Aborigines in the Australian outback  
Among starving dingoes

A drug deal going on behind the bowling alley
And a butterfly knife waiting to be put into someones gut

Show some skin
Then maybe you will get somewhere at the customer service desk
Buyer beware, consumer keep cautious
Lay waste to that place and get your money back

They sold you an amphibian and told you it was a marsupial
The clerk wrote your inconvenience off as null

Off in Puerto Rico there's a cockfight
Pass the bug replant
Dos cervezas por favor
It's a steel cage grudge match
Brought to you by the courtesy of some man who's name I cannot pronounce
I got my invitation to this thing in a basket of tropical fruit
Someplace near substructure homes

I see a man in a bandanna looking at me
He turned out to be a free lance astronomer who has a thesis on starry quadrilaterals in the sky
He thought by betting on the bigger rooster he would hit pay dirt
But it was I who met pay day when I bet on the smaller, faster one

The astronomer had so much hate in his eyes I thought his corneas were going to burst
Be pulled out a blade and chased after me and all my winnings with the intent to puncture my torso and pillage my pockets

But had to go see a man about a horse named "Nunya"
Luckily I got away clean to tall the tale

Are you ready for the main course?
Prepare the condiments
Thin oven mitts
Teas cozies
Lace doilies

It's just a decoy
Here lies the kid who was left home alone while is parents visited The North Pole

Try to consolidate the front door
And here's a laxative called LSD to aide your constipated mind
Now go on with the insurrection
And fight Parliament for the sake of the proletariat
Who's names are always written in lower case lettering

The limousine drivers
The skrimpers
The savers
The single mothers with bad habits who have to dance off skimpy clothing to buy formula for their babies because they're milk is tainted with junk

The weary recipients of justice obstructions
And catch 22's
Who have been singled out because they have monetary deficits

Console them
Until Eureka!
Grab some Q-tips and clean out your ears
Stop gritting and grinding your teeth
A new realization  is in bloom

When did be aware turn into beware?
When did alertness become fear?

Forget and get over your
Remanding-accursed-sweet-tooth-fatigue-that you let in
Because it's all in your head along with the idea that hyphens make things look more important and scary

I contest all that *******

Check the yellow pages
And the funny papers
We gotta find those contact lenses that will change our brown eyes blue
Then promenade to the place

Whatchya got on tap?
Lemonade?
Give me the recipe

That's a odd catch phrase you got there, "I'll **** you with a railroad spike!"

Tell me how the worldwide aficionado only got the bronze metal

She cries at the drop of a hat
Now they've revoked her drivers licence  

He's eating flower petals, that man in the corner over there
He's in for a rude awakening
That's poison oak or is it poison ivy?
Either way that's his lot in life

The man from the nuclear power plant comes in and tells m to get welded as he slaps some roadkill on the counter with great hubris

He told the cook to fry it up so no one here would have to eat processed, pasteurized, homogenized, hydrogenated genetically modified food with an appeasing garnish on top  

Mmm tire marks
Tastes like this thing has been through the marsh
Some kind of wetland

Before I leave someone yells from the back, "You want the weather? Look up an hope for the best!"

Help Wanted
Inquire Within

The Packrat has morphed into a hoarder
I tried to removed the monkey in a suite off his back and put it in he barrel with the rest of them even though it wasn't my business, although I was its uncle

Get in

A quaint little bungalow
Where sweltering heat is a constant
"There's coffee on the back burner, ya want some?"

It was a blessing in disguise
A bona fide  slice of paradise

We read up on the complex of Oedipus Rex and the debate of moral fiber when talking about Ped Xing

We hopped on to a plane going to Pismo Beach and joined the mile high club then enjoyed clams on the half shell  

We listen to a dollar fifty nickelodeon
And talked about how music is dead because everyone is just na na naing and yeah yeah yeahing their way to the top of the pop charts  

Over a *** pie
I confessed my love
His rebuttal seemed abysmal to my sleeve dwelling heart

He said this was an unnatural habitat for him
And if we were to be together it would raise eyebrows
Tarnish his illustrious reputation

It was an unanswered prayer
After all the whatnots and whathaveyous
He got sick and died of AIDS about a year and a half later
He never came out

Dodged a bullet there on that one

I have been swindled!
They took my bags at check-in but never gave me a room key
Now I'm back home mailing packages to myself
And writing a negative review of that place to put a blemish on their record

Back to headquarters
This it your last chance
I will not allow myself to get hoodwinked on this deal
This is an open letter

Dear Ocean Foam Resort,

When I stayed at your place of rest and relaxation the first time it wasn't that bad. I mean, the neighbors we're louder than anything. And the people above me aired out their ***** laundry on the balcony every morning while i was trying to drink my coffee. I recall hearing the wife confessing that she was cheating on her husband with a co-worker to her mother over the phone. I can also recount two God awful parents I saw by the pool, they let their children scream and run around disturbing the other guests. Actually they let the run around so much and I guess never fed them, because one of them got light headed and passed out into the deep end of the pool. One of your staff members had to save her because the parents we're bust sun bathing. Then there was the man below me, he wasn't a bad person. Far from it but he had to be the most unfortunately hideous people I've ever seen. He had skin tags on his eye lids, warts on his neck, boils on his legs and arms. Then there was the constant disturbances coming from the late teen- early twenty-something year old guests. They were on what seemed like a two week drinking binge. Blasting music all night, having too many people come to their room and having all night long ******. The head pounding music, the worrisome benders and the moaning that went on until the early morning was too much for me. I'm saying this as a guest who has been to your resort for the past seventeen years every year, the first chance you get tear down your place of business because it has become a rat hole where no one should go or ever be near. Now you've stolen my luggage and refused to give it back to me and you have refused to let me stay in your resort. But I'm happy about that after rethinking it, keep the luggage and go **** yourself. So, Ocean Foam Resort enjoy falling apart and going out of business.

Sincerely,

Ron Dempsacot

This is no time for mudslinging
Or complimentary pillow chocolates
We're here to scour these head stones to make this bone yard look more lively
Now, get over your shell shock and let's get to it  

You know our motto
"They drop, we mop!"

And our slogan
"Dead as a door nail, clean as a whistle"

Adjust your bifocals
And allow this to soak in
There is nothing to fear here
I know it's creepy but we have a job to do and a name to uphold

I'm telling you in advanced, at night you might be on edge since you're new

There are no walking dead zombies here or ghost or ghouls
They've all been neutralized, passed on, embalmed and buried
If not they will ring the bell beside they're grave and the gravedigger will come and do some excavating

I know death strikes a chord with you after that accident at that donkey show in Juarez but it'll be fine

I have not disclosed any information from you, all is well

Except the fact that this is a cursed ancient Indian burial ground
Where witch doctors are put in the ground and their spirits come and work black magic on all those who tread here

Okay bye!

The backseat driver's lips began to chap
And his jaw locked
Thank you Based God

The people pleasers asked to hitch a ride
They had no mode of transportation
And the lack of communication coming from the backseat driver was concerning them even more

I thought I was about to be bamboozled when they started to clean the interior

I decided to pull over and check out an antique store on the side of the highway

They had used toothpicks used by President Eisenhower
The word "Anagram" in all upper case letters made of lacquered balsa wood

While we were there I tossed out all my unpaid speeding tickets  

Then I saw a sign the said "Continental breakfast $2.50!! 3 miles thata way!!"

I zoomed to the diner and ordered that continental breakfast for the backseat driver, the people pleasers and myself

We each received one coffee, one buttered roll and one danish

We all had the same irritated, sour look on our faces

We flipped the table in disbelief

Attacked the waiter and held the innocent patrons hostage with a fully loaded sling shot
And demanded the cook whip us up a gross of spinach horderves

As we left the back seat driver called shot gun
So we all pilled in with our horderves
And I gunned it to 95
The backseat driver held on to the "oh **** handle" for dear life as the people pleasers cheered me on with their mouths full

On to Massapequa

I've never gotten a chain letter
Or a parcel marked "fragile"

But I've been told to "get out" by many frustrated people
And "come in" by welcoming hosts

I've never been a negative on the cutting room floor
And I've never been particularly choosy on pizza toppings

I don't think I've been a victim of voodoo, but then again how would I know?

I once curtailed my friend's jail sentence by testifying

I've been told everything I know about life is complete horse hockey

I've been the odd man out but I always manage to even things out

I've never not been able to get myself out of a Chinese finger trap

And I have never, most certainly not ever been a white knuckle driver

It was a five finger discount
Just a benign theft
It wasn't hurting anyone
Besides, it was going to look good in my breakfast nook

I put on my "cross your heart" seat belt and jetted home
It was a beautiful coffee mug crafted by Incas
It wasn't like I looted the store

I now refer to it as my stolen-Incan made-oversized coffee mug

But I guess I should have seen the warning label

"ATTENTION THIEF, THIS MUG IS CURSED BY ANCIENT SPIRITS! AND IF YOU DARE KEEP THIS MUG ALL THINGS DRANK OUT OF IT WILL CAUSE YOU HORRIBLE PAIN AND SUFFERING"

Now every time I have my morning coffee it either tips over on to my lap or gives me a sudden case of the runs

Women who think like men
Men who act like children
Children who act like they're forty and think they're adults

I opened the box to find a crudely written IOU on the back of an expired Domino's coupon
We tried to assimilate the whole thing
My co-worker made a long distance phone call

It was to the peanut gallery
They told her she should have put another quarter in the parking meter so she could have avoided the fine

"Fredrick Brown"
Said my boss
That was the name he gave us when he made the reservation
Sounded like pseudonym the chiseler made up on the spot

But all he ate was side dishes
And a bag of corn nuts he brought in

Now the investigation was in full swing
The cops came
Asking questions
A description
A name
And what he ordered

"Burnt french fries, uncooked calamari, re fried beans, a salad with only brown lettuce, a can of cranberry sauce, a porterhouse steak medium rare with mushrooms and onions and a hot fudge sundae without any ice cream"

The officers perused the table and found that sundae and the steak were untouched
And the can of cranberry sauce was only half eaten

Days later a man was found screaming in the industrial park
Yelling obscenities and wearing a bald cap
While trying to listen to scratched skipping Cd's on his Walkman that had no batteries

It goes without saying the man was deranged

It was the very same man I waited on in the restaurant
Police only released one statement on the matter
They said when asked why he was in there in the first place
He told them he was looking for work to pay a bill the he owed to a local restaurant who had top notch service

His real name was Ercy ******

That name is now branded into my memory

The carbon copy told me he'd box my ears in if I didn't shut my mouth
His threat is concise
But I disregarded it entirely
Now I'm cockeyed
And entirely pumbled

Go on
Keep on dropping names
Insinuate that she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth
We need another you like we need a hole in each of our heads

Show me precisely where you gave it to her good
Show me the love stains on the bed sheets
We're you shooting blanks?
I think so

I'm done with this guy and all this idle blathering and his besmirching of the reputations of people he doesn't even know

Behold, the grueling chore or stripping down to your birthday suit
And listening to someone rattle off reasons why your appearance is sub-par  
Prattling about the depravity of the beautiful people
How they have to live in a world full of ugly, repugnant beings
"You seem to fit that description"
There's an elephant in the room and it's name is Irony
Depth is on the clock and shallowness is timeless

I deduce that you never got much attention as a child, and your parents put pressure on you with out considering that their callousness would rub off on you

Now you pelt those you see with insults and cruelty
When we met you came off as someone with unstable emotions
You told me that the root of all evil is the body and blood of Christ
And the expectations of your parents which they laid ahead of you we're unmet

I remember when you consummated your marriage to bitterness  
You did a banzai trip to the region of self-loathing for your honeymoon
I saw you off at the airport
You we're quasi-happy

You brought your acoustic guitar and scribbled words
Songs about undermining "The Man"
Dismantling the establishment
And grave robbing

You came back with bags under your eyes
A permanent frown
A cup that could never be filled
And a sense of superiority because you've suffered and no one could have survived what you'd been through

You told me the secret to your success was revulsion
And now you see me as scummy, worthless piece of nothing
When you yourself have become a ghost's shadow of the shell of your former self

******* my friend

I'm finally 21
I'm 21

I think it's weird how 21 is a milestone in everyone's life
Why?
Because you can drink legally?
You can now become a drunken buffoon because you'r of age now

What have I done in my 21 years of fleshy existence?

I've been born
I've been orphaned
I've been adopted

I've been picked on
I've made friends
I've made enemies
I've lost people
To death
And misunderstanding

I've been in love
I've been loved
I have loved
I've hated
I've been hated

Countless tears
Uncountable laughs

Experiences
Opportunities
Adventures
Lessons
That I'll have forever

I don't know how many cups of coffee I've drank
Or cigarettes I've smoked
Copious amounts of marijuana
And endless alcoholic beverages

I've been a lead singer in a band
A lyricist
A bass player
A cook
A dishwasher
A custodian
A student
A son
A boyfriend
A friend with benefits
An ex
A stranger
A memory
A dream

I've written many things
I've haven't written many things
I have many mistakes under my belt
I never find myself being mastered by time
Or under the gun
I see myself in cahoots with infinity

I'm just getting started
But if I was to die right now
I'd be okay, I'm grateful to be here this long
And death would just be a new thing
But to go further into life is still alright with me

I'm 21 today
But the number in my mind is a sideways eight

∞

It always looks better on paper

Drug mules
You'll be carrying a huge amount of drugs from point A to point B and then you'll get paid handsomely after they're done renting out space in your *******

You need not be worried
You need not see this
You need not be here
Get back to your horticultural ventures

Cavities in your bicuspids
They are oblong and plentiful
In terms of shapes and numbers
Moreover, the riddles are almost always to some degree atomic

But more often than not the outgoing ones refuse to falter
When asked to recite the table of elements
Or give a heartwarming speech about social ecology

Yet the quiet ones are known to surprise us
Some can give you the recipe for the best hossenfeffer you'll ever have
Some can make a record that is demanded to be put on constant replay
Or have a deep conversation with a lifelong grouch and have roaring fit of laughter as an outcome

Then there are the horses who are lead to water but die of thirst
Who are baffled with the question, "what is the difference between Taylor ham, pork roll and Canadian bacon?
And can never figure out the complex algorithms
For they are cursed with weak constitutions

"This is just another poem"
My sentiments exactly

Wail
Whine
And flail

Regale us with your colorful photographic memory
But use discretion, there are children here

We had Schnapps in a spray bottle
At the time I had the most unsightly uni-brow
And they asked us all to define the term "tongue-in-cheek"
We laughed and said, "Never go *** to mouth!"
We got suspended

We decided to pull out the heavy artillery
And painted a giant **** on the side of the school
We needed an auxiliary artist
So we hired an abstract
He spray painted "Get up and go, lay down and die"
Right on the main entrance, so incredibly serupticiously
And in such an irregular manner, as if he put every ounce of his disdain towards that institution of  lower learning in every movement
Like Van Gogh in real life live action

The next morning, hot off the press was our act of vandalism
We foiled the plans of the faculty to have a nice school day
They acted perfectly, like it was scripted
Angry, horrified and ashamed

The sound of us patting ourselves on the back was incomparable to anything we've ever felt
Even my incontinent grandmother laughed

But soon all the movers and shakers at city hall demanded the ones guilty were found
They rechecked the security footage again and again
They went through student records
It all lead to us
They picked me up while I lied drunk on top of scraps of nonsensical
writings
I resisted arrest and became a victim of police brutality
Knight sticks slammed into my chest
Tips of pointed boots driven into my stomach
And demeaning verbal abuse to my person

The aftermath was all of us serving six months in juvy
Surrounded by incompetent correction officers
And just waiting for our boys to spring us
If I had a chance to do it all over, I'd do it all again

I once had a ship in a bottle
I had on my Sunday best
When I discovered glass tasted like blood
And became bed ridden
They all came to pay tribute
And play crazy eights, each wore a poker face
Then left me to my own device

I had nothing to show for it
I held up the Eucharist and broke it in four pieces
Hold your tongue, stick it out and swallow it
Prepare yourself
For the ecumenical trip
The gaining of foresight
That you wouldn't ordinarily have

Receiving transmissions from far off dimensions
Chock full of unprecedented revelations
Share the message but do it justice
Count the follicles and the rings
Disregard the Standards and Practices
Thwart their attempts
To misconstrue the context

"There's a knife fight at the gun show"
"He's Hell bound but Heaven sent"
"Look into his glass onion"
"We know you're on the fence"
"Just write it three times each"
'Shave that mono brow!"
"We've never met someone of his caliber"

No, they can't understand
They won't
They refuse to
They think in dividends
And personal quotients

I'll go back to completing my ship in a bottle, it is far less difficult

Someone get the little Dutch boy who put his finger in the ****
This is gonna burst
I'm sorry if he's late to class
I'll write him an excuse
Go on
Unload
Taste the sweet nectar
Of the fruit we've come to find in our extensive trek
Before it rots, it's a fact of life
Incoming
The reckloose is on his way
Hitting the airwaves
Herding the sheep to be shaved and slaughtered

Can you hear his monologue?
You shouldn't
Misogyny
And stainless steel griddles
Gratuitous remarks
A complete  lack of integrity
With an equivalent affinity
For all of the Devil's advocates

       -Tommy Johnson

I can't seem to catch a break
My luck is marred by misfortune
I pass the dance squads grooving to tunes coming out of their ghetto blaster
Shaved ice and snow cones
Party foul!
Lamps busted get an adhesive

They went sightseeing
Dabbling in the art of hiking
More or less wandering
It may sound off putting to some

He is a delightful chap
He's good with wingnuts and transistors
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
Cut up the buckwheat
For an incomparable meal
Empty out the ashtrays and spittoons
The epilogues of habits
Solve improper fractions
You got nothing else better to do
Recite the silicone soliloquy

Fritter away the votes for the popularity contest
Because you've spoken your mind
Here comes The Pony Express
Here I come looking disheveled
We're all onions, peel back the layers and look for yourself
Play it by ear

We can hear you panting
The lazy work horse
With a hostile mentality
And portentous attitude
Go alphabetize the tiles in the bathroom

"Crime is common, logic is rare"
But she has defied that statement
When she waltzed in, and looked for the emergency exits
And found a sense of humor amongst her latchkey misery and love life tragedies

As the clueless boys on blue try to fill their quota
And the ones in deep thought assess situations
While putting lipstick on pigs in a blanket
During the inspection of a chalk line ****** scene

My Prozac Princess
Shooting Kamikazes
I admit, I'm emotionally unavailable
You keep looking at the time
And you've become obstreperous
Looking for press coverage and putting the peanuts in size order
I go over your poorly hidden fragility
While I work the graveyard shift

Mimes and clowns
Jesters and jokers
Making their rounds
To the chimney chain smokers

All walks of life
In chronological order
Bashful and blushing
Prepositions of stringless intimacy
Hellbent to find release

It's all folly
It's a misguided preface
The ongoing destruction of agriculture
Living under power lines
Filter feeding

Edit that
It consists of accessible ideas
"I ain't pointing fingers
I ain't naming names
But if the shoe fits
You can't call it a blame game"

Polishing off a bottle of Pinot Noir
As per usual

       -Tommy Johnson

Drop in
Just in case you missed it
Lost marbles and missing puzzle pieces
If what? But, What if?

This is my only recourse
A resource of thick accents
And made up minds
That think it's all water under the bridge

The thumping of her heart subsides
Disposable income comes naturally now
She impersonates impostors with crooked teeth and bad posture
But that's just the prelude

She foresees it all
How does it look?
"Sour grapes and low hanging fruit"
"Permanence is a myth"

Case closed
"Belly button lint and earwax"
"Pay your dues"
Outcries about fiscal responsibility

"Fill in the blanks with what you want to hear"
Fraudulent pyramid scams
Pinsetters falling for ponzi schemes
That leave them with a bad tastes in their mouths

"Lets head up to Golgotha
And rip the nails from the Penitent thief's hands
Then stick them in the Impenitent thief's eyes
Just a new number to add to our repertoire"

An unrequited love that still offers a seemingly patronizing hand of rapport
Is just another way to say "friend zone"
But you'll be dancing in the end zone
After you finally pay your student loan with money from the job you needed a degree to get which called for the loan in the first place

The salt has spilled off the Lazy Susan
Throw it over your right shoulder

Is this my alter ego?
Or do I have a split personality
Maybe this is my light skinned doppelganger
I've got to get these bats out of the belfry
I've got claustrophobic, roided-out butterflies in the pit of my stomach

Busted paper thin lips
A blood sport
Stop it from clotting
Vaccinate me

This vacuum is a rare find
The national demographic is going through culture shock
Assume a surname
Put on the gargantuan pennant
Go to the pulpit and beg for penance

Gridlock
The paleophone is cracked
Study the topography
And pay the bus fare

The squatters who are on borrowed time
Take a swig from the half empty bottle
After searching their whole lives for an even break
But are forced to cut ties and make a clean cut from society

All the lent hands and ears
Are lodged between ungratefulness and exclusive pity parties
Sweet nothings and forget-me-nots
Do a clean sweep

It's imperative to have a method to your madness
A portrayal of eccentric narcissist
Painting self-portraits
While on some kind of wonder drug
Longing for some moral support

Double-dealing
Double crossing
A hypocritical traitor
Who has the right away

I will watch your blood coagulate around the bullet holes
As your body goes into Rigor mortis
I will commit this picture to memory
I would have bet dollars to doughnuts that it wasn't you
But who wudda thunk it?

It's all just an impromptu turn on a dime
That encumbers you with cabin fever
When you're on display in a human zoo
Where unproductive bull sessions are a dime a dozen

Just put me to work
The devil inside me wants out
Let's have at it now
It's telling me to seize the day
And you're making me want it more with every word you say
"What do you wanna do?"
Tonight I wanna make you my mission
And tomorrow a memory

One chance, one shot
Just for one evening
Let's make the best of it
Let's make it last

This is a mutual understanding
This is no stings attached
It's just a one time thing
I'm not looking for a commitment
You just want to have fun
At least we're honest and upfront

One chance, one shot
Just for one evening
Let's make the best of it
Let's make it last

I think I can be a satisfying lover
******* passionate pleasure
No cheese pick up lines
I just looked into your eyes as if we both already knew

One chance, one shot
Just for one evening
Let's make the best of it
Let's make it last

What happens when law is lawless?
When unscrupulous hoodlums demolish your flawless teeth
When your home is ransacked of all your worldly possessions
And the people you know and care for are dead and gone

As God's voice mail box fills with unanswered prayers
And love is no longer enough
While people are to frightened to bring children into the world
What can you do?

Start the surge, the purge of hopelessness
Flush the lines of despicable crimes against humanity
Fill the house with meaningful moral projections

Be a God and open the lines and lend a helping hand
To those who need a shoulder to cry on
Rebuild the world with learned lessons and logical ethics
Would you?

I'm the mortician/ grave digger
Embalming your loved ones then putting them six feet under
It's a living working with the dead
But they're not dropping like they used to
And everyone needs a little push

It's nothing personal, it's just business
They're suffering is over
May they rest in peace

Do you want them buried?
Or would rather have them cremated?
Or put in the mausoleum?

It puts bread on the table
Putting them in coffins, may they never be forgotten
Give them a eulogy and a loving summary in the obituary
They were killed and the culprit was never caught
You must be so distraught, I'll set up a beautiful floral arrangement

It's nothing personal, it's just business
Sulfuric acid and a ****** knife
A candle light vigil

Do you want them buried?
Or would rather have them cremated?
Or put in the mausoleum?

Here lies another person who's time was up
Another soul taken by our Lord
They were on they're way out, all I did was merely open the door

It's nothing personal, it's just business

Do you want them buried?
Or would rather have them cremated?
Or put in the mausoleum?

Relationship statuses can be changed
But the feelings there will stay with you
It says your single but you and I both know
That we are nowhere near finished

You claim you're "So over it"
You're "So over it"?

You're a infected limb and I gotta make a clean cut
But first I need closure
Gotta make a clean cut
Get over it

What's on your mind?
What's on your mind?

I see your heart is damaged
How did you manage to do that to yourself?
It's okay just drown your sorrows
Have another drink

You claim you're "So over it"
You're "So over it"?

You're a infected limb and I gotta make a clean cut
But first I need closure
Gotta make a clean cut
Get over it

Your airing it all out, on everybody's news feed
Embarrassing yourself, it doesn't affect me
What's on your mind?

Your airing it all out, on everybody's news feed
Embarrassing yourself, it doesn't affect me
What's on your mind?

You're "so over it"
What's on your mind?
Get over it

Three years ago I was just writing simple lyrics
I was a angst ridden teenage cynic
Now I write of things with meaning
I try to create poems that are teeming
With thing that will live on for centuries
Something more than sensitive journal entries

Death to convention
Watch the empty words waste away from an unwashed window
And meaningful proclamations grow

I aim to disappoint those looking for the "ABAB"rhyme scheme
And to excite the ones who question their reality and give them wet dreams
My dry nightmare is to see the world cease to progress
And become a giant ball of ignorant **** more or less
Words can be visible but unseen or forgotten
But nothing is mightier than someone with a pencil and an opinion

Give life to new ideas
Feel the words, put yourself in all you create
Life's a wasted ticket if you're not insane

It's the third week of summer and we've had nothing but gray skies
No sunshine

Quincy Valero is in a bad way these days

He's been dumped
She wanted a kid, a ring and a promise of a life time
He said no
She left

Now, he's searching far and wide for a new dock to make port

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out three likely candidates

One who has blown hid mind on multiple occasions, and quite a few others

Another who has been straight up stalking him and begging for one night of beastly ***

The last who if he got drunk or high enough she'd do anything, unfortunately she resembled an ugly spud

The firs girl was right out, she informed Quincy that since the last time they hung out she found a boyfriend which she is dedicated to

The second girl has been on vacation since the end of the semester and won;t be back until the next one starts

The third girl is seeing some one but said she would hook up with Quincy if circumstance allowed

He has fallen into a state on unbathed sloth
Staying up until six am
Waking up at three pm
And not going to the gym

He crashed his Mustang back in Ewing
He hasn't come clean about it
His father told me
Quincy tells me it;s just sitting back at his house down there and he's too lazy to go get it

He now goes to online dating cites in hopes of getting laid

What has become of the self-proclaimed Don Juan of Dumont?

I can only pray this time of depressing desperate sadness is temporary

The flame elevates the basket
And pulls us off the ground
As we catch a few winks in the clouds
Like paper lanterns being let go
We look at the green patches of land below
While the people look up and see us float away

We sing the tune
And top the moon
And we will soon be
Above the sky

Our watch has stopped
The sun has dropped
The stars cannot reach us
Above the sky

We are all
Above the sky

We've passed the beams of Venus
And danced on the rings of Saturn
Felt the gales of Neptune
In a humble, wondering manner
We drift by the heavens for a moment
Then head to eternity

Our rainbow parachute
Will take me and you
Some place bright and new
Above the sky

Somewhere unfathomable
Unthinkable by human mind
Out of the box, outside the lines
Above the sky

Beyond existence
Above the sky

Planes of reality
Relative of planes
Aircraft
Crafted air
We're here

Let 'em hear ya in the cheap seats
In the nosebleeds

Trashed and thrashed
The stove heats up the whole house

The beauty pageant is being judged by those who have been bribed and the biased

There's no room at the inn
To the barn, I guess

Ring in the morning
As today's hectic schedule chimes in

The chimney sweep preforms rhinoplasty on a bobcat
And sends windup toys to Goodwill

I christen thee, Backwards!
Here, take this seven leaf clover for good luck

There's a town somewhere up north off of route 54
It's cheap to live there, but I wouldn't recommend it
It's streets run with greed, ****** and sin
The people there are devoid any sense of ethics
It will leave you all shocked and breathless
Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

The mayor has been in office for six terms
And in his cabinet are members of the mob
Whose fronts are local mom and pops
Where junkies like to hang out
While a mugging of an eighty four year old widow takes place around the block
Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"
       -Tommy Johnson

The youth are all in gangs that **** each other
Delinquent dropouts doing drive by's
Defiling untouched regions between innocent women's thighs
Girls making appointments for back alley coat hanger abortions
As some hate group constructs homemade bombs

Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

Diseases and food shortages
Rotten government cheese and unpaid mortgages
Call the department of health and human services
Life here is unbearable mercilessness  

Poverty and violence
Money and bullets keep those who might talk silent
Here it has come down to a simple science
The spineless **** the non-compliant for their defiance and they lay lifeless by the hands of those who commit viscous acts so mindless

Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

You may ask, "where is God or the police?"
They're doing their bi-weekly patrol
And they're both on big brother's private payroll
There is now law and order in this contaminated area
It's an unkempt, repugnant pustule in the middle of the caked-on face of America

Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

What has happened to poetry?
It's just some topic of study in English class
Remember when it was important?
When it was used to express real feeling and thought, to provoke and evoke, to paint beautiful pictures with words
Now it's "***** ****" it's "gay", "a waste of time", "tldr", "I don't get it"
People say it's too hard getting published
"No one will ever see this", "I'll never get known" And the ones who do write with hopes of getting published are either humble and talented craftsmen of words who no one takes time to read or appreciate
Or pompous, pretentious poets who use relatable themes to gain a larger audience but give them nothing of value
Nothing to hang their hat on, a plate with nothing to eat on it
I object o shock value, boring sonnets, stiff forms, Hallmark sentiments  and predictable works
**** them, poison these "writers"
Slice their bellies open, break their hands
Shoot them in the throat
Make them drink our ***** as an act of penance and save this art form and bring it back to light, along with insight and intelligence
      -Tommy Johnson

I remember it well
As if it were yesterday
We geared up and set sail
And embarked upon unfamiliar waves

It was I captaining the vessel
With One-eyed Sven my quarter master
He could cut throats and roll pretzels
His weapon of choice was his bow caster

This wasn't a mission of plundering
That alone left the crew in a state of wondering
No, we weren't looking for buried treasure
But for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather

My first mate Mr. Obanion said to me
"Captain are we off course?"
Then my boatswain , Wiley asked sheepishly
"Aren't we going for *** and ******?"

I looked them in the eye at the same time
"Gentlemen, this ship is headed to Dublin"
"We're going to see a good friend of mine"
"Now get back to your swabbing and scrubbing"

This was an order of business not some sort of cruise
I'm sailing with a ship of one track minded fools
We didn't set out on a vacation of leisure
Were on the hunt for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather

I did not mean to keep them in the dark
But they would think less of me
I needed these things
For the women I married

You see we'd been on the rocks
And I know she wanted these items
So I went over the sea with a fine tooth comb
Until I had finally found them

My men had sailed endlessly for months
They were worn down and ragged
Waterlogged and exhausted
While I always came up empty handed

But I had to save my marriage
Salvage my relationship
I knew it would work
If I gave my love these gifts

We reached the golden, calling shore
Of the beautiful Dublin
From the River Liffey and headed north
My friend Seamus let me come in

I came out shaking his hand
I was satisfied with my purchase
Until I was questioned by my men
What it was we came for in our searches

I had to show them, I was under scrutiny
I pulled out two stagecoach seat covers and a pair of pants
They were enraged and called mutiny
They blindfolded me and bound my hands

Now I'm marooned on some unmapped island
And I see my ship riding that horizon
This will sadden my wife, oh how it will upset her
She will never receive her sheep skin seat covers or her Scandinavian leather

The frumpy ragamuffin is discombobulated
And throws together an out fit
She dawns a fur coat in the middle of July
And begins to eat Alpo
She exfoliates her feet with a cheese grater

The top notch tuba player with a hook for a hand suffers from bed sores and an over active pituitary gland
I ask him what the difference is between reasons and excuses
He seems to be dancing around the question
But answers in a round about way
Implying that one is organic and natural while the other is genetically modified and man made

It's zero hour
As I look at the broken coo coo clocks
And the rainbow colored rocks

The ragamuffin presumptuously tells me that no one benefits from doubt  
Then calls my friend a bed wetter
And tells us she must go to feed her Venus flytraps
She storms back towards her laboratory

I wonder what she could possibly do in there
I'm dying to know
I'm on the edge of my seat
With one foot in the grave

The tuba player returns wrapped in an electric blanket
He tells us he's just suffered from sleep paralysis
"It's a dead zone, can't get a signal"
He goes on to say that blind faith is is a stepping stone to the truth
A game of William Tell, a stab in the dark
A round of Blind man's bluff with Marco Polo

Testing the waters is a building block of wisdom
And a clean bill of health is corner stone of a happy life
That you have to pay for out of pocket when playing the field
And we are the choices we've made incarnate

Now, the ragamuffin and the tuba player come once more
To tell us the mind is as incorruptible as the soul
But the body will bow to time and wither away
They then walk backwards, back to where ever they came

You want to know what the difference between loving a woman and loving a man is?

Nothing

Being a bisexual man I find that a few people I talk to have many questions and queries as to what it means and what it's like being attracted to both genders

Well, what I usually tell them is everyone is attractive in one way or another
And that I cannot chose only one *** to be attracted to
I do not believe there was ever a time in my life where I didn't fancy men or women

I remember thinking it was normal to like both
Until I was about six years old and kids in my class were calling each other
gay

And when I asked what that meant some kid told me it was what you call a boy who wanted to kiss other boys to make fun of them

I immediately became confused
Why would you make fun of that?
Doesn't everyone like boys?

After that I began noticing relationships within the TV shows I would watch
Girls were perused by men
And men were pined for by women

Husbands and wives

Boyfriends and girlfriends

But why?

I started to repress my attraction toward men and focused on only women

I became a womanizer by the age of eleven
A horn dog

I suppose by taking my pent up lust for men made my lust for women double

I was obsessed with ***
I just wanted to bang bang bang

Jerking off like five times a day everyday

Looking at ****

Staying up late just to watch a censored ******* commercial

******* my bed

One handed delight

I restricted myself from even looking at another boy, no matter how bad I wanted to

It wasn't until I was about sixteen when I began to allow myself to feel anything towards the same ***

I felt like I wasn't being honest to myself because I was scared how everyone in my life would see me

I had enough, I let myself become whole again
I didn't feel the need to stand up on a soap box and say "I LOVE ****!"
But I refused to restrain myself from denying the fact that I was bisexual

I finally came out to a close friend when I was seventeen
Then another
And another
They were all accepting and nothing between us ever changed

My family on the other hand
Well,  was nineteen when I told my dad
He threw me out of the house

When I told my mom she told me i was going to go to hell

But, the fact remained, I played for both teams
Still to this day when it's brought up they just call me an idiot
I can deal with that, they still love me

Now, I've only had a connection with a few people
Some men
Some women
The men in my life have usually lead to disappointment

They only wanted ***
Don't get me wrong I'm totally down for that
But I was looking for something a little bit more
Because that's what they seemed to want too, at least when we first started talking

The women in my life have lead me to discovery
I found out that I can be sensitive, annoying, mean, careless, forgetful and just all around disrespectful

But they also taught me how to better myself, how to understand someone, and most importantly how to love

I'm not saying all men are pigs
And I'm not saying all women are angels

The point I'm trying to make is that, regardless of genitals,  ****** preference or identity
People are people, with different stories, ideas and issues
And each one of them has their own desires

Some hurt you
Some help you
Some teach you
And some don't even care

But that doesn't mean just because someone tells you that being interested in some one of the same *** is wrong and that you should listen and lie to yourself

If you love some one, tell them
If you're attracted to some one, talk to them
If you want to ****, send out an invitation and see what happens

I wasted a part of my life ignoring a natural desire because I was scared of it, don't make my mistake

Listen to your heart and run with it

My name is Tommy Johnson and I'm a bisexual human being

One last thing,where did the nomenclature of the words "bi" "gay" or "straight" come from? Why do we feel the need to classify and label things?

Jesus hanging with nails in his feet
"Oh father why have you done this to me?"
God says "cause"
Jesus asks "why?"
God answers "you must die"
"To show the people how much I care"
Jesus screams "get me down from here!"

We all know that conspiracy
The assassination of John F. Kennedy
It was pinned on o'l Lee Harvey
Who was suspiciously whacked by Jack Ruby
I guess you sow what you reap
But tell me just one thing, so I can sleep
Why was Kennedy taken from us?
But LBJ we got to keep?

It was a cool, early September morn
No one was ready, no one was warned
The planes crashed then the country was torn
To turn the other cheek or march to war
We headed out with a paranoid red, white and blue look in our eye
We did what we did but was it right?
There were no MWD's so someone lied


       -Tommy Johnson
*** used to be America's biggest cash crop
But somewhere, I don't know where that stopped
And the oppressive gavel of defamation dropped
Now we smoke joints in a dark garage with the fear of getting popped
It does more good than harm, so what's the deal?
Twenty years for a half ounce are you for real?
Got busted with bud now I lived behind bars and get served ****** meals
Is there some law that we can appeal?

A science teacher must at some point face
The topic of "evolve" and "create"
And put in logic and reason and keep out faith
It's the curriculum but some parents get so irate
Man, just let them do their job
These professional bickering moms
It's the battle of Darwin and God

       -Tommy Johnson

Cheap imitations and prestidigitation
A head full of acid and water on the knee

Punch in
Punch out
I'm filing a work related grievance
For managerial negligence
I protest and picket
My picket sign parade along the picket line

Put me in the Warsaw ghetto
Make me wear a star
Put me to work
Until I starve

I want my independent identity
But the in-crowd beckons me to live in anonymity

       -Tommy Johnson

Where's the exit?
Mass hysteria
Can't catch my breath
They steal my everything
The white collared robbers
Pick pockets and crackpot cobblers

Settle down
It's just a ruse
Nothing is ever meant to be
No such thing as destiny
Except that when the sun sets, the moon will rise
But that's just a maybe

Up to an altitudinous gate I travel
With nothing on my back
They look down from above and allow me to pass
Behind the gate I see free spirits with no possessions
No beliefs but many flexible ideas
We have all gathered here on our own account

       -Tommy Johnson

Save yourself
Shine a light on me
Don't shed a tear
On top of the hill

There is no wealth
That I leave
Nothing here
An empty will

The dish and the spoon are on the lam
The cow is now jumping Jupiter
As the cat smashes his fiddle in a fit of frustration
While the little dog sobs after being neutered

Satan's pointed horns and hairy hooves are turn-on's for some
While coal miners stick their tongues out at gold miners
Because they will soon produces diamonds
They all laugh with the oil riggers and refiners

I admire Eeyore
He never cries
But stays grounded
And has a great outlook

It's a crawl
On the parkway
An hour drive has turned into a day trip

You've just won a million dollars!
What will you do next?
Buy a new flashy, top self life
So all the Looky Lou's will break their necks

I got shoes to fill
Things to live up to
People to face

Acorns and elder berries
I've got nothing
Can't think of a word

Baptized
Conformed and organized
Made illegal and criminalized
The dollar bill remains idolized
Until we all realize
That everything is all wrong

I chill with rising suns
And setting moons
Hot and heavy winter nights
Calm cool summer afternoons

Colonel Mustard did it in the library with a candle stick
Because the pistol had no bullets

No harm done
No fault but my own

Promises aren't broken
The hope and faith put into them are

But it's all good

We rode white lightning across state lines
To a little town in the mountains over the tainted river
Where the entire strip is full of bars
Buzzing barflys hoping from tavern to tavern

It was mid day in broad daylight
We found the place
A hole in the wall
You would only be able find it if you were actually looking

Solvent Reflections
It was called

We went down the stairs, passed the wooden Native American at the front entrance

A marvelous collection of glass implements
Colorful fabrics and alluring smells

A man came out from behind a beaded curtain
Eyes glazed and a zonked out look on his face

"Right this way"
He showed us the assortment of extracts    

We chose the middle way
Purchased twenty scented sticks

Descended from the mountain
To a sketchy out post

We fought a pool shark
While waiting for the evening to come

Our friends had come out to play with us
To the market for brightly colored cans of caffeine and ethanol

Torches lit and music playing
We sat in a circle

We opened the little brown vile
Releasing the leaves of deeper knowledge

We put in the vessel of self-exploration
Put fire to it and inhaled

Immediately she ran to the highest point to admire the art the moon and stars had fashioned on the black and blue firmament

His head became a cardboard box
And his body began to look like wicker

I was somewhere between an animated reality
And a three dimensional fantasy

My friend went on a cruise upon a swaying pirate ship
And found his face under the word "fabulous" on every single page of his dictionary
Then saw himself in a magical grassland  


But then we stopped and stood in awe
Of the mighty Cricket Lord

Within ten minutes it came to an end
Our voices hoarse from laughter

Lets go again

It's 8:00 and we have our whole lives ahead of us
Life is silly
I suppose this is who I am for the time being, it will pass
As everything does
So judge away, I'll play the defendant
Bang your gavel and give me the sentence
It's only a life time
It won't mean a thing in your eyes
There's you , then there's me
That's just it
That's all we need to know
To each their own
The quietness, silent only because they cannot scream for help forever
I think the nitroglycerin worsened my cough
Mother's face has been shot off
But father doesn't cry
His crippling soft lies
So I take my over stuffed overnight bag and leave
Eons later, The Wolf, The Coyote and The Raven come
And then all was well in the western hemisphere
All fires dissipated and they all began to rebuild, this time stronger than before
       -Tommy Johnson

You're here by cordially invited to my suicide
Please, RSVP to the homicide
Don't be late to the genocide
And make sure that you bring your own cyanide
I take the adrenochrome  
And I realize
We are all the thoughts we chose to let out and our scrapped ideas that we could of been fly away

And now I'm left here with ***** thoughts and dishes
Dreams and wishes
Die from the inside
It's never easy

Dig me a shallow grave
Your regret is deep
A life might of been saved
The guilt is your's to keep
Caffeine, nicotine, THC, LSD it's all the same to me
They keep me going, going
Gone

Piercings and ashes
I can see the sun and the moon all at once
I know I'm guilty
Allow me if you will
Oh, what else can I do?
At least let me tie my own noose

       -Tommy Johnson

Stuff your sorry's in a sack
Everything in moderation

You have arms like noodles
Technology and my bladder hate me


It's better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven

I do as I Please
And that tickles my funny-bone

There is a fine line
Between being a party planner and being a clone

I don't go there as much as I used to

It's hard to get on your good side
When I'm just a walking disaster

Friendship shouldn't be broken by misunderstandings
There is no bliss in ignorance

This is going to get worse before it gets better

Go on with this emotional release
Tell me more about me

Get your lufa
I don't want any part of this

Life is a dream for the dead

Good talk. good luck, goodbye and godspeed

Go from who you are to who you want to be
Nothing is stopping you except for yourself

I see the workers in the back spitting in our food
Greaseballs
Brands are better than tattoos
Get over yourself

Sauced at sunrise
Waking up next to her brings a smile to my face, I feel the breeze
My heart picks up the pace when shes with me

Self-pity
Regret
Doubt
And unnecessary grief are incredibly unbecoming
Avoid the truck in your life

It's hard to be happy when nothing is good enough for you
Laugh at your life
It's just a series of never ending twist endings and what-the-**** moments
"Oh, the cleverness of me!"

I'm feeling saucy
There's no point, never will be
But why am I here?

Have you ever tried to save your life in vain?
A bullet to the brain
Your life is **** circling the rusted drain
Then you watch your self go insane
I begin to feel the judgment of my being being made by kids made from denim
So I exit the conversation

We sit pool side trying to conserve water
Falling off the wagon yet again
Packing it in
And calling it an early night
Would you pay to hear yourself sing?
To see yourself perform?

       -Tommy Johnson

Shes tired of being the peace maker for another day in paradise
Hes in a dark mood going midnight bowling
Plotting, scheming, planning dreaming
He won't make the same mistake twice
A big rig low rider
Har har snicker har!
Headed to the head shop
Dank

You egocentric snob
Talking about ecocentrism
Isocentric laser beams
Saying it's all esoteric and we're all simpletons
Mallrats
Wondering how they all got from A to B
It hurts so good
Cooking that ******'s jumbo jambalaya
Can you read between the lines on the wall in the bathroom stall written in permanent marker?
      -Tommy Johnson

Within the cathedral I lament and loathe
I have but one good eye
I am deaf
My spine is as crooked as the people in the city streets I look upon everyday

I find solace here in this fortress of virtue
I hid away
I ring the bells
They speak for my muted soul

Hear me

You ridicule my existence
Poke and **** my appearance
You are the monsters
I spit at you from high above

You've made me your Baron of Buffoonery
The feast is massive
Street performers, vagabonds
And the dancing flame that has engulfed the hearts of men, I see her

My master
The man who has saved me
Raised me
Has ordered me to retrieve this glowing goddess

I must obey

I have her within my faulty sight
I can smell a sweet aroma of her scent
She cannot stand the sight of me
Her beauty screams is a repulsed terror of me

The captain and his guard come
I'm put in shackles
Sentenced for a lashing
And scheduled for a ride on the pillory

For my master
Where is he now? Hiding
Hiding his hideousness
His betrayal against his celibate vow

But what's this?

The dancing enchantress has come to me
Giving me water
At my hour of suffering and humiliation  
She has me now

I return to my stone hideaway
A day out side of these walls has now cemented me into them forevermore

Master?
I see you
Sneaking in the night with a knife
Where are you going?

The captain is on patrol
I can feel in his heart, the desire for the flame
The same desire I sense in yours
And mine

No!
Master!

The captain is dead
I recuse myself from this world farther

Today there is a hanging
The one who has killed the captain shall be put to death

I see the whip marks on their back
But the face is not the face of my master
It is the face of her who possess my soul
No

I cannot let this transpire
I reciprocate her kindness towards me
With a rope swing rescue
And bring her to sanctuary

But now I am under attack
By mislead beggars
They storm the church
With fire and weapons of pointed metal

She is now somewhere within the house of God
Lost
I must find her before they do
No

The king's men
They'll find her and keep her safe

There she is!
In the pew

Master?
Stay away
Ah, the king's men have come to take her from you
Wait, stop why?!

She is back facing the gallows
I hear the evil cackling of my master from the balcony
We look upon her final moments, he continues to laugh
No

He will not live if she cannot
He is evil
He is wicked
He will die

Within that moment I push him
The executioner pulls the lever
They both fall
To their untimely deaths

I now trudge to the place where they laid her body
Passed the lepers
Passed the rehabilitated prostitutes
To her

I lay next to her, hold her;  I am warm
I am safe, she is safe
I shall stay here
Until my flesh deteriorates and my bones disintegrate

Now my death toll rings, its thunderous vibrations carry me to exquisite eternity

I dodged a desert eagle bullet and disappeared
As the swan's trumpet rusted
During the Pentecost
As the ordained minister pressed play
Chiang Kai-sheck pressed on against communists

My horse got spooked by some type of anomaly
Making me late for my two o'clock train
So now I have saddle bags of useless words
My cigarette's one giant granny ash
And my bowl is cashed

Fly you fool
People only get older
And poetry doesn't always need to rhyme
Life hands you lemons
But my tequila requires limes

What's the recipe for ice?
Can't see with 20/20 vision eyes
Fighting for a far off cause
And Santa Clause

Whatchamacallits
And compost heaps
Michigan to Denver
Face down in the mud
The baker helps me up
He's up at 2 AM
To hand out yesterdays left overs to the hobos and bums

Elliot Ness and Pat Garrett are on the trail
But The Iceman is watching patiently in his quiet suburb to emerge and bathe himself in their agony and his compensation

Hush puppies and truffle fries
Go-carts zooming through the race riots

Stomp
Tap
Snap
Clap
And sing along around the wishing well
Across the universe
Along the watchtower
With the brooding troubadour

The truth is ugly
Unless it sugarcoats itself with a false foundation and misleading mascara  

The burning bush spits out orders like ticker tape

I reckon its witchcraft
Either that
Or vertigo and dream piercing alarm clocks
Snooze

I AM VICE PRESIDENT AGNEW
Take it all away

The air is polluted with "love"
Or self-satisfaction disguised as love

More often than not
Almost always
I want you
Just you

I use geometry to calculate all these feelings
In summation, I'm insane but not as insane as you for loving me

Fractured my scaphoid
Now I'm paranoid of curbs and confrontation

I board the drunken ship
And circle Pangaea

We don't need a meteorologist to tell us the wind is with us, on our side
As we float on to the next one

My optometrist from Minnesota calls me and tells me my state of the art x-ray specs are in

I pulled something in my back, slipped a disk

Gentlemen, I take my leave  

I've been the liar
The actor
The martyr
The scribe
The one under the microscope hating every second
The one on the wanted poster

I can take your boos
I can guzzle your *****
Then clog your toilet
And walk away clean

Satan checks my blood pressure
Gives me ten milligrams of ****** and unleashes me upon the world

I burn the corks and crack the plates
I litter the empty bottles to leave them for the rest of you to recycle

Can you handle change?
Can you hold your own during the transformation?
This erratic evolution of the soul and person?

You've been in the honor society
Have you been inmate 107501?
Then what do you know?

You've been converted by the prizes in cereal boxes
Save the box tops and mail them in for an all expense paid trip to Crimea

Take this box cutter and do your worst

Your tongue licks away this candy shell of doubt that surrounds me
Until you reach the chewy center and free the surreal pleasure of sweetness

Step right up just come inside
We've got food, attractions and rickety rides
It's only ten cents to lose your mind
It's the carnival-circus of Cedric and Clyde

The magic man cuts the conjoined twins in half with giant shears
Then makes them instantly disappear
Then shows you your card as he chugs a beer
"Who's next?" "How about you my dear?"

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The sword sallower has something to say
But can't for hes devouring a flame
He tells the audience to try and imitate
He has them **** themselves then goes on his way

The snake charmer plays his tune
Down at the midway people lose
They throw the ***** but the bottle are glued
And the bearded lady and amazon women have decided to get ****

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The fortune teller looks into her crystal ball
And predicts society's failure and fall
And insists that you put up a wall
She gives you the number of a contractor to call

The muscle man and ****** are doing lines
As the lion tamer ***** on lemon rinds
You ask if everything's fine
They answer you in some sort of coded rhyme

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The clowns ****** each other for a laugh
They use exploding pies and poison gas
You see the fully loaded clown car crash
And they all lay lifeless and gashed

The merry-go-round is going mach five
The freaks and weirdos come out to say hi
The geek takes you on the Ferris wheel and get you high
And shows you the spot where they put those who have died

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The fun house mirrors are all cracked
Except for the one that makes you look fat
The roller coaster has run off the track
Those who went on can never come back

The contortionist talks backwards
The acrobats are up in the rafters
One is pregnant and plans on seeing the back alley abortionist after
She just needs to knock and give him the password

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The rabid animals come out from the petting zoo and under the tent
The elephants tear up in lament
The tigers eat the trainer and smile with content
And the escape artists swims with shoes of cement

The ringmaster walks out with his top hat and cane
And says "thank you all for coming, we'll return again"
With his handle bar mustache, hes looks absolutely insane
The whistle blows and they all board the train

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The jugglers and unicycle bears all have gone
The illusionists and tight rope walkers pass on
As have the knife thrower and human cannonball
The haunted house comes down, the brass band plays a good bye song

So there you are surrounded by dead bodies and horse ****
Stale popcorn and some kind of hit list
Of souls and cities they plan to visit
It's the Cedric and Clyde Carnival-Circus

All proceeds go to Mr. Jacques

Enter
And feed this ego with attention
Served on a platinum platter

See it gobble up the compliments
Dependence of acceptance

Its hunger is actually insecurity
Its napkin has the words "I know" embroidered on it

Now watch it choke on one single critique
Its eyes tear up and the face turns blue

One small criticism has brought x's into the eyes of this ego
What a pity