melancholicreator

Nov 2019

Toothache

You'll notice him in the busy streets of Peru, dodging vendors and laughing like the sun.
You'll notice her at a small diner past 2 a.m, lost in thought, melancholy notes on their smile.
You'll notice him on a cobble corner wearing bold colours and singing about the lives he's lived and the fools he's loved.
You'll notice her on mountain peaks, soaking in the wind with twigs in her hair.
You'll notice him weaving flower crowns and writing in his journals, squinting into the hot sky with dew on his lips.
You'll notice her kneeled on the side of the road, comforting a small animal with the voice of sweet honey.
You'll notice them, dancing at sunset, colours streaking across their face.
You'll notice them running through meadow fields in the early hours of the morning.
You'll notice them laughing like the wind, smiling like velvet, with whispfill sparks in their eyes as they sit by the waves at dawn.
They are the sun and the moon
The sky and the sea
Fire and the ice
They're not likely to tell you who's who,
In fact they're not likely to tell you who they are at all.
But even without the spoken reveal
Even without the clarity of meaning,
When you see them.
You'll notice

#sun #moon #sky #love #rich #life #world #gods #godess #sea

Nov 2019

youcancallmesierra

social anxiety

outcast
they say
go away
with their eyes
those looks
will always be louder
than their words
do they meet in secret
to plan my demise
or are they perfectly evil
on a whim
social situations
have never been
my strength
but this
this is not on me
is it?

Nov 2019

Pearl Feldman

May happiness be with you always

May your life stretch out before you
As a rainbow, on which you glide,
In health, joy and happiness.
May you walk
Through fields of flowers,
And see beauty
In the way things are.
May the love I have for you
Warm you.
May there always be
Someone close
To share love with you,
And wipe your tears away
With their kisses and caring.
May you never make the mistake
Of punishing yourself, or others.
May you be free to
Throw away early conditioning,
Which might separate you from yourself.
Allow the light and wisdom
Which lies deep in your subconscious
To be set free.
May you see your life's purpose
And create and fulfill your destiny,
May happiness be with you always.

melancholicreator Nov 2019

nameless

what do you call this?

this ******* void, this deep hole
dug up by us both in each other
i know you feel this too
we share this now, as we shared all else

my phone plays your favorite song
as i'm out for a run

cars on the road start moving faster and i'm thinking
if the hit would hurt less if i close my eyes

****** by this absence of you

this isn't love,
this is the feeling you get
after it leaves.

-melancholicreator

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#void #nameless #heartbroken #heartbreaker #brokenheart #alone #lonely #****** #love

melancholicreator Nov 2019

relapse

my eyes are drawn
to your white lettering
and black label.

my soul is rather
fired up by that
substance inside you.

my lips,
by the taste.

“don’t do this to yourself, you’ve been good all this time.”

“you’ve been steering clear, you’ve been attending your meetings.”

i tell myself, as i reach in
my pocket and rustle through
the chips i‘ve collected all
this time as reward for
learning to live without you.

but ****.

that smell. the way you feel inside me.
the way you make my head shake.

the way you make me forget.

you taste of liquor, my dear, and i’m a recovering alcoholic.

oh ****, i’m sorry...correction.
was a recovering alcoholic.

so a toast,
to your wonderfully devilish eyes,
and to another relapse.

-melancholicreator

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#relapse #relapsing #alchohol #alcoholic #hopelessromantic #hearbroken #heartbreaker #love #lover

melancholicreator Nov 2019

misunderstood beauty

i know you’re your own poison,
my love.

the things around you
place a bright
spot light
upon your soul
and expect a certain behavior

this makes you hate yourself
makes you feel heavy at every step
makes you snap at the
lightest presentation of stress
and it’s been killing you
for a long time

but to this, you fight back
with every drop of sweat and every tear
even while you bleed
even if you feel like breaking down
you continue

while the one you trusted let you down
while your dreams seemed far fetched
while you didn’t want his touch
but he said
“babe, let’s”
while you watched the disappearance
of your pure crown
you maintained a smile

you didn’t need anyone or
anything, your self sufficient self
raises every single hair
on my body
every part of me
admires you, it just
wishes you knew your wealth

no one understands
but i can see
i can see your unsteady breath
as your anxious habits kick in
at full speed
and i want to be there
to catch you as you fall
and bring you right back up

people convince themselves
that because of your past
that you’re the same person
that you haven’t changed at all
this makes you feel alone

i want you to know that i can
see it all
i can see the tears you hide
see the tales full of white lies
that you tell the world
just to get through the day

but what you don't know is
that i don't just glance, or stare
but become completely submerged
by your essence that i simply
admire and smile
because as you suffer
i’ve waited patiently for you
to glance at me
that way i’d be able to gain grip
of those beautiful glimmering eyes of yours
and say
“hey, it’s okay”

you are strong
you are exquisite
you are top of the line
baby girl
i’d be wrong
to let my words sink into my being
without hearing
what you think about
you being mine

my mind has memorized every
inch of you, duly
know i'm not like the rest, and i'm here to
listen and to stay,
you misunderstood beauty.

-melancholicreator

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#beauty #misunderstood #love #lover #lovers #fighter #fight #poison #help #depression

melancholicreator Nov 2019

rain rain go away

it poured that night.
so much so that it seemed
that god knew he was
in pain.

he wielded his weapon,
gripped it in guilt,
he wanted to sin.

he was alone.
so he felt a solemn comfort.

the type of comfort that
hurts
the heart and accompanies
the soul.

he could not wield his
weapon any more.
he could no longer
fight this treacherous
war against the enemy.

himself.

so he held it up,
just enough
to aim at the
source.

just enough to mask
the cries and the tears
and the pain
with the rain

as it poured, and poured, and poured.

he called god’s name,

but it just poured.
and poured.
and poured.

until his cries were no longer,
as they had finally ended.

as they fled from the sentence
of life and blended with
the lonely droplets on
his window.

and it poured, and it poured, and it poured.

and he called out one last time,
and finally made a decision
that night after god’s absence
was made clear.

and suddenly, there was no more sorrow.
no more pain, no more fear, no more shame.

simply, peace.

as the red painted a beautiful
piece on the window.

and then the rain
stopped.

-melancholicreator

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#melancholy #sad #depression #depressed #suicide #rain #shame #pain #painful #god