I'm a player, I'm the best.
I've played you, her and the rest.
That's what you thought.
I proved you wrong when I opened my chest.
You saw me with depth, an open heart.
You gave me yours.
It was open from the start.
A heart hurt too many times.
You told me you can't take another.
A heart held together with vines.
This was the tricky part.
The first time in my life.
I saw a future of treasure.
A glimpse of this lady, my wife.
I felt safe like I was where I needed to be.
I promised my self I'd do you no harm.
To cause you pain would be to cut off my own limb.
I've been waiting all my life to find someone worthy to commit my life to.
So I committed myself to you and you threw me away.
You told me honestly what you wanted and needed.
I gave it to you and more.
But you were after what you had before.
Cling to him with guilt.
Cling to him till you rott.
Cling to him lifelessly.
Cling to him lovelessly.
Cling to him endlessly.
Until one day it all falls apart.
You've proven untrustworthy.
You've proven betrayal.
You've proven sly words.
You've used tears to get your way.
You've promoted falses so fake.
Gemini construct you might break.
You've cheated.
Me, him and your self from happiness.

I've been writing.
I rarely ever stop.
These words are feelings that I had forgot.
Like ideas not recorded.
These poems I'll not be rewarded.

Thoughts of pain
Love and lust.
Take little comfort in me.
As I do not trust.

Myself I'm selfish.
Like you or the next.
Bleed out like this.
That will be the test.

I've gone round and round.
Felt the ups the downs.
But never guilty you've been found.

Take me a way from this.
Take me far into the abyss.
Where no mortal walks.
No demon flies.
We'll stay forever and attest the tides.

He thought about his goals all too often
Sometimes he drove right by them
He never seemed to know where he was
Except his dreams that always waited for him

Nothing mattered as long as he believed
He had faith that his desires were worthwhile
It was the life that he decided to live for himself
But he couldn’t decide if it was a foot or a mile

He finally realized accepting reality was life
Trying to impress strangers could never last
The people that he knew always felt left out
He won not by winning but by accepting his past

Ignoring his mistakes sustained him for years
Pretending to be different is easier than it seems
But he decided he measured with the wrong cup
Loving a woman was harder than chasing dreams

I want to be drugged. Not by any chemical or medicine. But, by a person. Like an addiction.
I want to be assured of them never leaving.
I want to be assured of them understanding.
I want to be assured of them never taking advantage of the fact that I would reciprocate.
I want them to believe me.
I want them to trust me.
Accept me. Still love me.
I want someone to be sad when I am gone for good. Like the kind of sad that could **** a person. That is what I want.
I want them to appreciate little things.
I want them to do stuff for me.
I want them to share everything with me. Everything.
I want them to be there when I need them.
I want to give them sweet kisses in places no one's but they've seen. I want them to argue with me. For as long as it's me they're fighting with.
I want to kiss them, hold them and cherish them.
I want them to be drunk and drugged on me.
Because somehow I end up doing the same.
I want to be selfish.
I want them to bump into me someday.
I want them to exist.
I want them to be mine.
I want them.
**- Aks, //All I Want.

i want to mix you
take a part from each
rock your genes
sculpt my own peach

a perfect fruit
a pretty pink
******* insides
my own peach kink

and then i'd taste you
your pinkish flesh
you'd fit my crave
no more, no less

I preached the name
that I made vain.
I lived against
what I spoke for.
Now every choice
leaves a biased blame
that questions my core.

How can I live
to know I was fake?
How can I speak
when I know it's too late?
I tended my thoughts
with my own escape,
and looked as the light
darkened in my dismay.

I loose my grip
to the hope i created.
It's a lost feeling
when I know it was
anticipated.

So in this state of knowing
I'm just a failure,
I need to accept
I need a savior.
Just too many times
I became my own
traitor.

Lord please,

lead my choices
to purify my stains.
So I won't just live
to walk in vain.

Forgive me world,
for my selfishness.
Forgive me Lord,
please direct my
selflessness.

All my hope is gone,
Demolished, obliterated, corrupted
Its not my fault, but your's
Its not my flaws or negativity
But your carelessness and selfishness
Because I,
No,
You made a mistake
I am stained and broken
I will take my anger out on everyone
I will make them cry
I will hear them scream
I will watch them corrupt themselves,
As did I.

I am justified.

My love is destructive, vile ,and bitter to the taste
It will drag you in and under.
It's sporadic and vicious, a damaging fate
Run, before I need you most.
My love is jealous, selfish, an unforgiving gate
It will resent all you do wrong.
It's needy and bloodthirsty, forcing your affection
To where Infatuation is all you can hope for
My love is a scary, passionate, unjustifiable thing that will break under  its own pressure
It was not nurtured, comforted, or taught to stand straight
It is an evil, inhumane, alien trait
Run, please, please, get away.

So long have I been filled with doubt,
Too afraid to let pour out.
But tonight, in the midst of the storm in my spirit,

I curse your name and all that you are.

Hollow and fake.
You're no "give" and all "take".
When you speak of your life,
I can feel my hair turning gray.
I despise what you are.
I loathe what you say.
But what disgusts me the most is what you do everyday.

Liar. Sham.
You were all along.
You'd cut your own arm off before admitting you're wrong.
Prideful. Ungrateful.
You reek of greed.
Unable to distinguish what you want from what you need.

Selfish. Vain.
Quick to point a finger.
But when you are selfish,
You're the last one to linger.

Continue your fascade. Maintain the charade.

Karma's almost here and you're in the way.