My eyes shined like diamonds,
and my hair was longer and stronger than rope.

“One day,” I would say,
“I’m gonna grow it out down to my knees.”

Lifetimes like mine have given me knowledge that my skin is solid
and my soul is tough,
but I want to FEEL it.

When things get tough,

She cries a little.

….

Every single time, she contemplates it,

If it’s portraying her as weak,

Or is it okay to cry a bit?

What if it’s actually making her weaker?

What if her biggest fear is creeping it’s way out of the pit?

….

She holds herself, push back the tears,

But all her efforts aren’t worth,

All it takes is two words,

From someone, her presence who seeks,

And she lets two drops roll down her cheeks.

….

When things get tough,

She cries a little,

Then,

She buckles herself up,

In the end, only she gets a little tough.

….

Love ❤️

I thought it was supposed to get better
but instead

it just keeps getting worse

I'm a brick layer
by incarnation
by aspiration
by luminosity.

I find unfinished buildings-
toppled skyscrapers-
imaging their foundations
their structural intelligence.

With a brick here
and some love there;
once demolished
can be reassembled.

I'll reconstruct
your finest details,
the youthful aspirations
of an idyllic generation.

Too naïve to
understand that unforgiving
weather can happen
to even the kindest of buildings.

I would rather look at the sky with stars and beauty
Go to sleep and see ugliness behind my eyelids
For hours asleep the nightmares come in

I would rather look at the moon full and fat
Then go to sleep and deal with the horrific details of my past
For the nightmares as I sleep

I would rather look at the aurora borealis
Then I have to deal with the horrific gory details of the future
For the night mares are comes in

I would rather find a planet in the sky with a telescope
Then deal with prophetic dreams of doomsday
For these prophetic nightmares calm in my sleep

I would rather pull an all night or instead

As I slowly they creep in my head from my stomach that is full
Of high calorie items
Not that I have an eating disorder
But this is why I watch what I eat before I go to bed
As these things creep in my head as a sleep
The night is full of terrors and it’s dark
My mind races and sodas my imagination
Causing me to have nightmares and night terrors
Because I did not check before I reck my self
Is there a Lay asleep  paralyzed in fear
Want to wake up screaming
Before I die in my sleep of these terrors
I struggle to sleep I have insomnia
I cannot sleep
I just cannot sleep
For the creeping in my head from my stomach below
Torment me why does the stomach is full or empty
Neither is good.
As i scream from the night terrors
In my sleep I wonder why my breath smells and my mouth is dry I want to get a drink in To me
Not to get drunk but what the whistle
Then I realize that it’s time to get up for breakfast
I have one yet again
This battle of the night terrors
The dreams of hell and the dreams of Sicilian mafia
The dreams There aren’t really dreams.

Don’t let the tormenters win
Don’t let the rapists win or the child molesters win
By killing yourself

Don’t let the terrorists win
Let the enemy win
By killing your self

Don’t let the flashbacks win
The emotions
Or nightmares win
By killing yourself
I have too many idiots to prove against to go and do something stupid and reckless

Dear auto hawk of Talklife
I am not who You think I am
You based me on my past and deleted my posts
Based on my past mistakes
I am an overly  emotional Young woman
Please do not mistake me for a psychopath
What a social path based on my poetry
What is wrong with you
Honestly
Why