i know i'm sad most
of the time and also
usually hard to deal
with but you do it
and you make me
feel like i'm on top
of the world and i
don't think i've ever
been so thankful for
one person in my
entire life

it's been hard to
sleep since you
gouged out the
hearts in my eyes
and replaced them
with waves of tears

you offered me food and
got angry at me for declining
and you thought you were
helping by forcing me to
eat in public places and
laughing when i couldn't
and you thought you were
a riot when you were
making hundreds of
weight jokes but truth
be told i was never worse
than when i endured the
months of torture i did
when i called myself
*yours

i'm trying to keep
my head above the
water but the waves
you've been creating
are brutal and i don't
know how to swim

i'm staring at the iv bag
praying it would just
empty faster but i know
that'll do no good and
it'll take at least another
two or three hours and
you're sitting in what
looks to be the most
uncomfortable chair
in the world and i
invite you to lay on
the most uncomfortable
hospital bed in the world
with me but you said you
didn't want to take up too
much space and crush me
but to be honest i don't
think i'd mind being
smothered by you
i'd still love you

it's three-thirty AM and
i'm trying to pull myself
together and i'm putting
on a pretty good act but
it's getting harder and
my skin is only getting
thinner

i thought i was okay
and all of the teary
eyed nights were
over but here i
am all alone in bed
trying not to let
things get too
bad again