my closest friends
are made of:
white paper
black ink
12pt Times New Roman font

so many
failed
relationships

i think that
i might be the
problem

i've battled demons
i've been to hell and back to get here
and you still think i'm weak?
you'll never know how strong you or i are
until we've been shattered and had to
rebuild ourselves alone.
prince charming wont come to a broken princess.
maybe he will to you, but he didn't to me.

sometimes
i try to feel
the emptiness
and aching
that used to
be in my heart.
sometimes there
are still traces of it
but other times
its really gone
and i cant believe
that im actually
happy again

mismatched furniture
a few dishes in the cupboards
a couple random blankets and lamps
a pan and a mug or two in the sink
a broken clock above the fake fireplace
a fake jackalope head on the fireplace

a couple college kids' apartment
my brother and his roommate
it isn't much but it feels like home

listen here to me.
ignore what everyone else is saying if they're trying to tear you down.
don't let that happen.

you are smart
you are beautiful
you are kind
you are seen
you are loved
you're better than you think you are.

don't cry, darling
things will get better
chin up
trust me.

no.
you know what?
cry.

let it out.
cry.
i know you've been hiding for too long.
i know you've been abandoned.
i see you.
you're beautiful.
you're perfect.
you're amazing.
if you ever wonder if you're a bad person? bad people don't worry about being better.
go ahead and cry.

let your tears water the ground.
let the seeds of despair and hurt grow
let the graves of dreams and lost friends have gardens
un-clench your hands and you'll find seeds falling out
every bad thing is now a seed
the bad things will become beautiful things,
just to spite everyone who said
"no you can't."
"it's not possible."
"you're stupid/ugly"/any other mean word

those will be the most beautiful flowers of all.

so let your tears flow.
they'll water the ground beneath your feet.
it'll be a garden of spite and inspiration.