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 Jul 2014 Victoria Ruth
A
Untitled
 Jul 2014 Victoria Ruth
A
growing up my parents warned me about drugs.
My health teachers warned me about how
Addictive
they could be

But what everyone failed to mention that some
Might come
With dark brown hair and hazel eyes
And be even more addictive than
You
Ever
Could
Imagine
You're asleep in my bed
but you're dreaming of hers.


*s.mndi
(10w poem)
 Jul 2014 Victoria Ruth
aphrodite
Busy streets of China town,
busy folks with their heads down
busy people blowing cigarette smoke.
We'll sneak past the man
and run as fast as we can
to hop on the train because we're broke.

You're sat next to a crazy
and though this Sunday should be lazy,
we've taken on another task.
You shelter me away from the homeless,
but we're too ignorant to notice
the irony as we drink from a flask.

Too young to not be reckless,
but too old to be this senseless
when it comes to ignoring the label
that illustrates blackened lungs and hearts
Still, we ask strangers for darts
to get the cheapest high available.

They say the human world is a mess,
but we'll accept nothing less
than all the adventure life has to share.
Obsessed with our youth,
unsure of the truth
but too madly in love to care.
How do some of you interpret my poems, for example, this one?
**
It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when I was crying at one a.m.
and you were no where to be found.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when I destroyed myself
and you never noticed or asked.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when you blatantly ignore me
right when I needed you the most.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
about anything having to do with me.

It became obvious to me
that I was just your puppet

It became obvious to me that I had to end it
i  base  my  worth
off of how my friends
treat  me,  how  many
beers i can drink before
the taste makes me sick,
and how many times i can
dial your old phone number
and listen to a stranger
remind me of how
disconnected
you are.
we're sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service.
when i'm awake early in the morning
i think of nothing but you
but i know you don't think of me

when i can't sleep at 3 AM beacuse i miss you
and i know you're sleeping peacefully
i hate myself a little bit more

when i finally fall asleep
i dream of you but i know
you don't dream of me

and every living moment of my day
has become a nightmare not worth living
anymore

*(c.m.h)
The walls are caving in
Darkness setting in
Not a single ray of light seeps in
But i like it.

Everyone
Everyone i knew
Everyone i had
Everyone i loved
And still love
Everyone that i gave a piece of me to
turned away
and walked away
with that piece
never looking back.
not even once,

But i like it.

Everyday
I feel as if
I am walking under clouds
That are raining knives
With the knives piercing through me
In every way it could
Just like innocent raindrops.

But i like it.

Each night
I wet my eyes
With my own raindrops
Then i shut them tight
and lock myself away
Repeating the mantra
Don't wake up.
Don't wake up.
Don't wake me up.
But when the morning comes
I will be awake
And my eyes were allowed to be opened.

I have no choice then
I have to get up
And live it away
Bleeding as i walk around
The face of this Earth.

People throwing words at me
as i walk
You need to stop.
You need to get out of this.
Lets find a way together.

But no.
This pain is a drug
That i am addicted to
And no rehab nor therapies
could fix it.

And i
Love it.
Pain is absolutely addictive.
It's that half smile of yours
the one that you make
when you're making me moan
and you're enjoying yourself
simply by making me enjoy you.
Your eyes
so concentrated
but so calm
and they look at me
like they're reading my mind
like everything I'm thinking
is written in my eyes.
Your hands move over me
like they're retracing a familiar place
like they've been there many times before
but still have so much more to explore.
You know me too well
and not at all.
You're comfortable
and amazed
all at the same time.
You love me the most
when we're all alone.


*s.mndi
I could go on forever about the faces you make in bed.
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