Therapy Session,
To release the misconception.
Turn the depression into a lesson into a message.
The stem of the universe trapped in a mind,
Questioning existentiality like a child learning to ride a bike.
The root of the issue seems to be external,
But the issue is no more than the perception of a mortal.
We see, we think, we do,
We misunderstand, we think, we choose.
The clouded screen that obstructs our vision,
Is in reality what makes our decisions.
Is the judgment what lights the spark?
Or our perception of the words thrown at us that light the gasoline?
To breath and step back and accept the truth-
No one can truly judge you, except you.
We respond on emotion
Without thinking through,
The more gentle truth that tells you that it’s really not you-
No one can truly judge you, except you.
We feel attacked, abandoned, betrayed,
Like the things people say hold some meaning that should sway,
Our views of our self,
Only bound by our self.
When they look you in the eye and tell you the lies,
Remember,
Others do not decide who you are,
Do not let them define you;

You are

Who    you    are.

The world froze..
just for a second..
but I felt time stop when I saw you pluck a dandelion and blow its petals off like it was the only thing in life left to do.

I wonder what you wished for.

The innocence you embody sent one petal you blew up in the air and with God's help, created a whole field of wild flowers.

Its called the 8th wonder of the world..

You inspire me.
You inspire me because I inspire you
and I don’t deserve that kind of love.

You want to be just like me when you grow up

But you are So full of life and So free..

She’s a dandelion.. swaying beautifully and unapologetically in the wind.

and I’m the **** attached... too wrapped up in this world to even think about what real freedom is.

So when everything stopped for a moment..

When you glanced over at me..

I felt gratitude. Because you give me freedom with every laugh.
With every hug.
With every time you say you love me.

So when you tell me you want to be like me when you grow up..

I say I just want to be a dandelion.
I want to be just like you.

We stayed lowkey
Working in silence
Perfecting our goals
Never closing our eyelids.

We were legends in the making
All about real ****.
With some of our innocence for the taken...
We laid down the blueprints.

We stayed lowkey.


-LDP

Little Choices
Make a big difference.

So choose with your heart
And let it manifest.


-LDP

I thought I was God,  
I was brought-up-by-poetry,
I'd go toe2toe,  
reach each blow4blow,
oh, & thank you, for blowing me,
I clawed up
afraid of heights
from the sights just from growing me,
yup, I fought and I shot up,
& yup I got caught
I: all for naught.,
&all that I bled.

I wasn't brought up this dead,

a sick stick em' up kid.
with a "thank you for sewing me"
a black-and-blue hue
again thank you for knowing me,
l learned each low elbow so low,
been up/down + below
  but again just so you know
the lowest of low was never<as low as

me.

I thought I was a living God,  
I was brought-up-by-poetry,
I was just an unjust fraud,
I applaud : the , "keep on just sewing me,"
I nod to go toe2toe
4 every  blow4blow, blowing, me
I clawed up
shot up, yup I got up
got caught .

Taught,
I all for naught.
Not the way I was brought up.
Yeah, man I can kick it. Yeah,
this sick stick em up kid.
Mr. Black-and-blue
how you got caught with each low elbow so low,
burned& turned:
head-is-full,
pedestal pirate,
a tyrant,  

that forgot about poetry.
beat by a trick-by-trick treat, so sweet
gets to be ******,
So,
******:
            a rich nose itch to be sneezy.
I unknowing, I queasy  
I paid the cost to get lost, and uneasy,
easygoing was easy,  
I used. To tease me,
U'used.  To disease me. I got to get going,
became afraid of heights just for growing up,

I guess, a messed,
you, know-nothing: know nothing
I know I was was better with poetry.
the half-man that I am, I only,
am' lonely,
just knowing me.
The lowest of lows
was never as low as
me.

Little girl started feeling insecure at the age of twelve, certainly it wouldn't be the last.

At first the voices didn’t get to her, but eventually, the voices got to her enveloping her into an all too familiar embrace that she wanted to escape.

At the age of 13, it was a fresh new start, it was the start of freshmen year,  little girl was actually doing okay but she couldn't help but hear the voices at the back of her head, screaming at her, comparing her to numerous other girls she saw on instagram, on runways and on the hallways, how different in size and appearance she was compared to all of them.

At the age of 14, little girl thought everything was going to change unfortunately for her, it didn’t when insecurities came crashing down onto her like how reality crashes down unto you after reading a good book, when people did not only comment how big she was but they started being more specific about their implications.

Normally, she wouldn't have taken it seriously.
Scientifically, it was normal for her to grow on those areas because, news flash, it's part of adolescence, but for her, it was just another file to add into a file cabinet, she called life. A disorganized file cabinet, she was too exhausted to organize.

14-year-old girl started wearing 2 sports bras at once, not minding how she couldn't breathe, not minding how her lungs were gasping for relaxation and to be able to be comfortable enough to grasp oxygen, but she did not care with how the way her body was begging her to give it oxygen, her body did not deserve to breathe for being such a burden in her life.

14-year-old girl also learned how to skip meals, it was the year in which she learned how to lie about her being full because it would be embarrassing enough to say that she was hungry at 6:30 am in the morning when she basically devoured everything they had for dinner, to at least fill up the gaping hole of emptiness and unsatisfaction she feels when she looks at herself in the mirror and can't a single thing to like about herself.

14-year-old girl also learned how to act, act sick so no one would question her why she threw up all the food she devoured, when in reality she grasped onto her neck, so tightly, choking herself and made her release all the chewed up food they had for dinner, unfortunately it did not release all the insecurities and coped up feelings she kept inside of her, she punished herself because her body did not deserve that satisfaction, her body did not deserve being rewarded for being such a burden in her life.

14-year-old girl told herself to not eat.  Simple.
14-year-old girl told herself that guys wouldn't like her because of her insecurities.
14-year-old girl had to swallow every tear that was made when people made fat jokes at her. That was the only thing she was good at. Swallowing, devouring, being fat. Being such a ******* burden.

Little girl was always so immersed into her body, always investing time to punish herself because she was never what the norms were.

At the age of 15 little girl gave up on caring.

15-year-old girl realized she did not need people's validation on how she should look physically.

15-year-old girl realized that her body is a temple worthy of praise and worship, not insults and comments about how it should look.

15-year-old girl understood the concept of false advertisement.  

15-year-old girl realized that she is lovable, she is worth love and she does not need any guy to show her that, that the only love she needed was love towards herself.

I know of the nights you were afraid of the moon.
You’ve told me how when you were a child you run from it because it was chasing you.
But you’ve grown to learn that being afraid of the moon is like being afraid of your own shadow.
I know of the nights that it still haunts you, though.
I know of the nights when you prefer to stay under a roof than to go outside and see the wide, night sky
Because you see, I know of the nights that you despised the moon for being too proud
Outshining the numerous stars that are giving all they got, even their life, just to catch our attention.
You said that one day she’ll come and get you.
That the tin roof above you would no longer be enough to hide you from her piercing eyes and one day she’ll finally come and get you.
That one day, she’ll outshine you too.

I remember that night when you told me you couldn’t answer my call because
You were too busy silencing the craters of the moon crashing in your room.
And I believed you.
I believed you for you always liked the darkness of your room. You always liked the clutter of your ***** laundry overflowing its basket, the crumpled papers of what you call “trash poetry”
mixing up with wrappers of chocolates and coffee powder and your ***** laundry and ---
You always liked to curl up in your tiny bed, not minding its untidiness
because you never had the strength to fix it this morning.
I always wanted to tell you that
I should be the one to say sorry for not being there for you.
I’m sorry that the only thing I could give you is a call.
I’m sorry I couldn’t even open your windows and tell you that the moon is already gone, and the sun is already shining bright and the world is waiting for you.
You, little son of the sun, should not stay in the dark.
I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of the dark.
But I wish I could tell you that you were made to outshine the moon and everything else.
You were made to turn night to day.

I have too many wishes, too many words I wish I could tell you
Like how it is not your fault
It was never your fault and never going to be your fault
That we are but a speck of dust, a mere human that destiny is not something we can overpower
Well, we might move it a little if we struggle a bit harder
But some circumstances can just happen out of nowhere.
I wish I was more talkative so I could’ve silenced the whispers
I wish my voice was enough to silence the whispers
I could’ve screamed to the top of my lungs or even higher
Just to save you from falling too deep and drowning under your covers.

But we are nothing but a moon apart, never meant for each other right from the start
Yet with this time I got I hope you’d let me stay and fight
To become stronger, to become better, not only to save myself but to save you from this dark night
For you, my mighty knight, is worth saving too.
No, you are not merely worth saving but worth loving, worth keeping, worthy of everything that this night is hiding
And you deserve that.
So with this time I got I hope you’d keep me inside your heart so you will float
And I could dive under your covers to save you
Or I could climb to your roof to cover you
Keep the craters of the moon from hitting you.
And not let the moon overshadow you until you learn to put her brightness to shame.