I'm just sitting her questioning my entire life,
Kinda wondering why I don't use the knife.

This life makes me wonder what's worth living,
This life makes me question what's worth forgiving.

Healing is a long process, but it doesn't help when I'm still sad,
I wish I could be different and just appreciate all I had.

If I could change one thing in the past, what would it be?
Would I finally be able to come to terms with being me?

These are my late night thoughts I can't escape,
But no matter what I can't change their shape.

Lost in the empty crowd,
Searching for your eyes,
Questing for sweet recognition,
A face to call home.

Once there was a girl going through a hell of a storm,
She sat in the rain trying her best to keep warm.

She was so great at acting like she was perfectly okay,
She could smile so brightly and you'd never know someone went away.

Smiling was her best way to fake, while scratching was her only way to cope,
She tried to grab onto the ladder but it fell quickly, as it did so did her hope.

It's a funny little poem I've written, because in case you didn't see,
This girl lying through the smiles is actually just me.

Life hasn't been easy lately, we are trying our best.
But we’re just depressed.
There is no cure for sadness, if we just try to be happy,
It leads to madness.
Trying our best everyday,
Even if it feels like there's no way.
We are the ones to carry the legacy,
But we’re filled with jealousy.
We see others walking around so happily,
They seem like the perfect family.
If only we could be okay,
But the trauma will stay.
We hear the beautiful sound,
But it can’t seem to be found.
We walk empty through life,
Trying to say away from the knife.

It's so hard to fall into the trap of the negative mind,
It takes so much more effort to just be kind.

But as long as you hide behind your smile,
No one will see how you just walked a mile.

But just know that even when you feel down and alone,
There will always be at least one person you can call you're home.

Let that person in and never have doubts,
Because they are there to stay, you have the same routes.

I wonder what it would look like to listen to others,
Would I finally be able to see all the beautiful colors?

What would it be like to genuinely be okay,
Would I be able to smile and make everyone stay?

I wonder how easy it would be to get up every morning,
To get up and get ready instead of crying and mourning.

I wish I could feel really happy for a day or two,
That would be the greatest wish come true.

But until then I will sit and smile,
I don't want to make others worry for awhile.

Love is such a wonderful thing,
It's like the lovely afternoon spring.

But love is not something that can magically heal me,
I'm sorry, but you're love won't set me free.

I have tried so hard to learn to love who I am,
But I've begun to give up and I hardly give a ****.

I know I can't properly heal until I can love me,
But it's like I'm stuck behind a door with the wrong key.

I wish I was able to see myself like you do,
But I see myself through such a negative view.