I laid down my life
Like a red carpet
For your beauty
To tread upon,
But you tracked
Filth and rot
Across it
And now
I am ruined

When I see the saints
Casting shadows of thorns

When I see smiles
Hiding cuts

When I see bravery
Huddled in the corner
Crying out its soul
And begging
Pleading
For help

I bite my tongue

A burning
Raging
Fire

Deep within my soul

Let it lick my bones clean
And let the ashes blow away.

To say you did right
When the world is full of wrong
To say you made it even
That you were the hero all along

A liar your whole life
Manipulative as can be
How foolish you were to think
You could ever justify hurting me

You came back
With a vengeance

I must not have buried you
Deep enough

Part of me wishes
You would love me
But another part of me
Wants you far away
Where I can never hurt you

Maybe it's for the best.

My patience,
My love,
My heart,
My soul,
My strength.
Can we have a moment of silence
For all that I've lost?

Pierced the skin
Dug in deep
A festering wound
Seeping blood
A gruesome picture
They all look away
Can someone help
To ease the pain?

Hold your hands out in the darkness
Trying to hold on to shadows
Cast against a pitch wall
Little light shone through the cracks
Between his fingers

Kept in a cage neither one of us created
Doomed to a fate too far apart to embrace
Folded over on itself
In a maze of emotions
Lost in a sweltering desert of misery

Some day still
You will find me

Sinking sand
Fills my lungs
And the dead hands
Drag me down

Yet I still feel lighter
Than I ever did when you were around

Deep within a chasm
Where light has never shone
Where the monsters lurk
Waiting to tear flesh
That is where you came from

Time and time
Time and time
Again and again

Time and time
Time and time
I'm just getting tired

I kissed you while you slept
And stroked your soft cheek
And dreamed of a world
In which I'd still be there
When you woke up
But I only exist
In the sweet hours
Between dusk and dawn,
While the world lies
Still.

It was a void, a great emptiness
Spinning
Twisting
Clenching
Deep inside of my gut

It was disbelief
Shock
Pain
Denial
Could he really be gone?

They tried to comfort me
Encouraging
Believing
Hoping
But it all fell on deaf ears

Because I was now without him.

Forgive me for being bold
Or rather don't
Because I'm done being silent
It's time for me to say my piece

I'm not worthless
No matter how hard you tried
To make me believe I was
I knew I was special

I dont have trophies and awards
But I've got plenty of stories
That would put your boasts
To shame

It's not a competition
For me like it always was for you
But in comparison it's easy to see
Who the bigger person is here

It wasnt the grown man
Screaming at a trembling child,
It was the strong girl
That learned to love herself.

Thank you.

Closing
My lungs are closing
My mind is racing
My heart is pounding
My world shattering
My hope failing
My eyes shutting
Once and for all

Tugging
Always tugging
Holding me back

Holding me back from so much.

Happiness
I never knew
And never will

A diamond in the teeth
Of a demon
Untouchable
But mesmerizing

A warning in the midst
Of a hurricane
Too late to run
But who would want to?

I took a trip down a narrow lane
One that appeared abandoned and desolate

I passed faded faces and empty smiles
I had never seen more sadness

So how could it bring me here?
How could such sadness lead to such beauty?