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jǫrð Oct 2023
Treat me like a therapist
Until you feel embarrassed

Tell me you talk to me
Even more than your new wife

Act like it's a compliment
I know any good doctor would

Say that's unhealthy but
I am afraid of your reaction

So bite my tongue, and I listen
And then when you tell me

I remind you of your ex
You really mean I remind you

Of the one who got out from
Underneath your sweaty thumb

Unable to be controlled
And that just kills you
The History: He talks to me any which way he pleases. I have accepted the indiscretions, in addition to his displaced and covert professions of love. He is higher on the food chain and I am not afraid to point out his weakness. He is wholly unreliable and hates that I know, or so it seems. He is quick to anger, the closest external contact I've had with sociopathic tendencies. He lies for his own preservation, he ignores risk factors, he disregards others' experiences.
I struggle with some of the same issues. I identify them within me and work to change them. He has influenced me to be a better person so as not to end up alone as he has, comparing strangers to people of his past and allowing his bias to control every interaction. Sad from someone who's had such a long time to get it together. I sense, regret.
Man Nov 2020
he stopped me, a little further ahead of him
on the sidewalk
he said
"I've lived this life before"
"and?" i asked

he just looked at me and walked along
TOD HOWARD HAWKS Jul 2020
The pandemic, that ****, inimical plague enveloping our world. So it all started in China, or so they say, yet in what seems to me in a very short time, it has circled Earth. Really, that fast, and everywhere, even Okinawa? Moreover, does it not seem a tad morally "grostesque" that so many look to "profit" from the scourge? This is not the way I want our world to work. "Gee!' many will say. "The more corpses, the more money!" Life, any life, should never be predicated on monied worth. Life is sacred. It is not meant to be financially profitable. The indigenous peoples of Earth for the most part knew intuitively that human lives were not meant to be spent on the 103rd floor of some skyscrapper. They realized that all forms of life on Earth were inextricably intertwined, inter-connected. They realized profoundly that all are one. The way we have sectionalized politically our Earth into arbitary nations (over 200 now) is both ludicrous, as well as illusory. The wind, the waters--even the pandemic--do not recognize borders. The divisions of mankind have resulted, over millennia, in aggrandizement, which has inexorably lead to wars on top of wars on top of even more war. And what happens during wars? Millions and millions and millions of human beings have been murdered, a military pandemic of untold proportions. And what if we wanted to love instead of ****? You can't hug someone who is 6-to-10 feet away from you. You can't kiss the one you love with a mask over your face. But phamaceutical giants are all furiously trying to become the first to create a viable vaccine and thus make billions and billions. But that is not love--just the opposite. And what of all the poor human beings on Earth, so many of whom already have contracted the virus, or eventually will--how are they going to be able to pay for the vaccine? The coronavirus is not the only plague circling Earth. Uncaring has been doing the same it seems forever.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks
A graduate of Andover and Columbia College, Columbia University, Tod Howard Hawks has been a poet, a novelist, and a human-rights advocate his entire adult life.
dims May 2020
you always think i'm lying
even though the truth serum
that you gave me,
(in the form of forcing myself out of my body)
has been administered in such a large dose
that it's seeping out of my eyes

there's a bright light shining in my eye
and i have taken the multiple blows from your words
some of which still leave imprints.

i tell you that i want to leave
that i want him to pack up and take me with him
because maybe then i can find some peace
in the ever turning turmoil that haunts my mind.

you just say,
"i don't care."

maybe you're too busy playing the victim
to watch me claw at my face in an attempt to get out.
haha mommy issues
Grey Apr 2020
All I wanted was to talk:
to have another acknowledge these events
That tore my life to shreds.

When I did speak,
It was instantly flipped or ignored.
So I said enough, I'm not doing this anymore.

I will not give to those who only take
Or to hear my stories so they can create
A reality which would leave me
The center of their entertainment.

I am not a joke,
Nor is my life at any rate,
A show.

I admit I was clingy, I admit I lost connections
I thought were worthy of pursuing
Because I needed support early in the friendship.

They didn't know
I was in anguish
Or perhaps they didn't care.
Either way,
I was left standing there.

My screams were muted,
My statements unheard.
The help I needed
Was blatantly ignored

I'm now silent
To prevent these losses
Because apparently people
Don't know how to handle these problems
Miss Me Jul 2019
The paths taken
   Feel so unforgiving
To hear the words
   You say are true
Stand strong and linger
    With a bitter taste

Can't you tell what's
    Right or wrong
And if the affects
     Lay within my reach
Just yesterday
     You pulled me in to help
          Feel safe
And now your like
   The Cheshire cat
       And his foolish grin
How can you wear two
     Faces at a time
Which one do you feed
     At any given time
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Sometimes, it gets to you,
no matter how hard you try not to care.
No matter,
how many times you deny it doesn't hurt.
No matter,
how many times you reiterate that it doesn't matter.
It hurts.
It hurts because it still matters,
and at times the thought of it mattering
hurts even more.
Sometimes all these things add on,
and you begin to break.
That's when you finally accept to yourself,
It hurts.
Matthew Feb 2019
It's
not moving

"it would have
only led a life
   of pain."

"stop
crying
it didn't
matter to
us!"

It's only
the rain      

why do Things  
die

"to cause
pain."
.
.
.

I want
to   remember This
Can we build a grave  
The rain makes Her cry  
"it is only just the rain.."  
  Please we need to  
  remember
Her
How I see this poem.  It's about two people with two conflicting ideas about death.  The little one feels that death should be remembered, and older one feels that we should forget death as it only causes pain.  The main feelings of this poem for me is to remember death.


I put that in how their speech is written.  the little one capitalizes what he feels he feels are important like the beginning of a sentence and a words like her.  He also doesn't feel the need for periods.  The older one on the other hand feels that everything is useless.  so he doesn't capitalize and he always puts periods to remember that things should end.
NothingInMotion Aug 2018
Take it to the bridge,
That's where it's meant to be,
It's meant to be remembered,
By lowly lock and key.

It's meant to stay forever,
It should never be forgotten,
It was there the entire time,
Yourself, not nearly so often.

It stayed there through the cold,
It stayed there through the rain,
It meant to stay with you,
Yet you never walked that bridge again.
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