I wonder what it would look like to listen to others,
Would I finally be able to see all the beautiful colors?

What would it be like to genuinely be okay,
Would I be able to smile and make everyone stay?

I wonder how easy it would be to get up every morning,
To get up and get ready instead of crying and mourning.

I wish I could feel really happy for a day or two,
That would be the greatest wish come true.

But until then I will sit and smile,
I don't want to make others worry for awhile.

Love is such a wonderful thing,
It's like the lovely afternoon spring.

But love is not something that can magically heal me,
I'm sorry, but you're love won't set me free.

I have tried so hard to learn to love who I am,
But I've begun to give up and I hardly give a ****.

I know I can't properly heal until I can love me,
But it's like I'm stuck behind a door with the wrong key.

I wish I was able to see myself like you do,
But I see myself through such a negative view.

At this stage, I have to wonder
just what the hell is going on.
Climbing, searching, reaching
takes everything I’ve got,
and I need to know how much longer
my stamina will hold.

I want someone to walk beside me,
talk to me about the journey,
hold my hand and lead me when
I fall behind, don’t want to go on.

Outside, I guess it seems I’m strong,
but on the inside of me is nothing
but vapor, mist, cotton candy.
It’s as though I’m in a play about a facade
about a sham about a farce about myself.

Everything is a set, a scene,
an unsolvable puzzle, and I’m the missing piece.
Do I like what I have become …
illusion – falsehood – shell?

I think not.

Beyond mountains and valleys
Within broken terrain,
Forests and green alleys.

There is a home,
Estranged yet luscious.
With the freedom to roam.

Birds soar above,
Creatures nest below.
A peculiar love.

Feel the call
In the gentle breeze.
Softly I fall

To the kind Earth.
'Where have you been?'
Said in sweet mirth.

I was searching,
Above and below,
And found nothing.

Here, you belong.
Since the beginning,
This was your song.

Your humble abode
Is always here.
It has ceased to erode.

So easily you were able to leave me,
You come back and think I'll set you free!?

I thought we would be sisters forever,
But it's clear you don't want to live together.

You told me that you love me and you'll stay,
But you turn around and tried to run away.