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AJ Farruco May 31
Ghostfaced overkiller/
I put the sin in sincerity/
Cast the last million stones/
Let's rock like ***** & GOMORRAH/
Birdman, on the windowsill/
Launch a nuclear war/
Head on fire - NEVER LOOK BACK/
Running with scissorhands, blunted/
Wet paperbag gloves/
Chasing serpent tail forever/
So caught up in yourself, that/
You didn't notice the climate change/
Sweating ice in a feverdream/
Friends & family are gone/
You're all alone... THIS IS MANIA/
Shattered nerve clusterbomb/
My primary emotion is sadness/
Disguised as anger; explosive synapses/
Living in an elephant graveyard/
I snap like Thanos, and don't marvel/
Verse as horcrux/
TATTERED SOUL JOURNALIST/
Stitching together a forked tongue/
Forcing my demons to talk "normal"/
It just sounds so unnatural/
And the voices are NOT HAPPY/
I didn't listen for one month/
But prepared an epic mudbath/
Purification is a holiday/
Get out of rehab/
Go straight to the crackhouse.../

I'M NOT GONNA FAKE IT/
JUST TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER/
I'M NOT GONNA FAKE IT/
JUST TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER/
I'M NOT GONNA FAKE IT/
JUST TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER/

I'm a failure; thanks for asking/
Keeping it real is mad expensive/
And I'm broke./
31/05/2019.
AJ Farruco May 20
Eye daggers/
Stabbing up your back/
Obsession/
The only thing that makes sense/
Method acting overtime/
Too many characters/
Twenty-seven missed calls/
Blame everything on my evil twin/
Phasing in & out of a migraine/
Timespace as psychedelic colour bomb/
Butterflyknife wing flutter/
Cough up an iron lung/
Only bite my tongue on the way down/
There's blood on the dancefloor/
Break the eagle, settle for yin-yang/
Head in a cloud, dead/
Left foot in quicksand, sunken/
Placed between a snake and ladder/
With my face thrown forwards/
And my feet flung backwards/
****... nausea: chemical imbalance/
They're all laughing at me, God/
I'm praying for a blackout/
In the wrong reality/
Reading old diaries to get back/
Catch a brain hemorrhage like a bullet/
Hysteria.../
18/05/2019.
AJ Farruco May 20
Sighmaster/
Used to be human/
Before the reoccurring/
I had a dream/
Forgot it when I woke/
Uphill battle/
I get down by jumping off/
Hit the ground running/
My mouth is tired/
Feed the motor rocks/
Bust it/
I talk like a stoner/
Walk like destruction/
Things fall apart/
As soon as I touch them/
Tortured soul artist/
Thinking is abstract/
Live like a ***/
And always feel crap/
In the deep end/
Good-for-nothing hollowman/
Looking like a castaway/
Dressing like it's Halloween/
Washed up/
Sleeping in castles made of sand/
Shipwreck in a bottlerocket/
Over your head./
14/05/2019.
AJ Farruco May 20
Small talk is shrinking/
Soon, there'll be nothing left to say/
Awkward silence/
Choking on existential dread/
Broken ice/
The future bones of former frienemies/
As throwing knives; time paradox/
Don't ask me why I'm cold/
Hypothermia/
Not here, and she knows it/
My spirit animal: a lobster in the ocean/
Of a seashell/
My real self is hidden, and/
Heavily encrypted, I/
Hack it into pieces/
Until my core splinters.../

CLAWS OUT/
SCRATCH MY BROKEN RECORD/
I'M NOT A PLAYER/
I JUST CRUSH:****:DESTROY A LOT/
MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE/
MAKE A DECISION/
WAKE UP FIFTEEN YEARS LATER/
IN A BOX/
AND EVERYBODY HATES ME/
INCLUDING MYSELVES.../

I am not normal/
I cannot talk small/
I'm thinking about cutting out my tongue/
Like Oldboy./
12/05/2019.
AJ Farruco Jan 28
Black, cracked mirror-image staring/
Who's the replica? What does it mean/
When our movements aren't in sync?/
What face am I wearing? They're all scar/
Must be hard to tell the difference/
Russian doll exoskeleton to inner-child/
We all live several lives at once/
Half-dead; contradiction don't walk/
It just talks mad ****, and lies like a dog/
In the doorway... Kick it in the ribcage/
Powerchuck puppies; butterfly knife/
Burning hole in churning stomach, crash/
Jump thru a window like a flaming hoop/
A thousand dead mosquitos on the floor/
I hate the smell of elephant/
Mouse howling at a painted moon, and/
Even if the grass were fluorescent green/
I'd still find a rabbithole to fester in/
Rat with wings perched on alligator head/
Trip wire heart string crocodile tears/
The fabric of time is a rag with holes in it/
I wear it like a ghost, and see things.../
I shouldn't, but it's never too late - atleast/
That's what I say to myself everynight/
Then can't wake up in the morning/
Sleep deprivation distorts my perception/
Black, cracked mirror-image staring./
28/01/2019.
AJ Farruco Jan 18
Timetravel, timelines/
Multiverse, alternate realities/
Déjà vu, and erased memories/
What is truth? Headspinning/
The neverending questioning of self/
But you don't even know who you are/
Or where you are, or what the time is/
You perceive prison bars, & wild things/
Why did he have to mention Berenstein?/
Allaah knows everything/
What you've done, doing, going to do/
What you could have done/
And where it would've taken you/
He is The Most Just, The Most Merciful/
If there's different versions of you/
You won't be punished for what they did/
Just what you do/
Confused yet? Who's the original?/
What if simulation is creation?/
If you're a copy, do you have freewill?/
If anything exists, it's only by Allaah's Will/
There's always a plan, and a purpose/
They question God's intentions, like/
"Why did He do this, or let that happen?"/
Because this is Earth, not Heaven/
It's not meant to be perfect/
If you don't like evil, then don't do it.../
18/01/2019.
AJ Farruco Jan 13
You don’t understand/
What’s inside of me/
Was it always there?/
Or are you a devil?/
Dragging me to Hell/
Fire me now; I am/
Unemployable/
& this is not endurable/
Dread is in the air/
It smells like megadeath/
If this is life, then/
What’s waiting for me/
On the other side?/
I malfunction/
As my Father dies/
I’m a bad Father, please/
Somebody stop me.../

Nobody listens; too busy/
With their own ****/
But when it goes down/
You all saw it coming./
15/02/2018.
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