******* heart of yours i broke.
did you tell her how i TRANSFERED for YOU left all MY friends to please YOU
or  did you tell her about the call at 4 A.M. because I had a nightmare and needed to talk to someone, to hear my best friend's voice tell me "it's okay olivia, it was just a dream"
or how i asked you to send me sad things so that i would force myself to cry, because i hadn't cried in months and wanted to feel SOMETHING other than numb
or how we stayed up until 3 A.M. in Germany trying to solve this unsolvable mess, and you cried and i cried. everything was so ****** up
or all the red mango's i put on your doorstep as a peace offering.

you knew me, but you didnt
and that's something i still can't figure out
you knew how to manipulate me into thinking it was the best choice for US.
you loved using "us"
but you never ******* encouraged me or made me feel PROUD
I showed you my ****** poetry and you just "hmph-ed" you ******* HMPH-ED
Awhile ago I felt like I was drowing.
And I didn't want to come up and show my face to you, to my mom, to anyone who mattered
you mattered to me, c.
you mattered.
but now,
my priorities lie in
gaining back everything you put away in a box
that tiny little box you labeled
branded
with your name
Blue Flask Apr 2016
I'm really ****** sick again
Lay time I was sick was last summer
That was the first time I fell in love with you
I wonder what will happen this time
As the stars in the sky shine a bit more dimly
And the moon looks on wth passive sympathy
******* this would be easier if you stayed
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
Feel like I'm falling somewhere
somewhat transcendental
needing to stop pretending
that what I feel
and see
and live
isn't
real.

I suppose that I wanted to write
something that may
have been something
magically enticing
that could
bring me
back to
you.

But I'm sick of these vicious ravings
tacked up on some kind
of failing travesty
crying out
for an
idea.

So what that I was looking for someone
to cling to in this raging sea
so what that I may have
been the exact opposite
of who and what
she and I
may have
desired.

I don't think that my absolute and unwelcome
need to write whatever comes to mind
is some kind of balm that may cure
whatever sinking, slithering thing
that ails me so, irresolute
and very sullen
but rather
is a mirror
unforgiving.

How this phrase grown out of a horror movie
and one thousand years of Alchemy
has become a byword between us
living as a hashtag and a symbol
in the world we now have here
our only complete interaction
contact in something
souls flung
carelessly
away.

Realizing that I'm not writing this to you or me
but rather all of us that have fought
in our own way to continue
believing in something
greater than ourselves
weak and yet
resilient as
firelight.

I have not the words to break through the walls
that I have built for myself out of
shame and a soul wounded
and so scarred as to
have torn your
happiness from
you.

But I still retain this deep suspicion that
what still lives within us all
is a burning and a knowing
something not for Truth
but for not needing
to feel so
****** lonely
so sickeningly
often.

And so I sit here behind by computer forged from
metal and silicon and greed, typing out love and rage
not really believing that what I say
will ever have any real impact
on the society that I have
come here, truly
to destroy.

So let's take a true gander at this wretch of a world
that we've created for ourselves, hoping
that all of this half-assed search
for real and absolute
freedom from oppression
is more
than
a
pipe-dream.
mia Jan 2016
WHY DO I LIKE YOU SO MUCH
WHY ARE YOU ON MY MIND CONSTANTLY
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
WHY MUST YOUR LAUGH BE SO ****** cUtE
WHY MUST YOUR SMILE LiGHt uP MY LIFE
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
WHY DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME ABOUT ME.
**** this is so ****** but @ my crush
McKenna Carrig May 2014
I'm sorry. I'm so ******* sorry. I love you, and I'm sorry for that too. I'm insane, but you probably figured that out by now. I get so sad sometimes and I haven't a clue why, and I'm sorry I can't give you a straight answer. I'm so lost, I hate myself for everything I've ever put you through because you deserve so much better than me. I mean come on. I'm crazy. I'm so flawed and you can't see it, or maybe you choose not to. I get upset so easily and I take it out on you and I'm so ******* sorry for that too. it's not your fault. it doesn't have anything to do with you, it's a flaw in my genes and you help take it away. I'm sorry for not being who you want, I'm sorry for going crazy at the drop of a dime. I can't help it babe. I love you. I get mad for the stupidest reasons and you don't know that the aftermath of this war we constantly find our way into tears me limb from ******* limb. I can't breathe because you take my breath away and I just want you to be there. I want you to be there no matter what and I don't want to ask for help because when I ask I feel weak and I'm supposed to be strong for you and for us and for everyone. I can't show you that I'm dying because you'll blame yourself and it's got nothing to do with you. I hide all my feelings from everyone and I'm getting really sick of it honestly. I just feel like I can't open up to you because you'll see who I really am and you'll leave. like everyone else. and you left before and it was so ******* easy. how. why. I needed you. I loved you. I gave you my everything and you threw it back in my face. that killed me. you ruined me in ways you'll never know about.  I'm so scared to trust you, you're my world but I'm so scared to let you in again because of your past. I'm so terrified of being abandoned because you can find someone who's so much better than me and you will, and she'll be perfect in every way that I'm not and she'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated and I won't be able to fix it, again. and love, I know I'm pushing you away but I don't mean to. I can't lose you. I'm so scared. I'm so sorry. I'm terrified to love you because I'm so sick of being hurt. I always hurt. always. no matter what I say or do I'll always be thinking of how easily you hurt me. and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry I can't get over it. I tried. I've been trying since November. I'm still trying today. I care about you and your well being a billion times more than you could ever care about me. and I want to open up to you, I want to tell you everything. I want so bad to let you into my world because maybe you'd understand why I'm so ****** up. but you don't care. and if I told you, you'd probably laugh in my face to be honest. I tried to tell you about my dad, but you don't care as much as you should I won't even show this to you because if I did you probably wouldn't want to read it because it's so ****** long. but I have a lot on my mind that I could never say to your face and I'm sorry for that too. I'm sorry I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anything. I just want to die. it's taking all my ******* self control not to cut, and I want to so ******* bad. and I'm sorry for that too. I won't do it because I love you and I can't stand hurting you. but I'm sorry for wanting to hurt myself. I deserve it.
Doll Spaghetti Oct 2015
You're so ****** frail
Failing for a change
You just had to know all about the world
But you will never know

'Cause no one ever told you how
Jon Shierling Jul 2015
When the music stops,
It's time for me to get up
And walk on out.

And when the sun sets
Over this beach we live on,
I've always got to go on.

For five years, it was OK
Being alone, being needed
But not doing the needing.

Guess it doesn't really matter,
Since I sure can write like
It does, but writing is just words.

These days though, after the last
Year spent belonging somewhere,
Being part of a crew and a crowd....

Someone throws on the Stones,
In walks the ghost of where I know
I'm headed no matter what I do.

Yeah, here I am now, exactly who I
Thought I wanted to be, living my
Own rules, beholden to no one.

And ya know what, it's made a great
****** story, something I always wanted to read, the kind of story your's is too.

Sure hasn't been as much fun
Living it as I thought it might be,
Finding you in your driveway,
And I was too drunk to be who
You honestly needed me to be.
yann Mar 2021
so what if i died right there,
mouth wide open,
killed by the number of rejections my body has had to suffer through,
mine first and then the rest,
a grief made out of pebbles and rocks and other sharp objects.

what if i gave up, right now,
body crumpled in a knot
of all the hate it has received over the years,
yours first and then
the one i started throwing at it too.

there is only so much time one can save before the ticking of the clock gets too much
to keep walking in dry lands.
show me the ****** water
let me drown in it,
I should be the king of me.
carm Nov 2014
"****** it, can you not be so condescending!!!!!"
"me?! you just always think you're the right one!!!"
...
marriage.
a decision made at a moment of impulse.
to tie your fate to another person,
and spending most of your time to make it work.
i thought love was to make the person happy.

it isn't.

it was about making the person make you happy.
the desire to have control over one another.
wrestling.
ultimately,
a game of power.
a game where you make someone bow before you.
meaningless lies and promises to gain trust.
"i'm sorry love. i'm so sorry. it's all my fault. let's not do it again."
just to break it again.
the cycle continues.
and we just wish that love will make this all work out.
but my dear,
love itself does not equal marriage.
and it will never.
I love you,
and i mean it.
can we not go on with this.
more a free-write than a poem. just something inspired by this evening.
Jon Shierling Jun 2017
Maybe that was the first mistake I made
there at the very beginning.

I wanted all of it, everything I could glean
from whatever life had to offer.

Not only did I want the beauty of Hesse,
Dante, and all the glories of Old Florence,
I wanted someone like me to share it with.

I wanted to wake up in a room in Tangier
to the Muezzin calling the faithful to prayer
and have some unbelievable soul in bed with me
wipe the sleep from her eyes and kiss me.

They say that I'm a drunk and a dreamer
and they may in fact be right about that,
but they'll never know the absolute glory
that comes from pouring your bleeding guts
out onto paper at two in the morning with
Pavarotti blaring as loud as you can make him.

I'm almost thirty and I've almost given up,
almost accepted that the finer things in life
will only ever be a dream, a fleeting glimpse
into an improbable future that may cost too much.

And then I meet people like her, Artists and Lovers
that cut me in ways I didn't think I could be anymore.
I'll be doing alot of drugs with them, maybe have some
truly Protestant shaming *** with them, trying to
reach out across that ****** abyss and touch their soul.

But I'll never wake up in Tangier with them.
I'll fall asleep listening to Netflix and wondering
who gave her the scars I can feel pumping through her heart.
It'll probably fade away relatively quickly too,
that one real moment when the walls fell.

No matter, I always knew deep in my heart of hearts
that people like me don't get happy endings or to
live our dreams out unless we die for them.
We go our own way, suffering to be who we are,
creating beauty in ****** rooms with screaming
children that reek of cat **** and regrets.

But if it ever gets too much to bear, there's
always truly running, truly giving up on
having it all, walking the **** away
and being insane and drunk in Tangier alone.
Nella Apr 2020
I just came here to scream
To scream into plugged ears
Walled off mind's
Dark rooms
The void
I have choices
Eat a ****** bullet or rot away like a good person
I have every note or tear or said and unsaid word of me and any of my blood or fellows tucked away in my heart sarcastically
Nobody saw it coming!
We missed the signs!!!
How selfish!!!
As if the only significant factor in a person who has no idea why they exist taking themselves out is the fear of a brutal act against oneself
The major fear, its a ****** frightening thing, is what happens after!!!!????
Why men beg at there knees for lifetimes
Beat traditions and doctrines in there offsprings head
It soothes a fearful heart
Look around
We **** on each other
That is it
Wether you feel something young or old you feel it and decide quickly to hide it
I picture any person i meet, especially intimately, to be a bright beautiful person with eyes like the universe and both hands politely behind there back with a gorgeous smile, one hand has a future, the other has a long beautiful slender sharp blade
They say cowards take there own lives
I believe cowards fall in line
I believe cowards lose there bravery out of weariness in search
They fall into common tradition and it is comfy and popular and brings acceptance and joy
Then they rot, slowly
Dont we all?
The big voice with questions withers and gets tiny then faint then quiet
And the coward rots
So seems to much passion in this life makes you a coward
Dev Mar 2018
Who am I to write love poems to you
When you will never see them

Am I selfish to create a friendship based off of lies,
In the hope that you'll come to love me?

In all honesty,
I'm a ****** hypocrite.
hj Apr 2019
And
razors and blades
and blood and scars
lost my faith
in a worls that's ours
**** happens
life is cruel
and i'm the little ****** fool
that life chose to ****
ashes and cigarettes
and cigarette burns
i'm in a little room
the walls cave in and it turns
and i,m losing my mind with every inch
my head is getting messed up
my life gets more ****** up
i can't handle this **** anymore
my head is a hot potato everyone throws around
my head sleeps to sorrows sound
it's been long
and now it's my lullaby
and i'm stuck in these circles
and time is passing by
it's passing me by
i know it *****
Curlan Eiruc Feb 2019
Let's talk for a minute.
You think you can't write but I believe you can. Why else would you want to make a book. You didnt just want to compile past writings. That's cheap. Turns out you're documenting your journey too. The ******* ups and downs of you and your mood. Jesus what is wrong with you. I only you knew. Knew exactly how to feel better. In fact, right now, you dont even know what's wrong. Is it the realization of how hard it is to find love. Is it the realization that life is just going to keep giving you just shots of love. Is it building to something? Something that the collection of all this craving will find content in. A love that will last. Or is this a curse put upon you, stemmed from the possible reason and mathematics of how you were conceived. Not even your parents, that two people that are supposed to make sure youre happy and well can give you that love that you want. I dont think they know how to love. and that behavior transferred to you. You were told yesterday, love is a collection of emotions just all coming together at once. But isnt that how you feel alot. Almost all the time. Maybe you should stop falling in love. Like you've never been told that before. But if the ultimate goal to living, or at least to your belief, is to find something or a collection of somethings that can offer you love when you need or at least when you need it most. Dont you have to play the game of give and take. But at this point, how much more do you have to give to get it. Or maybe even if you feel like you're tearing apart again and again, what you're giving is not enough. And one thing about love, there's so many forms of it. Love hides in the acceptance and comfort that friends give. Love runs wild in the arms of a one night stand. Love stands still when you glance into the eyes of your lover. Love bounces when a dog has it's tongue out and it wants you to play with. Love lies in the arms of a parent. What version of the word "lie"? I dont know. And love is so ******* hard. And so ******* easy. You know what, Love is easy it's handling it that's hard. It's so easy to get attached to a person, to let them into your mind multiple times a day to want to give them presents every week, to want to talk to them throughout the whole day, to want to just walk around for hours just sharing stories. I used to crave love much more than this, and I was young, with not much standards about the norms in society. I used to put my all into my crushes. Creepily, if I do admit. I'd wait for them every morning, and every break. I'd do little things just to please them. **** I used to give my all. I want to do that again. To be able to give my love to someone, at least this time to have them accept it. I want to be crazy for someone and all over someone. But now, my love, at least that kind of love is limited to just the rando hookups that I go on just to fill my ****** ***** *****. And it's sooo limited because you're with a stranger, they dont want what you want, you cant show that. And you know what, it is actually possible to find love. Or at least the love you see on the streets and instagram posts. It is. But you have your trust issues, what if this, what if that, this aint it chief, this aint it. You're sooo picky. You couldve found love in the toxic man who manipulated you about his suicidal tendencies. You could've found love in the guy who didnt know what he wanted and just liked the idea of a girlfriend I guess. You could've found love in the guy who just wanted a nice girl to go to pretty places with. But that kind of love aint it, it wouldnt have been fullfilling because the compromise is bigger than the reward. In the end, there's no love. Unfortunately, you're not going to find the kind of love you're looking for on Tinder either. Though it's hitting you a little late just because you struck out that one time and he was more than what you asked for and so you stayed. But there is no love in Tinder. Yet, there is no love in real life either. People dont talk to random people on the street. Or at least not to you, for some reason. No one's going to ask you out on a date. Not if it's not through a screen. Why? Maybe you're intimidating. Maybe you have crazy eyes. Maybe life just doesnt want to give you that love. But at the same time you cant help but hold on to that line in How I Met Your Mother that says your lover is coming as fast as they can. And when they finally reach it'll be the greatest time of your life. And it's such a long wait. You're 19 and already craving that kind of ****, that's unhealthy *****. I dont know if there's anything else to say. It was a good talk. Thank you for your time.
yann Mar 2021
i saved a picture of you in my phone a while back
saw it and got angry
how can you be so pretty? i wondered
thought it was jealousy, for your beauty and your strong shoulders, and the shimmers over your eyes,
now i realize i was probably just gone all along.
a match of attraction and
bitterness, admiration,
and love,
and being too ****** queer about it all.
Eve May 2019
Tell us, sing those children

Oh, Do tell us, They laugh

Giggle

It’s a game

A ****** game

To them

Just another

Game.

Just another story.

Oh so excited

Oh so eager

To

Hear.

All about those

Heroes

Those

Villians.

Those monsters

Those battles

Those swords

Those arrows

That war

That death.

Tell us, cry those children

Oh, tell us how you killed him!

And it’s that

That

Eagerness for

Blood.

That kills me.

Because, how?

How can they ever know?

How can they know what it

Looks like?

Those final
Moments.

That

Blood

****

Tears

Whimpering

Praying

Oh, the praying

Oh, help us

Save us

Don’t leave us

Don’t leave

Please

Brave men.

Strong men.

Men who were

Are

Loved.

Who loved

I just killed him, I say.

Just watched him, I think.

Watched his life

Trickle

Trickle

Trickle.

Out.

Watched his love

His soul

Wash

Wash

Wash

Away.

Until he was

Gone

Gone

Gone

And so,

I

Think

A part of me

To

Gone

Gone

Gone.


Tell us more, they scream

Oh, tell us about the guts

Gore

Intestines glistening

In that cruel

Cruel sun

Spears coated in flesh

Blood

Blood

Blood

Blood, they roar.

The children want blood.

Like its a ****** game.

And then they go

And they fight

And they come back

And they have shadows

So many

Many shadows.

Why didn’t you tell us, they sob

Oh, why did you lie?, they howl

Wolves lost

In bloodlust

Winter winds

Blood

Blood

Blood

Oh, so much blood.

It coates their hands

Their chests

Their swords

Spears

Arrows.

What have i done ?

What have we done?

How could I?

How could we?

How could you?

Oh so eager

Oh so excited

For the

Heroes

Those

Villians.

Those monsters

Those battles

Those swords

Those arrows

That death.


That war.
Why do we have wars?
Seriously, what is the point?
What could, actually comes from killing people?
Abhishek Gautam Feb 2020
You might not know me or you do
What I'm about to tell you is sad but it's true
Grab a seat this gonna take moment ok?
Now you might think this is some weird ****** ****
But let me tell you it's much more than this
Now let me warn you already instead
Although you're not in it
I'll make you feel in it ok?
You can close this right now
Cause things gonna be a bit steep ahead

My soul has been broken so many time
That now I laugh instead of crying
Trust and love bring the tears
Pain is my new taste of comedy
Let it shower
let the pain drizzle all over me
Cause it's the only when you'll see the most laughing me
My hope never died
Yeah but its backbone did
You don't get this?
let me take you a bit deeper ok?
I used to think of happiness and love is what I need
but once my tongue got the taste of hurting and dying
****** I ******* loved it
Now that pain became something where my life depends on it

I used to be scared of pain
Until I realized happiness was the real evil
And now I invite all the energies to hurt me in such a way
That there's no chance left to let me escape
Killing me slowly but not letting me die
That's what My heart wishes for one last time
Take me down to the deepest of this lake
Hold me there till I'm ******* dead
Or you can burn me up in the brightest flame
I hope anyone who comes to me must treat me in their worst possible way.
And all of this is written by me cause finally my tears are black
Mind's open, heart's burning, eyes exploding
But most of all my soul is cracked
Cause this is written by me when my tears became black
My tears are black but I was not crying
I know you don't get this, let me explain, trust me I'm trying

Word that can define me is catastrophic
You need to listen to me I'm not on narcotics
Yeah it might not make any sense to you
But that doesn't mean it's senseless
Each day I get up and get dressed
With millions of shards in my heart
layer under layer suppressed
You might call me depressed
But I'm not
Cause this is written by me when my tears became black
I'm not crying but laughing with the tears that are black
And I hope this might explain me right, cause if it doesn't
I do not have any other words to say, ok?
yann Feb 2021
where your heartbeat used to rest, next to mine
i was hoping for you to come back, watching the news with everyone around me,
waiting for the pin to drop,
and it did !

i miss the rivers and the lakes you know,
wish i could reach for the stars always but right now
i just wanna reach for you,
and get drunk on the feeling
of you and your laugh and your soft voice and the way your smile gets pointy when you're truly happy, the way your beauty grins move around your face like living creatures,
the way you say my name
each day again and again
the way you ask for me to come back
anytime i'm the one who leaves.

i can't ask you to fill the hole in my chest
i'll fill it my own ****** self but know that ;
i miss you.

— The End —