I you start with a breath
and end you with a death
and in-between l don't know.

By that l mean
I cannot guarantee you your dream
I cannot guarantee time
I cannot guarantee your love
I cannot guarantee you your self

You see my friend, all we  
can do is to never to hope
but to live.


'

what's it like living with vitiligo?

it's a devastating nightmare that comes with constant stares and ugly looks.  what is much worse is what they say about you. i once had a partner that every time we fought he would call me awful names. he'd say i was a disgusting creature and that i should be embarrassed to be me. he would always tell me to put on my makeup with people came around, and me, rushing to go put it on so that they wouldn't stare or ask what was wrong. he would say that i'm an embarrassment to be around, that he was only with me because he felt sorry. he'd repeatedly cheat on me with much prettier girls and rub it in my face, and say i'm never going to be just as beautiful as them no matter how hard i try. in all honesty though, i would have preferred that he was like the other people. in my opinion, pretending to love somebody is much worse than being treated differently. i let him fill me up with emotional and sometimes physical pain until i finally exploded. i thought i've finally found the one that truly loved me for who i really was, with this skin condition and all. however some of it is my fault too. i wasn't completely honest in the beginning, i should've told you about my condition. now it's something i tell anyone i'm about to get close to. i wish you would've left if you weren't going to love me the way you said, and i wish i was strong enough to leave before you cause me any damage.  i stare in the mirror everyday and hate what i see. some days i'd be happier if there was a way i could peel off this skin. i haven't taught my self how love the skin i'm in, and i'm scared that if i don't start my son will turn out to be the same way his father was.

so if anyone ask, that's what it's like living with vitiligo. there's my truth. it's something i wouldn't recommend for anyone who isn't comfortable in their skin. love yourself first, fill yourself with so much love that you overfill and no matter how much people about you, your cup will never be empty.

That is what it is like
when somebody loves you
more than you love yourself.
You find you're loving them,
and in loving you trust,
both them and their judgment.

If he loves me for me,
and I love and trust him,
then I should love myself
just the way that I am.

and

I want to be the one
he is deserving of,
and I want to become
the best version of me.

and

It's not just for his sake
that I want to improve.
I'll grow and change for him,
but also for myself.

That is what it is like.

You there,
I love you.
You are so sweet,
I admire you.
You are so sharp,
I like you.
You look less cute now,
But I bet you were the cutest child.
I love talking to myself,
This was about the kid in me.