I'm a girl 13 years old and I am raising 5 kids right now and one on the way and its hard to do what I  do and people ask where I got all my scars and I tell them the truth I cut I will admit it I do but no one can judge me for it cuz no one is perfect and i'm not I will admit that to SO YEAH yall got problems with it message me!!!

Because there is no reason
Because things change
Because i knew better
Because i want so much to believe
Because I care too much
Because I'm scared
Because trusting hurts
Because it's easier to deny
Because it was undeniable
Because romance seduces the heart
Because you are wanted
Because avoidance equals pain
Because I am empty
Because I am left to wonder
Because things changed
Because I am still afraid
Because there were promises
Because  I believed
Because they were broken
Because I see you
Because I know who you are
Because you are scared
Because I am real
Because I feel...everything
Because lies of omission are still lies
Because you disappeared
Because I want too much
Because I gave my heart upon request
Because you never thought I would
Because I am too honest
Because pain beats joy into submission
Because I know the truth
Because I knew better
Because you are loved
Because I am still afraid

The words fall out of my heart and will ever remain unspoken...
Because I am still afraid

You can tell them what they wanna hear
Or tell them how it is
You can smile through their struggle
Or struggle to help them win

single and never going to mingle again unless they're someone absolutely special or He comes back.

people are slowly finding out that i'm no longer in a relationship and girls will hit on me in the hallway and kiss my cheek and asking for a nice sloppy kiss on the mouth.
i wish i was strong enough to kiss those pretty girls right on the mouth and completely forget about Him.

but i wont, because i cant, i feel like i'm cheating on Him in some way even though he's already gone and completely forgotten i exist.
(completely erased me even though He loved me for 15 months.)

i want to talk to Him, thinking of Him keeps me up at night crying, seeing Him makes me cry and feel nauseous, watching Him be fine makes me angry, i'm terrified of Him after he left me with a broken heart.

(there's so much power a person has when they have your heart in their hand and can crush it at any moment, it's scary.)

it makes me happy when people say,

"I can't belive he broke up with you. He has no idea what he just lost, you're so amazing and beautiful. Forget him."

but i can't believe it or want to because i love Him. i love Him so much that it's hard to breathe.

I feel sick the kinda sick
when I don't hate you
the kind were the butterfly's start to flutter
my eyes start to water
I don't wanna have butterfly's
I don't wanna cry another tear
im gunna drink it away drown my sorrows
smoke forget for another second
I don't wanna care no more