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Stefi Yu Jun 2016
(A reply to Stanford **** victim's letter)

I have never been sure of anything in my life until I came across your letter. It was one of those moments where I needed to find a safety net, as I am completely falling apart and my self-esteem, sinking hard like the Titanic. For the longest time I have been a warrior - fighting self-made battles that I ironically lose everytime.

It wasn't easy, good God, it never was, at the slightest- easy. Trapped inside a hollow body with nothing but hate did it for me. I recall countless times of drowning myself with worry that I can never be good enough. Not good enough, pretty enough, intelligent enough, worthy enough. Enough. I was never equal to that word. I wish I was almost enough, but reality bites and it bites hard so I'm always left with nasty and painful bite marks. My tears and sobs are now lullabies to my ears as it helps me put myself to sleep. It wasn't always like this though, I've had my share of sunshine but in the end, and like most things, my happiness reaches its finish line way quicker that I would've wanted.

My life is a daily routine I no longer want to be a part of. Even if I no longer want this - something is telling me I shouldn't quit. For ****'s sake, I'm a warrior, it would be a disgrace to quit. So I held on. For how long? I don't remember, but I did and I still am. The day I read your letter started out like most days - empty. I thought it was going to be another one of those **** related articles, but I was wrong. And I've never been so happy that I was wrong. Each word you wrote were like swords cutting through the chains I made for myself. It was freeing to read about something so tragic yet peaceful at the same time. It was as if your letter was a *** of gold found at hell. It was the rose among all the thorns. A treat amidst all the nasty. As I finished reading I realized something: you are right, I am a boat. A boat you guided with your light. Thank you for shining. It doesn't matter how bright your light was as long as it shone, and found me. In turn, I will one day be a lighthouse, guiding boats toward a safer shore.
Madhurima Jun 2016
It started with a goodbye.
It started with me wrapping up my past
in bubblewrap, as if it was fragile.
It was really so that its sharp edges would be
unable to hurt me anymore.
I decided it was better to leave it inside
my bedside table, next to the pictures and the letters.
Not to pack it in a suitcase
and bring it with me on my many travels.
But it refused to leave my side,
it followed me, like a paper plane
guided by my insecurities.
Like I was a holding up a neon sign that read
STILL HOLDING ON.
Perhaps it was a sign that I was to carry it with me
to all the places I hadn't been but longed to see.
People asked me about the big monster
that hunkered down beside me.
But how could I tell them that
I was caught up in something
I'd promised to leave behind?
How it has consumed my mind
my body, my very soul.
How it threatened to rip a hole
in the very future I was trying to protect.
Maybe I'm exaggerating
Maybe the time I spent hating every part of me
wasn't very long at all.
But it felt like an eternity
the summer, winter and fall.
Finally, spring arrived
With hopeful eyes and a big bright smile.
I shook myself awake from what was
starting to feel like a neverending nightmare,
A rabbit hole that wasn't taking me to Wonderland
I started to understand that I couldn't go on like this.
I took a hit or miss dive into the future,
And like a magician, unlocked the weights at my ankles.
Once at the shore, I looked at my past as it drowned
unwanted and forgotten,
And I realised I was no more a crinkled mess.
With wrinkled fingertips at the end of my hand,
I held up a mirror to my freshly washed face.
I smiled, digging my toes into the sand.
It ended with a hello.
it's more of a ramble, really. I hope you enjoy. Depression is tough, but you are tougher. **
sophie May 2016
this is my body
and it is a grandiose palace
with crumbling architecture.

this is my body
and i do not live in it yet
but i am moving in.
Ronney May 2016
When you let the mind debate

The things you distaste

About yourself, what a waste

Foolish to take the bait

Failing to contemplate

The fact were letting self hate dictate

Our lives, sealing fate

~~~~~
Self hating is when you seek out the flaws but fail to see "self beauty" (yes I may have made that up but it should be a thing - stay humble though ;) lol )  

Challenge for everyone- seek the best in yourselves (what you love about your self)
simo May 2016
ive learned that the man in the moon
might be a bit tired of hearing my complaints
and the universe doesn't care about me
but it's no surprise really,
since it's got the whole **** universe to take care of

i was too busy relying on the things that bound me
it all made sense in my head
and none of it had a consequence
but superstitions only have as much power as you give them

i am learning to be the center of my own universe
and to live as loudly as possible
i think im on the right course.
my train of thought is clear and mellow
and there's no sign of derail
Lucy May 2016
Hi!
I’m pretty
Imperfect
I’m the chipped teacup
The blemishes on your face that never truly disappear
I’m the Breakup
You always remember  
You see
I’m the darkness right before a storm
On that cold, cold December
I’m the broken window during the month of March
The cold air that still creeps under your skin
Even though you’ve hugged yourself with layers of clothes
I’m the pain you feel within
I’m the gap in your teeth
The one you swear ruins your smile
And that’s why you never smile, you see
Because you swear it gives you anxiety once in awhile
I’m imperfect, you see
I’m like the earth
Damaged and full of holes, and hills that go up and down
But you see
I can change myself
I can be anything you want me to be
I can wear different clothes
I can change the style of my hair
I know I have an imperfect nose
Five thousand dollars is a small price to pay
For your definition of beauty
If only it’ll make you stay
That’s everything I hope I never say
As I steal glances of myself in mirrors
As I see all the imperfections in my face
You’ve called out every since you learned the word hate
Hi!
I’m a ****
At least that’s what you’ve heard
It makes me wonder if you have a brain in there
Or just a peanut
Because you allow other people to define me
Unfortunately for you
I’ve been raised ever since birth
That I should never apologize for being myself
And nobody can redefine my worth
You see
I refuse to hate myself
Just because you find it impossible to love yourself
I will always reach for more
Never for less
You see
We were not born to hate each other
And surely you must agree
And in case you haven’t noticed
It’s a lot less work to love
Than to hate
Because while you’re busy finding imperfections
To mock and to make fun of
I will forever love myself
Even in moments of weakness
Because your hatred will never determine my fate
Hi!
I’m human
I make countless mistakes
In this messed up thing we call life
I procrastinate on important things
And hope to someday be a wife
I want the American dream
I’m reaching for it as far as I can
Because each day I daydream
About waking up to the love of my life in a cozy home of my own
And I’m not a Monday person on a Friday
I’m happy and energetic
As if it’s my birthday
I’m forgiving and kind to those who deserve it
And I know this might sound cliche
But I’m the person you can call at 4 a.m
To talk you out of doing something you’ll regret
You see
I’m a friend to all who respect me
You see
I’m a dreamer, a sister, a student, a daughter, a cousin, and a friend
I’m even a liar
I’m a hop-er
Because I always hope for perfect endings
Even in inevitable situations
Because it’s a lot easier to hope for the best
Than to expect the worst
I’m writing this
Simply because there’s something stuck in me
That refuses to be quiet
And no, it cannot be dismissed
Hi!
I’m me
And I will never apologize for being just that
Leah Perry May 2016
I look down at my feet,
toes adorned with chipped nail varnish,
a pitiful plaster clinging to the sole,
and I grimace at the
purple marks, reddening blisters,
cicatrices of stories long forgotten.
The ***** of my feet are thin and worn,
my heels rubbed raw from
shoes I have loved and shoes I have detested,
faded scars from childhood accidents.
I have aged hating my feet,
the discoloured skin, dotted with odious callouses,
my throbbing, wrinkled soles.

They have grown with me,
from tiny clumps unrecognisable as a foetus,
to wide, long size 7s.
My toes are misshapen, twisting this way and that,
freckled with sun kisses from foreign countries.
They’ve been battered and bruised
repeatedly,
victims of my hurtling abuse and mortal neglect.
I have punished them
with verruca socks and freezing ointments,
pin ******, small shoes, razor blades, nail clippers and
not once
have I nurtured them, soaked them with praise.

These feet have walked me up mountains,
aided me in athletic championships,
withstood six inch heels on weekends,
ran me through marathons,
enduring my never-ending physical torment and though
they may buckle,
with weeping blisters and aching pains,
dry skin, broken bones and sprained ankles,
they will recover,
rebuilding the scabrous skin.
Regardless of how unstable my life may become in later years,
whether I am stranded on a deserted island,
or walking the ***** streets of the city, no room to call my own,
my feet will always,
undoubtedly, lead me to safety.
And when I am old
and withered, an exhausted heap of human life,
with my last dying breath,
I will thank my durable, reliable feet.
Luna Fides Apr 2016
if i show you
will you understand?

how i've outlined these arms
vein after vein
where sunlight runs
i see only
lines to trace

i got a barcode on my wrists

scan me for the price
of beauty

i am as expensive
as what people think of me.

do you know what it feels like
to attach your worth
to weighing scales
and waists that never
slim down?

is this why they call them
shoulder blades
to cut through
your skin
to be called
"pretty"

thigh gaps that map
the distance between your legs
to make you
matter so much
you can't stand on your own
feet.

when you walk the shoes
we wear
will you know?

the path to be
called beautiful
is full of
self-hate

and we pay for that bill.
leahanne12 Apr 2016
Shame seeps into my being so easily,
it finds a home in my stomach and mind,
it never waits for an invite or a greeting.

My whole life you have been the cause of my shame,
I lay awake thinking of the things I have said,
thinking about my every move and breath around you,
wondering if I have embarrassed myself yet again.

Yesterday I realized you are my loved one, my blood,
but I do not deserve the gut wrenching shame
that you grace upon me with your company.

Today I am shameless,
today you are no longer a threat to my confidence.

In time I will love myself,
in time you will be nowhere in sight.
I have always struggled with the feeling of embarrassment or regret, it has led me to the darkest moments of my life. These feelings are brought upon by someone always telling me I should be ashamed of myself. Today I feel free, so I wrote a poem as one does.
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