Where the lines blur, and pages end
where I cannot see a future anymore
for us
where the light and darkness come
and pass as time, here it is only grey
inside

There used to be a window where
a sparrow hid at light-crack by the sill
and sang
shrilly in the morning, he would sing
calling in the light of God, he’d sing
for us

The silence has grown thick, shaved ragged
potential, daydreams posed as promises
sharp was the resonation of our love
sharp are vile weapons and words drawn
between us now

Betrayal finds its way upon my tongue
I’d spit it out before it turns to venom
I’d have to say you’re poison to me now
left with nothing but constriction and a
failing heart

Were you my elixir, but a count of days before?
How sweet the lily of the valley’s scent
how pure is her white compilation of
forever restfulness, the peaceful trickery
and death

I’d say it’s time to lay this love to rest
Place flowers at the feet of mounds of earth
seal the wound of expecting hearts, we were
bleeding fluid prayers upon the stones
Attempting to bring the dead
Back to life

He is a sculpture

made of a blend

metal on the outside,

porcelain on the in.

He speaks in soft bursts of thunder,

in love,

outside he is wonder

but will collapse with a shove.

eyes water
throat burns
heart wrenches
mind churns

know it’s a weakness
but can’t hold it back
fight it too hard
whole world turns black

emotion?
empathy?
frailty?
strength?

have to **** it
that place inside
that feels so much
it breaks the sky

a real man today
for the very first time
everyone knows
real men don’t cry

you see a photo
of someone you loved
and they look so beautiful
you fall again
sigh

why did I have to fall in love
for it just to end
love it is so fragile
and I couldn't take care of myself
let alone take care of us

I don't even miss us anymore
I just miss you
I just wish your face didn't bring so much pain
but I guess
it wouldn't be so painful if I didn't still love you

so I'll continue to wait
until it fades

(please God if you are truly there let it fade I don't think I can live through another 9 months)
(NINE MONTHS?!!??
I CANT GET OVER IT AND ITS BEEN NINE MONTHS)

Kiss me slowly
Hold me tightly

Love me.
Deeply.
Roughly.
Passionately.

I want to hear the voices you have harbored in your head
the very ones you talk to when the rest in you is dead
When sleeplessness's symptoms are the ones you want to share
with someone else's sorrows and the thoughts you cannot bear
But why is it so common for such things to fall apart
to make you then believe you could've never had a heart
I want to say the real is something different than we see
the cruelest of intentions we can lose upon our knees
And if you make the effort to unravel what was lost
you'll find the kind of solace you can place upon a cross  
Misunderstand the meaning and the battle is no more
you're left with only weakness that will drag you on the floor

There are still parts of me that don't
c
r
u
m
b
l
e
when my demons call my name.
Being ok is just a game.
How far can excuses go
until you pick up the stones you throw
How many lies will roll off your tongue
Before you stop playing with a loaded gun
How many tears until your fine
Darling where are you drawing the line
How many years until you're old
What memories are you making to hold
How many cars do you have to chase
Before you can draw the smile back on your face.
How many lonely nights
until you give up this fight.
How many scars until you realize
your not weak for closing your eyes.

Why do you call me, what do you need now?
You say you are a friend of mine, but I do not see how
Do you think that I'm a servant, and who are you, the king?
Whenever you need something, you only need to ring.
Like I don't have my own life or anything to do.
But sit and wait by the phone and hope to hear from you.
Insisting that I help you, whatever you request
Pretending that you give a **** is what you do best
Are you that stupid not to realize you can't work someone that way without it coming back to you and regretting it someday.
Thinking that you are smart, saying what I want to hear
Playing like you're there for me, acting so sincere
Manipulating with your words, finding where I'm weak
Knowing that I am the type to turn the other cheek.
Taking kindness for weakness is something not to do
Like playing with emotions, its bound to backfire on you.
I have always trusted you and what you said to me
Blinded by my own hopes, denying what I  see
Knowing what you really are is not a friend at all
And so next time you need to talk,
Find someone else to call.