It’s not that I think I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t trust it. There’s a difference.

I want to feel your need like air,
a love so deep, beyond compare.
I want to be the thought you keep,
the dream that lingers as you sleep.
Not just a want, but something more—
a quiet ache you can’t ignore.

I want to be the pull, the thread,
the voice that echoes in your head.
To feel your care in all you do,
to know your heart beats just for two.
Ask me, softly, where I’ve been—
show me I’m your beginning and end.

Let your gaze linger, let it stay,
like I’m the sun that lights your way.
Let every word you speak of me
be laced with love, completely free.
Not fleeting, not shallow, but endless and whole,
a love that cradles my heart and soul.

I want your passion, deep and kind,
the type that wraps and fills the mind.
To see me not just as I appear,
but know my soul and hold it near.
A love that whispers, "You are mine,"
yet cherishes, tender and divine.

Crave not my touch, but the sound of my voice,
the little things that make you rejoice.
Wonder at the thoughts I share,
at every moment, show you care.
To love me wholly, as I am,
your guiding light, your constant calm.

So want me, love, in ways untamed,
but let it be my heart you’ve claimed.
Be addicted to the way I see,
to the essence of who I strive to be.
For I don’t long for just fleeting fire,
but a love that grows, higher and higher.

Crave my laughter, crave my tears,
crave the story of all my years.
Let me feel it, steady and true—
this quiet obsession of me and you.
For in your arms, I long to stay,
forever yours, in every way.

I trust you, my love, with all that I am,
your words like anchors, steady and calm.
You tell me your pain is fleeting, a phase,
and I hold to your voice like a beacon in haze.
You are my truth, my rock, my guide,
and I trust in the love you hold inside.

I believe in you, in the strength you bear,
in the quiet assurances whispered with care.
You’ve told me we’re safe, you’ve told me we’re strong,
and I cling to those words like a comforting song.
I know your heart, I know its intent,
and I trust each message your love has sent.

But still, a shadow lingers near,
a whisper of doubt, a trace of fear.
What if one day, without warning or sound,
I wake to find you’ve turned around?
What if the love I fight to sustain
isn’t enough to hold off the rain?

I push myself, I give my all,
to make every day a fortress, tall.
To show you joy, to be your light,
to fight for us through the darkest night.
But in the quiet, a question remains:
what if my love can’t quiet your pain?

What if one day, when the silence grows loud,
and the laughter fades into a passing cloud,
you realize something I can’t yet see—
that maybe you’re better off without me?
It’s not your fault, my love, not at all,
it’s just a fear, a quiet call.

I trust you fully, with every breath,
with every joy, with every depth.
Your love is my harbor, my steady refrain,
and I believe in you, through joy and pain.
But trust doesn’t shield from the fears I hide,
of a day you might drift, or pull aside.

You’ve told me to worry not, and I try,
but the thought of losing you makes me cry.
The dryness that lingers, the weight in the air—
I fight it with hope, with love, with care.
But what if one day, we falter and break?
What if it’s more than we both can take?

Still, I believe in the strength we hold,
the fire that burns through the growing cold.
I trust in us, in the vows we’ve made,
in the promises strong and the fears that fade.
And even in doubt, in shadows unknown,
I trust in your love to guide me home.

So I’ll keep fighting, I’ll keep the flame,
I’ll carry the weight, I’ll shoulder the blame.
I trust in your words, your heart, your eyes,
even as fear within me cries.
For loving you is the bravest part,
and I’ll trust you always—with all my heart.

I trusted you.
A bond that is supposed to last until my adulthood.
And you took it from me.
I used to think it was normal.
But now I hate you.
I hate your presence, your touch, your speech.
I don’t understand if you are lying to me again.
Blackmailing me.
So I won’t let you bring me back down again.
I will fight. Until this life is no longer mine to keep.

I stand behind the boundary you shattered,
Watching fragments of our trust scatter.
No mason's hands will I let rebuild
What you alone chose to break and spill.

Peace rests within my steadfast walls,
While your guilt beyond my border calls.
You crossed the line drawn in the sand
This distance now, I understand.

No architect of reconciliation will I be,
For bridges burned weren't burnt by me.
Some bonds, were broken by your choice,
They need no repair and no voice.

I rest content in knowing where I stood,
While you stepped over where you should.
So let it be; this space between,
Because I'm standing where I've always been.

©️Lizzie Bevis