All she wanted was love, all she wanted was for someone to appreciate her for who she is for someone to care for her but all she got was pain,lies,and unnecessary drama

[  ] I smile cause I know what I've been through. Behind closed doors no one Saw the tears I've cried the cuts I've hidden my broken faith hear the prays I've cried to God asking him when is my time to heal? When is my time to stop struggling? When is my time to find peace ? You see the smile not the tears you see a smile but don't know what I've don't to get it. I do my best to make everyone feel good put a smile on their face the type of selflessness I give out without asking anything in return is hard to find. I stay locked away from the Dangers of the world not from the things but the people it's the only way I'll have some type of peace. The feeling of being alone but your not alone can eat you up inside push you to the edge ready to jump you give your all to just get punched in the heart again then left to clean it up and heal yourself again these hearts are hard to find but even harder to have cause of the pain it holds on to you give so much they give so little but you do it anyway knowing the outcome. You can't vent your problems cause your the person people come to for fixing there problems so you can't show weakness a person like you can't have problems? Right you have all the answers you have more faith than me so you struggle by yourself cause what else can you do

I smile cause I know what I've been through

The wait is long but the reward is great

A little boy had a white rabbit he named it Charlie he found him in the back of this house when he was younger he have had it for so long that he became ungrateful and mistreated it one day he got away when he realized this he started to cry but it was too late
Moral of the story be grateful for the little stuff cause when it's gone your gonna regret it

When God brings you out of a dark place you will feel the shift don’t worry about how your gonna know trust the energy. Don't go back to the same place he brought you out of your too strong for that place you put grown it. It's time to climb out of another dark spot

The energy you put out is the energy you receive back
Put out positivity you get positvity back
Put out faith you get blessings
If you keep believing regardless of the odds you will manifest a path for your dreams

God doesn’t rewrite the same story twice he switches it up for everyone  to achieve the same things but in a different way

The most sinful things are the most enjoyable things

You don't have to pretty up your words to talk to Jesus you don't need a strong vocabulary to get his attention it says in Matthew 6:7
“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phases as the gentiles do for they think that they will be heard for their many words.” Jesus is your friend so talk to him like one he wants to have a relationship with you. Here the great thing about Jesus and there are many amazing things about Jesus but let's focus on one now everyone is welcome to talk to Jesus he turns down no one no matter what you do or what you have said before you can talk to him

Have you ever felt invisible to the world? Your friends? Your family? Nobody knows your name and it makes you feel alone. Good news god has a plan for you he's gonna put you in a position you never thought you would be in. They might look down on you now cause your not where there at their gonna be looking up at you soon. God puts you away so he can build you up and use you for his victory his purpose cause after all this life this body is not ours it's his so don't feel bad for not being the popular kid God don't see numbers he sees your heart.

Father God, I recognize that lack of trust is ultimately a sign of pride, and so I ask you to uproot it remove the behavior and thought patterns that prevent me from recognizing and doing your will. Change the way I can take part in building your kingdom in Jesus name. Amen

I’ve been reading a lot about thoughts and how to control them I’ve also prayed a lot asking god to transform my thoughts and he’s showing ways I can do that by sending me videos on my YouTube feed and a lot more I’ve also learnt that you can achieve anything just by changing your thoughts

Stress doesn't come from life I comes from your thoughts. Have you ever seen a person in a worst situation than you happier than ever? And it makes you think if that was me I would go crazy. The difference between you and that person is that person is making the best of it in life it depends on how you react to trials. A negative reaction gets a negative outcome a positive reaction gets a positive outcome. It's all about your mindset in life before you work out you have had to have your mindset on it either from the day before are when you got up. Sometimes you may think if I had more I would be more content truth is all the money in the world can't make you happy if you're not at peace with yourself. Its not about where you are it's where your going.

Let the past be the past and the beginning of a new adventure

God use people you wouldn’t think of to show his glory
God use your situation to show his glory

Looking in all the wrong places to filled my disturbed heart
I find what I'm looking for but I'm not filled so I look for something else to take it's spot I need something stronger  something permanent to keep me from searching for something else so I found a higher greater spirit to fill my heart
I'm still learning how to depend on that spirit and only that spirit

Be grateful for what you have
Pray for what you don't have
But before you are pray for it be grateful for what you have

The strength your skin holds no one can touch it's a pity they don't know you already won black beauty your skin shines in the sun without trying natural thick hair and hard to break down curves in all the right places beautiful black women you don't need no additive your already the Queen take your crown and shine

There are rewards through everything we go through even when the going gets difficult and you fall get back up and go again

I will not let my struggles burden me when I know god is greater than my struggles

What ever you fear has what you want on the other side attack your fears to get your gift from god

Some of the best things are untitled

Confidence is not needing validation
Confidence is believing in yourself
Confidence is being alone and not feeling alone
Confidence is enjoying your own company
Confidence is accepting yourself even with the insecurities
Confidence is you you define your confidence you define your **** don’t let others do that for you

Humble yourself whatever you received can be taken away from you just like how it was given to you

You don’t need their appreciation
You don’t need their validation
You don’t need to prove yourself
You don’t need them to tell you your worth you don’t need it when you know who you serve he will tell you all this

Sometimes I feel like it’s bad being different like it isn’t gonna bring me anywhere
I think about my friends life and then mine all the things they’ve done I’ve either never did or did it once and never liked it
It almost makes me feel Like a child but I’m learning how to shut out the outside noise and to live my life the way god wants me to it’s a struggle sometimes but I have god with me to pull me through

If you woke up you have a purpose gods not done with you
Yeah your going through hard times now but it won’t last you will be delivered soon gods got a plan for you trust him

Shut up ! Whatever you been asking for god is working on it stop worrying so much enjoy life

Some people say just ignore it and move on but if you do that then you won’t heal from it you push it to that side and your happy for the moment but when it gets triggered you feel empty again it’s better to sit in your pain and deal with it then and only then you will be able to move on

I am not worthy of your blessing
I’ve fallen from your hand of glory
But you don’t see me for my sins
You see me as your child
You died on the cross to pay for my sins for that I’m thankful
Thank you for sending down your son to save us
Your name holds a power like no other I will bless your name

Sometimes things have to change mentality  before it changes physically

Cause there’s a light in Jesus that keeps me alive your never ending power your everlasting love
There’s power in your name to all my brothers and sisters out there your going through it but keep hope alive he’s sees you he hears your prayers your not alone he will save you when the time is right and when he does lift your hands and praise his name

You limit yourself because you don’t believe to limit yourself is to limit your creator you insult your self cause of their opinion to insult yourself is to insult your savior put your faith,hopes,desires,fears and strength in god today and watch your life change

When I think about my god the favors and blessings on me my worries fade away like a writing in the sand when the water comes to give a visit I no longer have to fight my own battles cause you fight for me through hard times , good times and bad time you stick by me when I feel like your doing nothing for me you assure me so to day I leave my life to you cause I know I service a great god and I know you have a plan for me

There’s a cloud of rain coming my way no worries though cause I have a shelter above to clear my path

There a hole in the bottom of the bucket but I didn’t notice but in that moment I realized it’s in comparison with my bleeding heart it’s been pouring out and I didn’t notice

Baggie pants white T-shirt hair faded on the side they say I’m gay cause I dress like a boy I say it’s just clothes theirs no gender on the tag I wear what I want I like who I am I like my hair my style but I’m not boy they don’t like it they say act like a girl but this is just who I am

One minute ago I was feeling everything now I feel nothing

No one sees the pain that captivate me hear my cries hear my heart pounding and begging for a soul mate no one sees my dreams for a family shattering to the ground it’s my heart against my brain and my brain has won hiding myself from love and intimacy because of insecurities thinking back to things I can’t undo or change makes my pain worse slowly breaking down for the 100th time I think I might be at my breaking  point I try to stay strong and let go some days it work and other days it hurts ignore the hurt to be ok but there’s only so much I can bottle up sooner are later it’s gonna explode crying in my room again but I know tomorrow I’ll just ignore the pain again ripped to pieces no body sees this I give out advice make sure their alright  but I’m dying inside put on a strong face to keep everybody happy but deep inside I’m dying I check in to make sure your alright but ignore me at all times.

I’m blind to all the love you show but I can see all the deception in you I’m sorry if I don’t know how to accept the love you show me after all I see around me is darkness filled with pheromones of pain i overthink and don’t say much I’m my thoughts I store in a jar that once had clear water as now turned dark I can’t help but hurt it’s all I know

Sometimes the most risky things in life are the best moves to make take a risk with out worries of the after effects

Like a rose your smell is sweet and relaxing the blood in my veins run red like your color like a rose the love in my heart for you runs deeper than it’s thorns but just like a rose you caused me hurt you used your thorns to draw my blood and make it your own then I think to myself how can something so beautiful so rich in smell and pigment cause so much hurt ?

Same words same meaning different phrases our minds goes round and round repeating the same routine like the universe

Sealed and shut tight just a door to open up I sit in this room for hours starring at these motionless walls I see them so much I can tell you what changed not social but I’m not scared I grow up a loner I can’t help it I’m not an open book you can’t tell who I am from one look just like my thoughts my life’s a mystery too  they try to understand me try to change me try to see thought me but I’m like a brick wall how will you see through me ? If these wall could talk they would tell you my heart

You hold my valuable information like a laptop every thing I search for in this world you have it all with out even knowing it when I’m ill I come searching for you a connection so strong only a power outage can stop our connection all my information from my music to my photos to all my researche that  I keep hidden you hold it all your the connection i never thought I needed. Your my lap top love

Words can’t explain what my eyes have seen
The pain it holds
The tears it cried
One look in my eyes and you wouldn’t notice the pain nor the truth it hides

strong enough to stand on my own two feet wise enough to know what's wrong and what's right young enough to do what I want but old enough to follow instruction bold enough to admit when I am wrong human enough to let go of the past.

Come close
Closer , closer
Relax stop overthinking
What do you see ?
Everything is much more beautiful when you don’t overthink right ?

When I write I forget the world and my worries real or fake
Imaginary or reality it doesn’t matter cause I get lost in the passion I get lost in the thought the rhyme, beat, and lyrics it gives me a feeling anything else is unable to give me
I write because it’s my passion, my dream and my talent.