and today I feel
so very tired
of feeling so very trapped
so very locked
in tiny bird-cage cages
that I am so very very tired of

Well you lend me an ear?
It will take up maybe an hour of ur life
But lets not think about time
Maybe if i am quite you’ll be able to hear
But please listen, cant bare another tear
If you dare
do stare
U don’t wanna give them a scare
Will you lend an ear and a mind to spare?
Will we ever really know what’s welfare?
Prepare to go nowhere
I always get side tracked
But my mind is packed
It has been hacked
Its all abstract
Lets extract my brain and inspect
To see places they neglect
And inject the potion of prefect intellect
Dont forget my mind was set to reject
It means no disrespect
But it just disconnects
trapped
Strapped
Slashed
But who gives a **** if your depressed?
Doesn’t  matter if words were expressed!
eyes crawling up the walls
Back and forth through the halls

“Show Time!” I hear as they start to get everything ready for the two-legged beings.

I want to hide, not to be seen. Though I know that’s impossible.

I am locked in a cage for everyone to see.

My black fur and spots.

My brilliant golden eyes.

My long whiskers.

My paws and my claws.

All on display.

I start to hear the pitter-patter of footsteps walking towards me.

I stay close to the back wall hoping to blend in with the dark surroundings of my own personal prison.

If I hide my face, they won’t be able to tell where I am.

I hear them hitting the metal bars with sticks.

My ears flatten against my head.

Let me go please, leave me alone.

I don’t want to be seen.

Suddenly I hear it, one of them screams “I found it!”

My black fur raises on my back, sending chills down my spine.

They found me, why can’t they see that I don’t want to be found.

“Look at his spots!”

“Look at his fur!”

Why can’t they stop screaming?

I start to pace, I want it to stop, please stop.

I want to go home; I want to be free.

Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?

This place
It feels familiar
Darkness envelopes me
I stick my hand out
At arms length is a wall
Four corners
No door
Trapped

I reach above
Right over my head
Is the top
It feels familiar
These wall's surrounding me
On all sides are
Damp

I take a deep breath
The air is dry
Despite the walls
Each breath leaving me
Makes me thirsty

Suddenly, there's a light
Seeping through the walls
It was dim
But just enough
I find it
The way out

A handle
Clearly wan't there
Before
I open the door
And sprint through

SLAM!
Darkness
What happened?

This place
It feels familiar
Darkness envelopes me
I stick my hand out
Four corners
No door
Repeat

The pressure cracks my bones
like a lofty barrel
Weighing a top my tormented back.

My rib cage once housed a humming bird
That half dead, plague ridden thing
flew away long ago.

I should be happy and not so lonesome.
   I am engaged not to many friends .,
            Yet I feel so alone 24/7.

                            You see,
                I'm constantly trapped
                     in my thoughts
                   I have a hard time
               interacting with others
                 That are not like me,
                     which in my life
                   have been 1 person .
          I try to see the good in people
,              but can only spot flaws,
                  and though I'm far
                        from perfect
                    I seek perfection.
                   Why is perfection
                       or perfection
                   to my perception
                    so hard to find?
              And why do we have
                    to be lonely
                   in a world full
                      of people
                 and possibilities?
                 It seems so hard
                To find anything
                That brings us
                   Happiness
        Everything is a mess 🤍

"you're alright."
"it's just a panic attack."
"he's not here."

no, you don't understand.
he is here.
he never left.

he’s not in between my legs,
but he’s still invading my mind.

I don't feel like
myself anymore.

I'm not myself anymore,
not fully.

he's still inside of me.
he never left.

birds are free to fly and soar the skies
while we're hostage of gravity and the ground,
tied by human limbs and tasks, money and bonds,
our friends who deceive us and
families we do not trust.
no feathers to rely on, no bird or angel
can help us leave the floor,
we'll only go down with the passage of time.
there's no hope or sky for the living self,
as there is no ground for
the birds we chase from it.
each to their realm.
pitying each other envying each other
for the ability we do not have.
no escape or faith or help from our enemies,
nothing to change our flesh and life.
our blood carries something but it isn't pretty,
it isn't beautiful, no time to run,
there are no wings on your back and
no feathers on my arms.
this is no way to live. live. live. leave.
this, fear my flight, I would fall to fly,
feel the gravity at its most and decay,
like the angel;
we will all become light.