What if I told you
that the truest form of love
doesn't come from anything
or anyone, even your special someone

What if I told you
that the truest love
is loving yourself
without wanting to change a thing
and to just accept who you are

What if I told you
that once you accept yourself
then you can truly love others
and those dearest you

as a child my mother told me
i would be a writer someday
because i was always asking
"what if?"

but now i'm twenty
years old and i only
write when i'm
trying to forget

as a child my mother told me
i would be a writer someday
if i just kept asking
"what if?"

but i just grew up to have
an anxiety disorder

What if there were no words?
Would the comunication be harder or easier?
Would we overthink as much as we do right now?
Maybe we would imagine situations instead of phrases we've learned from bad movies

Our lifes would be ruled by actions
Not by silly games we play with letters

Looking at your eyes would have even deeper meaning because that would be the only way to get to know a piece of your mind

Maybe the connection between people would be deeper and more pure
no social media, loud ads or cursing
Just existing together in the wierd place that is the earth

I care
I care so much it hurts
I care about the little things
The way his eyes light up when he talks about something he loves
The way he tells jokes and stories
Laughing so much he can't get the words out
The way he smiles when we hold hands and dance together
Even if it's just for show
I care so much about things most people don't even notice
But I care about the big things too
Things most everyone sees, but fails to address
The way his eyes are now, dull and void of life
The way he jokes about hating himself and wanting death
In a way that makes me think he really means it
The way his face is permanently frozen in the same weary expression, now that I can't make him laugh
Or even smile
I care about all these things, and they scare me
Because what if I'm right
About the way he feels
Because I don't know how to fix it, how to make him smile again
How to make his eyes light up the world like they used to
Because what if there's suddenly nothing more to notice, nothing more to care about
Because it's all gone
Because he's all gone
And nothing I did made a difference

It's easy for me
To get caught up in the what ifs
To question everything I did
I can't touch the universe
Without leaving ripples
There are rivers to places
But maybe streams if I had just
I have never done anything
Consequenceless
What have I given up?