it's one of those nights
again where i can feel
my chest tightening up
at the thought of you
and my eyes are burning
fighting the tears that
you once promised to
never cause

when you're young you
hear all the stories about
the monsters under your
bed or in your closet or
hiding in the shadows
but no one ever bothers
to tell you about the ones
hiding in beautiful eyes
and unforgettable smiles

it's almost funny how as soon
as i think i've got something
good it gets torn out of my
life and i'm reminded that
nothing is permanent

sometimes i'm not even sad
i just lose all motivation
and then people think i'm
ignoring them and i guess
i am and in my head i'm like
"respond to them get up do
something anything stop just
staring at nothing" and the
entire rest of me is like "sit
back down it's easier to withdraw
yourself when you're completely
mentally detached"

i wish i could tell
you what's wrong
but i don't even
know why i'm
crying anymore
and i have no idea
why i'm folding up
inside
all i know is i just
want it all to stop
*please

i'm so tired and i
can't shake this
heavy feeling in
my chest
i've lost the desire
to get out of bed
and talk and be
social
all i ever want to
do is sleep because
just being awake is
exhausting
i've been trying to
make everyday and
myself better but it's
so hard to connect
with anyone
i want to go home

i think i'm forgetting
how to talk i'm losing
my words in all of the
tears and blood and its
getting a little harder to
stand up without falling
over i don't know if i can
be saved at this point but
it would be nice if someone
tried to pull me above water