"darko" poems
It's
dangerous to be on anything that isn't a precipice.
**** your flat-footed surety!
Sometimes the
solidarity
you stand on
is far too smoothed over by
heat and applause
for you to try to
walk it without a razor-sharp railway
under you.
Like,
that scene in Donnie Darko where
the rainbow bubbles know
which step you'll take
to
the fridge, the couch, the TV.
I'm talking about irony!
How
it's the only way to not slip.
Someday you'll
realize
how the great Dog above
didn't always mean for us
to be so
literal.
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 12:03 PM UTC
sometimes it hits me really hard,
like in an instant, my world is backwards
and my heart is being squeezed too tightly-
just enough to hurt like hell.
i'm suddenly drowning in blankets
that smell like us
and pillows that have
blood stains on them,
my eyeliner is smeared and
my hair is a mess.
i'm back in your basement,
and i don't know how to leave.
we're eating dinner while watching
fringe, supernatural, chuck,
and your dad made me my own pasta
(i love that man to an indescribable extent).
i look over at you and suddenly something changes.
your eyes have gotten darker,
your hair is knotted and your face older,
your laugh has faded away.
you went and grew up without me.
you make me nervous, sweets,
and i know i've already lost you.
you scare me, kid.
i'm trying to leave,
trying to hurry past the quilt on your wall
and the screaming cat on the stairs.
i'm attempting to escape the fear
that you've instilled in me.
but i realize that the thing i fear
is a whole different person
than the one i ate pretzels with
and fell asleep with while watching
donnie darko and **** bill.
he isn't the one who
sang songs to me, or
tickled me until i was sobbing, or
looked at me as if i was
the best girl in the world.
this was a whole new person.
and i didn't know a single
thing about him.
so now when all of this hits me
and i realize it's completely real,
that i lost my best friend and
the man i wanted to marry,
i realize that i've been
mourning this for a year now.
i lost him a long time ago.
i've dealt with this already.
i can smile now,
i can laugh.
i can finally be me again.
and while i know i'll always love him,
i can just remember those better years,
when we'd watch scary movies in the dark
and play myst and nancy drew in my basement.
i can just remember him as the boy
with summer across his cheeks
and a grin that made me giddy.
he was the healing i always needed and
i can never thank him enough.
Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 4:06 PM UTC
quote
"every living creature on earth dies alone"
word to donnie darko
and i can no longer endure the limitations set within the confines of this unrelenting soul
unwilling and yet eternal slave to capitalism with a damaged price tag
therefore,
i am unfit to be sold
but **** it,
grab your coat cause you better believe it's gonna get very cold
while we take a stroll
through the catacombs of our infrastructure
but you should be very wary of corporate black holes
where i hear democracy is supposed to console
but alas,
im out here and im ******* white water rafting in student loans
humans living on south congress without a place to call home
meanwhile we're ranting and raving about the newest iphone
and totally unrelated,
but i swear to god rick perry is the ******* antichrist
he may possess some obscure remnant of a mind but he does not possess a soul
so whilst immersed in melancholia,
i guess i will simply enjoy my cup of tea
within the mists of burning buildings
i hear hell is a place devoid of logic and reason
and if that is true, then so be it
i decree
that this plane of existence is the epitome of pain and suffering with no guarantee of alleviation, comfort, or consolation
just death, **** and disease
oh this life,
this life that we lead is vacant of any inherent meaning
and everything that you could possibly see is the product of absurdity
but as for me
i am but a hallucination, delusion, or fabrication
either way you spin it i do not actually exist
and with that as a matter of fact i am very complacent
i am cynical and consumed with self-hatred
but do not be mistaken
**** your scores i am not here for commiseration
simply put, i just needed somewhere to say this
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
An image or a shadow, I can’t make out which,
Is moving in a Donnie Darko style time portal
Out of my chest in front of me.
And I’m forever thinking, will time and space ever merge
To create moments like those again?
Or will it forever be replayed in an Arthaus theatre in my stalling, staring head.
Is it always my burden to bear? Of course, I damaged you like nothing else had.
The face behind the camera peers out of objects you gave me and it has never left.
It’s no longer sharp or clear, not biting or ringing,
No surprise, no puffy, love-broken eyes
Yet still it tears me apart.
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 11:05 AM UTC
To an Alice that could've been: I toy with the idea of future memories, contingent to past moments. Let's pretend it fades in from white. Now, there she is, summer dress flopping up and down on the trampoline like the opening and closing of a sunflower umbrella. She is a chronic smiler. And when her mouth isn't smiling, you can bet her eyes surely are. Or maybe her 4-year-old dimples. Anyhow, you can always be sure to find it buried in some characteristic of that face so round from laughing and so familiar to her mother. She charms, she brings joy, she shows the love of love. She makes the moon shine and my sun rise.
To a Dakota that could've been: The fading once again comes to clarity. There he is. In some statement of fashion not yet fit for an eighth grader. He doesn't care. He would if his father didn't wear it. Look at him: screaming at his mom for space, for some angsty, undefined sense of freedom and individuality. He's inherited more than the tie clip.
To a Becca that could've been: You always were and always will be. There is no fading for you, only a dramatic finish: the curtains meet in the middle and sway for a few seconds while the audience continues to clap, continues to cry, continues to wait for another Act. There is doubt to whether or not the lights will return or whether the curtains will open again, accompanied by such fanfare as to be sublime.
To a Darko that could've been: Don't wait for me, please. You can truly be fulfilled without me in your life. Don't wait to grow your hair out. Don't wait to try acid for the first time. I won't be there to hold your hand, I won't be there to physically hurt you when you make me feel worthless as a parent, and I surely won't be there when you see your mom cry for the first time. You'll cry too. And I'll know why.
Make me proud, Dakota.
Make me smile, Alice.
Make me remember, Becca.
Make her happy, Darko.
Oct 5, 2010
Oct 5, 2010 at 11:44 PM UTC
I remember us all sneaking across fences to grab the cooler full of beers she said were behind her dad's house. The back lights came on and we became swift as wind, running down alongside the river bank laughing and choking drunk all of us were. But we got our beers.
I remember leaving the house party, stumbling from one side of town to the other, smashing every pumpkin I saw along the way. When you found me, I was dazed. You said you just followed the guts along side the road and smiled.
I remember the bonfire at the moon towers, they drove off the flats in a fit of youth and invincibility. I half heartedly mocked, "they're gonna wreck. " Two hours later we picked them up from the side of a dirt, gravel, road as they walked away from the shattered glass and mangled trees. He still thanks me to this day for the ride home.
I remember walking down the street with you and that girl on my back, the street in front of your house. We all looked up for some reason and saw that ghostly flash of light pass across the front of the light pole. We froze, and then calmly walked back to your front porch, ours brains wracked with what it could have been. We still don't know.
I remember seeing you at her funeral, you were torn down and she was being laid to rest at an age much to young, only 15. You were with your new boyfriend but you still said you wished it was me by your side and for a moment life didn't seem so grey and hazy. I still never apologized for being who I was. I'm sorry.
I remember more about the sleepy little town we all grew in than I care to admit, holding all these moments close to my heart. It was the only place that felt like it accepted me. Even now that everyone is gone and our shades haunt that high school, I still feel a presence when I go back home to visit. Our little Donnie Darko town.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 7:54 PM UTC
fireflies only come out at night,
or maybe we just can't see their gleams of light
in the daytime
this was a lonely day
where my step father took me back to the western shore
to be alone again
companionship is not easy to come by these days,
buried in life's sad and sorry sands
regardless of all that has been good
there has always been the subtle reek of the bad
i don't know jesus,
but i hear he's a great guy
i don't know you,
but i know you're the only real answer, the only reasons why
and we pollute the rivers with reckless abandon,
and we let our children drown in it's poison
and when the sky opens up, there will be nothing left,
nothing but you, and him, and the lives that you have touched.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 8:53 PM UTC
morrissey said "to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die" and donnie darko said "every living creature on earth dies alone"
and maybe we're thrusting ourselves ourselves into the unknown
but from what i know the birds tell us stories with their wings and the sky is a lot more beautiful than his hands ever were to me and the overgrowth in the woods holds more passion than my eyes do some nights
when we walk through this world, we are doing so alone
to die on your own is a way most people don't want to go.
we have shipwrecks in our hearts and thunderstorms under our fingernails and sometimes i swear to god i can hear the rain in your exhale and highways never come to a complete end so why should we
comatose linked to these tombstones and the way you never understood what her eyes were saying when her lips couldn't move
i keep thinking back to the sunday mornings i found god in and i see the exasperation staining my knees from all the pleas i was sending back to me
maybe we have to see our own blood on the pale white concrete before we can understand what love is or what the sunset really means and i guess i'm saying i lost so many parts of me that i mopped up the blood and rung it out into the veins of a creature you'll never meet
to die in the passengers seat of a car with your heart on your sleeve and their saliva still on your lips is the way most people want to give death it's first kiss
we are brooding through the wavelengths of familiarity and unfamiliarity all at once and we chant deja vu when we meet someone new because they say the last thing you see when you die is those you love so what do we do when we **** the things we once knew and love all things brand new
to die by my own side is such a heavenly way to say goodbye.
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC
Stay in bed until your body hurts from staying in bed,
Gain 5 pounds,
Go through a nasty breakup,
Distance yourself from every bit of humanity,
Feel bad that you're distancing yourself from every bit of humanity
Get spontaneous bangs,
Think about the universe and human socialization,
Decide maybe it's just not for you.
Decide that's silly.
Get another piercing,
Decide you hate your bangs,
Decide you like your bangs.
Tell people to call you the little drummer boy,
Pa *** pum pum pum.
Remember that people support you regardless of anything previously mentioned.
Decide you're still a good person.
Mostly.
Have an ongoing Harry Potter marathon as a coping mechanism.
Because Harry wouldn't do this to you, okay
Be reminded of your childhood,
Miss being a kid.
Immerse yourself deeper into more cult classics.
Is Donnie Darko god?
Wonder how people describe you to others.
Get really insecure about how people describe you to others.
Realize you're normal,
Realize everyone thinks about this.
Like about existing
And the butterfly effect
And how it's important that you're here.
Realize you're glad you're here too.
Sep 1, 2017
Sep 1, 2017 at 6:42 PM UTC
you know, i knew you were special that wednesday afternoon in october
the one where your hand went searching for mine as we walked around the city of canterbury
we sat in that hollow subway up stairs where there was one other guy
and i ate my sub so messy- symbolic for how it would all end-
underneath the table my feet were on top of yours
i always wanted to be touching you
we sat in that subway for 3 hours i didn't want to move
just sit opposite you and watch your beautiful eyes and beard
you were always so breathtaking and weird to look at
its in that moment i think back now that we are no longer together
i know i loved you
and im glad i gave you the parts of me i did
I'm sorry i fell asleep watching donnie darko that night i know it was your favourite movie and you wanted to give me a piece of you too.
i want you to know you did.
i also want you to know i was never going to be enough
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 3:52 PM UTC
I'm re-watching Donnie Darko
because I like it
but mainly because I know you like it
and maybe I'm just trying to think of you
not that I have to try
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
Cellar Door
The word cellar door, may paint a cold, dark image,
But the two words together, are simply magnificent.
They roll off the tongue, like a red silk carpet
And when you find something so beautiful,
You should not forget it.
For cellar door, I simply adore,
For it's a connection of words, that are simply beautiful.
Two words together, that when spelt right have a meaning,
But when they are separated and you see them differently,
You are able to see, why they contradict each other;
For cell keeps us trapped, we can't run free from this evil,
But to adore is to love, the purest of feelings;
The thing that can't be beaten, with an English Dictionary,
Or a thoughtless, harsh word, from a fool in the audience,
Who will never see or hold such beauty,
For they truly are ignorant.
These thoughts are my own;
But I was inspired to write this poem.
If you missed Donnie Darko
And don't know where I got this inspiration,
A teacher with passion, spoke the words cellar door
And explained they were her, two favorite words of all.
So remember cellar door, for it simply means love;
Don't let them lock away your feelings, behind a cell door
And keep them buried, so no one can see your love show.
Don't hide from your feelings, for it will serve you no good.
Will you choose to be trapped inside your cell?
Or applaud me, for I saw what is plain to see
And I am willing to tell.
Cellar door sounds fantastic and when it is spoken by a lover,
You shall see its true meaning, simply means I love you forever.
Together we are happily trapped, in this notion called love,
But we are free to be free,
For we have the key to this cellar door.
(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 8, 2018 at 1:48 PM UTC
if i had to list my three favorite movies,
today i might say: Across the Universe, Donnie Darko, and The ****** Suicides
(basic *****
mainly for the aesthetics
the way the camera or lighting makes the scene
and i have colors stuck in my head from my own life images,
mostly pale blues
all in your room
(the comforter, the hue of the tv screen, your eyes)
it's all about angles, and i get the perfect view while perched on your chest
wish all the colors and lighting from the scenes in my head reflected more in my actions, you'd never get bored of me then.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 1:07 AM UTC
i like to make lists: one thing per month for what i’m looking forward to
(reasons why i shouldn’t die)
i like to start with february (because january is overrated and ****** --anyway:
february: my best friend’s birthday
march: ****
okay, okay, let’s start over:
february: valentine’s d-- **** that doesn’t help.
i like to alternate years between being badass and single and laughing with friends over how awful dating is, and buying myself chocolate and watching hallmark movies all day.
pathetic.
let’s try this one more time:
february: my best friend’s birthday
march: spring break spent with friends going anywhere but home
april: rain instead of snow
may: the end of the school year-- finals week ***** but it’s just a week of stress and then i’m done--
june: warm weather
july: so much sunshine that i forget about my depression
august: catching up on sleep that i lost all year (lost all summer staying up with the warm weather)
september: sales on office and school supplies, notebooks and paper
october: halloween
november: half-winter, half-autumn movies, nightmare before christmas, donnie darko
december: christmas and peppermint mocha
january: pretending like everything is a fresh start even though i know that i’ll just be worsening my same old bad habits (it’s okay, my frontal lobe won’t be done forming for another six-to-eight years anyway)
february: my birthday, watching all the scratches and scars from other people and things start to fade.
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 6, 2017 at 9:20 AM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
When is there love for me,
Instead of lust,
Pray hard enough, but no answer,
In god we trust,
Putting the fate of my hands in jeopardy,
Or jeopardize putting me in a coma permanently,
Don't know what it is with me and being numb , but,
But to yell out if have if have bad intentions is just selfishly dumb,
Like Donnie Darko,
And his imaginative dark demon,
******* always wanna talk , my name they never mention,
So apparently I'm emotionally scared, without compromising,
My life was hell enough , and think that's it fun blackmailing,
Let the shine bright, on the poor decision you made for me to do a killing,
Now I'm hanging from the ceiling.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC
this fog xeroxes
a blank mind...
dues eX machina.
curled up in bright raindrops
that cling to the idea
of a branch.
as a certain Mr. Darko stabs at
a mirror...Bunnymen Echo
through the fog.
diving down the holes
of her "Killing Moon".
those
songful submissions of dire
lyrical agency.
Mr. Darko will stare out
impolitely...till the lunar
mission completes itself.
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 1:30 PM UTC
I wasn’t meant to get this far but did
I skated by
I cheated death
I have slipped through cracks in promises
And taken 34.6 million last breaths
And I’m still breathing
Didn’t bleed enough, the times that I was bleeding
An alternate reality of many narrowly avoided
fatal wrecks
I have died, now,
At least 4 to 5 to maybe 7 times
And when I think of all my parallel-selves I often find myself in envy of their eyes
And how they’re closed
How they can’t see- just how bizarre the story gets
But I’m the strongest one
I am the Lauren who has not died yet
Nov 11, 2020
Nov 11, 2020 at 9:46 PM UTC
how to clear polluted air
in darkness i sit and i stare
at my wall and at my bed
there is a man in a bunny head
he watches me sleep every night
i lay awake awaiting fright
the bunny man can clearly see
how terrified i am to be
sleeping in a room with him
exposing me to all his sins
i need to find a way to ****
the bunny man who wants to fill
my brain with all these eerie thoughts
i see my body
my flesh rot
i know with time i will decay
the longer that bunny man stays
i need to accept im alone
and maybe that earth’s not my home
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 8:43 PM UTC