no matter what
you will always
be in the back of my mind
and in the back of my heart will
always be the question
what if

\ˈvəln(ə)rəb(ə)l/
adjective

- susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

Do you ever feel vulnerable? I think we all do. Do you ever feel so helpless that you fall to the depths of despair? Do you ever feel the need of someone? Do you ever feel like you’re trapped into your own thoughts? Do you ever feel like no amount of sunshine can rescue your sanity? Do you ever wonder what it feels like to not grasp onto hope anymore? Do you ever wish for someone to understand?

From time to time I stumble into the thought of vulnerability. I never mean to, I don’t want to. It just keeps pushing back and I don’t know why. I have fought so long to not care what people say to me. Unfortunately, after holding back the things said and did to me, I came across with gloom. It felt like a jack-in-a-box moment. It just hit me. There was nothing I can do about it and it ached me.

I couldn’t stop the “what ifs” popping in my head. I hated it. I hate myself for imagining someone who will care. I tried clearing my thoughts. I tried. And it ***** cause’ I feel vulnerable while writing this. Until there were no more tears falling onto my cheeks. I eventually sleep after all the crying and maybe, just maybe hope for a better day to come.

Hey sweet country boy,
What you doin' today?
What I gotta do?
& what I gotta say?

You're maybe a dream but baby,
here's the thing
I can't get you outta my mind
& I didn't know that I'd find
every country song on the radio
is playing me
along,

Do I gotta look real pretty,
get down to the nitty-gritty,
tell you that I'm young,
& my heart it come undone
I'll say I miss my sun,

Whatever you want me to say
hey boy anyway
I'm here waiting..

Cherie Nolan © 2016

When she left she couldn't help but to leave that soft and sweet fragrant scent behind. You right, love is blind. There are other senses which make me miss her. Don't get me wrong, she is a enthralling flower. However I'm only reminiscing on the way she lingers, I'm drawn in by every 'come here' gesture of her finger. The openness of my nostrils, the little chill hills which coexist with my follicles. Jasmine... she is so honorable.

Maybe in another universe are we all free
Maybe in another universe do we have our own will
Maybe in another universe do we tame sin and advocate prosperity
Maybe in another universe do we encourage diversity
Maybe in another universe do we differentiate based on morals and not plain ethnic variety
Maybe in another universe are we in control of our own minds, and bodies
Maybe in another universe do we think for ourselves rather than follow others' paths
Maybe in another universe are we not in denial of invisible surrounded hierarchy
That divides us.
That feeds us.
That maneuvers us.
That disables us.
That obtains us.
And proclaims us theirs.
Maybe in another universe...