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A lifetime, yet just yesterday,
does not seem very far away.
When time was young and I was free
to be who I was made to be.

The eyes behind which I now hide
can’t show the sadness held inside.
This girl screams out for all to hear
in silent torture, hers to bear.

The shell of which I‘d been before,
has led me through a different door.
To dream of love another day
Just waiting to be blown away.

Upon this face the lines are etched
in bold to let all others guess.
The meaning of the truth I seek
to heal the very heart of me

I search to end this awful pain
that always lets me cry in vain
While loneliness my lifelong friend
has led me down this road again.
All poems are copy written and sole property of Vicki Kralapp.
 Nov 2019 Weedy pops
Sara
It became a long
and drawn out mess.
You push me back, I'd pull you in
just to counteract the loneliness.

I don't really want you,
I'll confess.
I just want things that I'm not meant to;
the feel of forbidden sweetness.

I will wear a little less,
each time you say no more;
just as you feel like you forget,
you'll smell the smoke beneath your door.
Sorry if this offends anyone?
I sit alone beside the window,
rain falls through the trees outside
striking the leaves in mathematical fashion
tearing apart the stone below with molecular passion

Multiply the endogenous disease I carry in my lungs
I am loved
Sweep the sparking lead under the rug
I am loved
Transpose the heart burdened with grief for the young
I am loved
Our lives in succumbing to decay
we watch them every single day

We sit silent in repose
Our voices lost in the storm
We sit silent in our bones
Our bodies forgotten, hosts to the swarm

I am breathing, not living
I am breathing, not living now
My life lost in the separated sounds
of breaths gasped before I drown
in this white knuckled slumbering tomb
beneath the hallowed ground
 Oct 2019 Weedy pops
Jack Jenkins
Today my heart decided to weight down in my chest to keep me grounded in reality. Reality that I love and I hate just as I love and hate myself for reasons only understood if you walked where I walked.

The sun stretched her rays across my face and somehow it reminded me of her, the subtle glow she had at times when everything just felt right. She was a sunset waterfall on a clear summer evening.

God, the thoughts in my head that are stuck like a spin cycle. I fall asleep loving her, wake up missing her, and live every day without her. That thing I mentioned earlier, reality, says she's gone but my heart still says no.

So let me write about everything inside that makes me feel so hollow. She was everything I invested in but could not impress so instead she impressed on me that she wasn't the one for me like she knew better. Maybe darling, we both are wrong.
//On her//
 Oct 2019 Weedy pops
Jack Jenkins
I'm okay with not being okay
and that's okay
I didn't want to wake up
and face the day today
Didn't want to be alone again
Surrounded only by empty air
and voices in my head
Telling me they've told me
For the millionth time to let go
and I hold on tighter
Let it out but keep the leash on
Let it leech my hopes out of me
But that's okay I guess
I promise I'm okay
Even when I'm not
//On anxiety and depression//
 Oct 2019 Weedy pops
Jack Jenkins
it lingers
hovers
encircles me
this simple fear
in the twilight of my reflection
your face
your voice
not the same as my memory
im afraid
i have forgotten you
not your memories
but you
hold my breath in my lungs
to replicate your hugs
it's not the same
am i the one who changed?
i don't remember you as you are
but as you were to me
the painting on the walls
the halls of my loneliness
the emptiness of my heart
still love you always
still love you always
//On her//
ALL things uncomely and broken, all things worn out
and old,
The cry of a child by the roadway, the creak of a lum-
bering cart,
The heavy steps of the ploughman, splashing the
wintry mould,
Are wronging your image that blossoms a rose in the
deeps of my heart.
The wrong of unshapely things is a wrong too great
to be told;
I hunger to build them anew and sit on a green knoll
apart,
With the earth and the sky and the water, re-made, like
a casket of gold
For my dreams of your image that blossoms a rose in
the deeps of my heart.
Love was knowing our first touch
in that dimly lit room
just the two of us
and the sound of quiet charm
your lips meeting mine
and the way you gazed at me
Love was knowing you were there
Love was just the two of us
and our delicate touch
Love was...
You.

Love was not this taste of leftovers
or my tears falling to my lips
or the way I crave a delicate touch
and the safety of your arms
or the comfort of your warmth
Love was not the way you abandoned ship
Love was not supposed to be like this
Love was to be around you
Love was how I fit with someone I barely knew
Love was...
You.
2/8/18
 Sep 2019 Weedy pops
ryn
Repair Me
 Sep 2019 Weedy pops
ryn

Fix
me•
Mend
me•Stitch
me•Overhaul
me•Amend me•
Alter me•Modify me
•Enhance me•Patch me•
Adjust me•Heal me•Correct
me•Reform me•Shift me•Renew
me•Remedy me•Rebuild me•Aid
me•Assist me•Change me•Rectify
me•Troubleshoot me•Revive me•
Assemble me•Calibrate me•
Service me•Love me•
Repair me
In dire need of servicing and maintenance... Spare parts are in short supply...
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