You think that I do not notice
stars in clear dark skies,
or that absent sparkle in your eyes
and the stillness of it all;
As I lay here silently all night
wondering what might be wrong
and how I can make it right?

©️Lizzie Bevis

I stumble through every second,
Every frame of physical progression,
Sleepwalking with my eyes wide open.

Distinction between
Conscious and unconscious,
Real and unreal,
Alive and dead
Mix, swirl, and then blend together
On Infinity's timeless masterpiece, Continuum.

I walk like the dead among the living.
I walk like the living among the dead,
Staggering in a haze,
Following Fate's gentle nudge,
Until a wind sweeps away my life in a single breath.

There are many opposites in this world:
light and dark,
And love and hate,
bliss and pain,
And Life and Death.
What is Life and Death?

The concept of Life and Death is millenniums of years old,
And the answer is different for every individual you ask
They may say that life is a short experience that every individual goes through
They may say that its a blessing that we must take advantage of
They may say that its a curse that we all must suffer
They may say that we’re here for a specific predetermined reason
And they may say that its nothing until we make something from it
There are many theories and beliefs of what happens after
Some say that you go to another world where you can live in peace and happiness
Another of distress and suffering
Or you just go through another life in a new body under a new name
Or your soul inhabits another animal or object
Or it remains just wandering, bodilessly
And many speculations more…
Then there are others who may say that there is simply nothing.

Life
Life is when your soul has a body to control,
A mind to inhabit,
Dreams to fulfill
It allows that spirit to interact with other spirits to build and create
Life is full and stimulating and always moving
Life is a course of events,
One action impacts the next impacts the next impacts the next…
Life grows and flourishes
Life develops and changes every day and every second and every moment
You have the ability to make your world a utopia
The choices you and others make can impact the next
But those choices won’t always lead to success
Sometimes they’ll lead you to failure
Misery
Disappointment
And sometimes you won’t always get to choose what happens
Life is unexpected
But we have retellings of other’s lives
Rules and guides on how to live our own
Regulations and laws (that aren’t always followed)
Rewards and punishments
Life is a blessing
Life is a curse
Life is everywhere
Life is now.

Death
Death is when your conscious leaves your physical state for eternal time.
We haven’t yet met death, but it still feels familiar
Do we see death in between our stages of wake and sleep?
Or in moments of shock after impact?
Or maybe when our heart drops during a fall?
Its funny being agnostic because no theory of life after death fully satifies
I’d imagine that right before death, a melancholious chill would spead over,
Inabiling every part of you
Segment by segment
Limb by limb
Memory by memory
Then you and your soul would be let free
No longer having to carry the weight of your body, the weight of your thoughts,
An infinite dreamlike state, except with no pictures or visions.
A peaceful, dreamless, light, nothingness.
A freedom from life.
But maybe death is different
It’s interesting being agnostic because no theory of life after death feels sure
Thats the thing, we don’t fully know
Thats why its so scary, it’s unknown
And you can’t undo it, you can’t go back
Death is interminable
Death is inevitable
Death everywhere
Death is the end.

So what is Life and Death?
They are…
…

In the quiet of a cluttered room,
a glimmer flickered, an idea in bloom.
I held it close, a thought so bright,
now lost in clouds,
drifting out of sight.

A glance, a turn, a fleeting chase,
I search the corners, I scan the space.
It danced on the tip of my eager mind,
now a whisper, elusive,
and unconfined.

Was it a word, a thing, a dream
or a thread of a half-formed theme?
Time ticks on, relentless and still,
as I shuffle through remnants,
against my will.

Where did it go, this moment, this spark?
Did it slip through the cracks
and into the dark?

I pause, I breathe, I let out a sigh,
in the chaos of life, as my thoughts fly
out the window or through the door,
leaving me stumped
and pondering once more.

©️Lizzie Bevis

I love being 22.
I found myself between the deepest of shadows and the brightest of days.
The smell of jasmine as I float through you like a breeze,
Entranced by my elusive and ever waiting presence.
I love being 22.
The taste of salt between my teeth, the feeling of tears stinging my face,
22 to be exact.

the last of my breddahs i’m just following suit
at the end of the day i’m still that same ol’ yute
twenty one now, i hope you get there too
cuz if you ain’t here, i know you’ll get here soon

and perspective is mad cuz i was once you
an ambitious little boy with some radical views
cravin’ for a chance to receive and shoot
like Laca in the box, cuz i would take that too

but what i would do
just might not be true
to what you would do
but if i asked myself now what would i do
then i’d get the same answer like two plus two
cuz i still got my views

and let’s be honest
i ain’t really changed much
at least i think i haven’t cuz i really ain’t exchanged much
different ideologies and people ain’t been sayin' much
other than this same old same old for these same months

cuz kamala this and donald trump that
is no different to me than what ’16 had
the same old story pulled out the same hat
but we don’t draw the lines to try to change that

we move
and fall into a groove
even though it’s bumpy when we're wishin' it was smooth
cuz
life is always twistin' throughout different routes
i guess that’s why we always try to stay close to our roots

cuz if we never have to travel in search of our truths
then we can say the life we lived is closest to truth
am i saying that to say i’m worse off than you?
just because i’ve strayed further than you?

i think it’s mad
and honestly i’m glad
i’ve seen so many cities that i never thought i’d have
the chance of seeing
and instances of being
surrounded by some people that i never thought would be in
my life, and i’m grateful
for what they’ve brought to my table
if my last supper was today then to all of them i’m faithful

because
too many times we see some **** go south
saying words that shouldn’t leave our mouths
words that turn into action with a  punch in the mouth
and then it’s EMS, ambulance, blackin’ out
and it’s the USA so hospital be cost amounts

of money that we ain’t got
so we divert from those actions and those nasty thoughts
cuz if the cost of death is higher than the price of life
why wouldn’t i try to see the beauty in the strife
and never let some nasty words tell me how to live my life

that's mad
cuz i’ve seen some of my people take that **** real bad
when i’m on the pitch i can’t say i’ve not had
experiences like that
where i’m contemplating whether to abandon match
or to let that pass

but still, i’m here
my body and mind are intact
and i still got these same breddahs behind my back
and this same family to watch my back

and only experience and those people contribute to my repertoire
and only form my skillset when i’m well-aware i’ve set their bar
and those who haven’t done that yet should know exactly  who they are
because they’d know they aren’t far

because i’m only 21 and i hope that i still have lots of life left to give
i hope that my people can sort out their problems like it’s flour in a sieve
i hope we continue to broaden our horizons like Sid Meyer’s Civ
and most importantly i hope we remember to take a deep breath

and live

enjoy, pree more life
find the beauty in the struggle and strife
as we continue to strive
and find ourselves as we get surprised
by the courses of life for which we must improvise

another milestone, and another celebration
offering another chance at self-recalibration
as goals yet to be achieved are still the final destination
or so we hope to fulfil imagination

so,
twenty-one years on this planet and now i'm forced to look in one direction
forced to find my style even when it’s gettin' hairy and i'm facin' deflection
forced to go forward even if there’s a wall with no intention
of breaking down because i have to break those barriers using nothing but a mirror,
my reflection

Stop all efforting to know, and think
knowing is going on well known, without me.

No childhood duty to cultured honor, do I feel.

No grain of sand among all the stars beyond us,
in the middle of any given night in the desert, we
see, am I nor any other, listening, waiting, thinking
as the we involved in using time to think with, once,

then again, aware more now than ever before, we
are not the first to formulate means for making peace

in time of constant readiness to agressively defend,
the story of us, our nation and vocabulary of knowing,

all the words in all the books, at a touch, see this
means that, gnative tongue tying truths to us,
cognative clear translation is ours, in other words,
we who comprehend the shibboleth as ours to say
right, ya'll say ain't we say do not attempt am not I
in a kind sibalence hush
of meaning seeking mode, hiding
wills to wonder curiously curia classified
rules allowing religious proof of science lying,

while earnest diligence duly done, indeed
instantly acknowledging holy truth is plausible,
as awfully awesome instances of answered aha
per haps, haps may tie it all to me through you,
ready steady friend in times
of deepest lonely me
self deluding independent thought
dominion, in old age, seven decades and above, we
become the prayers of saints, as we choose
to define refined sophia recipes,
in unsophisticated self taught grammars,
using only matter we have at hand, in truth, mere
words, liberally offered and left to show, the way
we made up this mind, this formal structural me
hold, metaphorical jug of ra' towb experience, I
- while sorting idle words from active verbs
imagine, any willing to read a line, ready
to make another think it through, to this end

that we may be in one mind, or of one mind,
preposed to say we agree with exceptionalists,

as by virtue of becoming a breathing word user,
each becomes a knower of how peace is made,

when none has been, in the mind of a long generation,
Prince of Peace, perceive the irony, toes rusting
stuck in the mud we expected… as we see on TV,

the murderous wille zur erste, none recall who won…
now that the long sought, even desperately prayed for,
Northwest Passage by Sea is open, year-round,

and now no fish contain no plastic, tic, tic, tic
and now the shallow seas once teeming with creation,

cover Florida, up to Lake Okefanchokee with detritus.