11:59 pm
It is strange
how time can tick in such a way that brings forth a new
day
In seconds
the heartbreak
ill-fated
remains of yester
cease to exist
As time passes forward
to a page free of disappointment
Nothing has gone wrong
An hour where nothing can go wrong
An hour of emptiness
and fullness all at once
Nothing to gain
Nothing to lose
Where time is slow and languid
Because there is nothing,
nothing that can make this moment
Wrong

12:00 am
New

Oh how I dread these sleepless nights
Where my own mind is drunk on its thoughts that prey on my existence.

Thoughts of fear, hate, loneliness, and sorrow.

I fear my existence is too short to live the life i want and i fear my choices have been unwise and with no gain.

I hate the thoughts of hate
but hate provokes me
in ways i never knew.
I hate not knowing my future.
Not even in the slightest
and i hate that its because of my own self.

The thoughts of loneliness are by far the worst because they show my true reality of today. And for tomorrow. 

And sorrow is a lonesome thought that passes by and it scares me to think of how much I hate it.

Its sad to say how much i hate
These sleepless nights

i stayed up all night
waiting for a text from you.
sunlight knocked on my bedroom window,
but i just shut it out once again...
i refuse to let anything other than u in

you know, i could never fall asleep properly until i heard from you...
so i guess you could say i haven’t gotten much sleep these past few months.
i have been staring at my ceiling for so long,
trying to picture us together again,
that i’ve nearly forgotten what the rest of the world looks like.

i never thought the day would come where my longing for you would bring me nothing but misery,
but here i am,
staring at my ceiling,
the sunlight is starting to creep in on me...
so i guess it’s time for me to close my blinds again.

What kind of exhaustion is this?
The one that lingers under the creases of your eyes
Heavying body-cells to your bed
And yet being unable to slip into sleep.