...that life is a blank canvas
after I've
pawned my paint and
brushes
for a bitter cup of coffee
and a bus pass.

It was Friday.

I did it again,
but just enough to numb the pain

to wake me up from a bad dream.

am doin' my best ever since..

bcs I fear
that one day

I might not scared of the most unknown.

You're ready, you say, oddly proud
take
my face in your hands before you draw
ceremonially
two lines with *******, two lines of white on each of my cheeks, nodding earnestly
smiling ever so warmly as if saying
I'll be only a few steps behind, if not closer for now
all the time
my eyes ask of you
all the time yes all the time your presence
answers, reassures
and I detach
not detach
and take a step forward into the snow
the cold where I can see my breath forming clouds
and it is not cold at all
it is not cold

I am still here,
It's somehow disturbing,
Even for me.

the very first time i looked up to the sky,
it was dark, and it was scary— still, i tried.
the world was so cruel, and my mind was in chaos
but someone told me, “it’ll be the most brilliant darkness in our eyes”

darkness has never felt this comforting before
so warm, it feels like home. so accepting it feels like a hug.
since then, i never took my eyes off darkness
because i know, it’ll be the most brilliant in our eyes.

I can love myself so much better
comparison steals my ability to see my beauty
I spend so much time loathing
I don’t know what to compare myself to anymore

In my mind you just arrive
like a surge of a wind,
why am I so crazy for you?
Is the question I ask to my mind.

At times, I lose all control,
on myself without no reason.
And that's the moment when,
I miss you most with no real reason.

I sometimes wonder,
whether to grab a moment,
And spend my time precious,
under the sparkling moonlight.

The way the stars shine
in the dark of the night.
I promise to shine for you,
In our relationship forever bright.