I blanket myself within torment and pain,
Refusing to peek into the ever soft light.
I tear at my flesh with a blade,
Hoping that doing so would end my fright.
I cry myself to sleep using my tears as lullabies,
Only to sleep a nightmare filled never-ending slumber.
I wake forcing my limp body out of bed,
Knowing that by nightfall the sorrow that the day would bring,
Is the only thing that I'll care to remember.

this one is for you
little soul.
this one is for you
broken heart.
this one's for the person
who cries late at night.

you're not
alone.
and it's not over
yet.

stay strong.
go on.

the blade is not
the answer.

stay strong.
move on.

tomorrow
will be
better.

Everything shatters to the floor,
the clock stops its silent clicking.
Nothing seems to have changed,
yet all has rearranged.
As my life crumbles to pieces,
the choices become scarce.
This demention, this futility of the sort,
asphixiates me, scrapes agaisnt my throat.
Escape, I need to seek one;
an easy "out of here" from this cage.
Take one pill, another one shortly follows;
The alcohol flushes it down,
And, just to make sure,
Grab the friendly blade of the knife and
pierce the snakes running down my arm.
Now, now I am free.
Free forever from the torment of this miserable life.
Nothing chains me down,
my wings are free from harm.
I don't leave this place because I want to die;
I leave because I don't want to live in this purgatory.
Pity those who stay behind,
destroying each other bit by bit.
Far worst from what I have just done.

A blade just to see if I can bleed out my love for you and though it's never worked before, it's a lesson I keep on faking.
A promise I keep on breaking.
A mistake I keep on making.
Listen closely you can hear my heart breaking too.
My soul screaming.
My life.
Begging.
One minute you're right here next to me and the next we're miles apart.
Not even faith brings you back to me anymore.
If I could leave my baggage in the lost luggage department of a far away place I'd have shipped it there already.
But I can't.
And I can't warp time.
I'm not a scientist.
I'm just a messed up concoction of scarred flesh and weary bones.
Hold me.
Before you leave me, hold me.
**** me so I'll never feel again the pain of not having you here.
If this is where you end our chapter, this is where you end my life.
I've been here before I know I can do it again.
I just don't want to.
I try to carry us forwards but you can't stop looking back.
That's not where we're going.
That's not where we're at.
And you can walk away but we'll only end up lost.
And in the process of losing ourselves we'll always find each other.
And maybe you'll replace me with some other lover.
But the way we feel about each other will always be more than we can feel for another.
And I'll never recover.
Just like I never did.
I'll never get over you and I won't ever quit.
I can't quit you, I never could.
And if I could fix all your pain, put your heart back together, I would.
But I'm trying.
God knows I'm trying.
I'm trying to live but it feels like life is just for dying.
Let me die with you.
Please.
If you walk away from me.
Please
Take my life with you.
Please.
If you can breathe without me, please.
Breathe.