Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I said this once
and I'll say it again
we don't need anymore
Pomegranates

Its red body is evil
its sent, tempting
it comes from the devil
which makes it awful

Maybe I'm just ignorant
Maybe it is really good
Perhaps I'll have a taste
and become amazed

I've wasted so much time
hating on something
Not worth the dime
but today I'll change my ways
and have my old self
Become amazed

Pomegranates, you are oh so
Sublime.
Created by me on December 30th, 2019
Honestly, I forgot about writing this poem lol. NO NO NO NO! NO MORE POMEGRANATES!
I need to write something funny
or else I'm going to get murdered
by a really fat bunny
This may seem like a joke
but please, it isn't funny
my life is on the line here
and I'll say anything
to get out of here.

In its cute tiny hands is a knife
and on its thigh is a tattoo
A tattoo of someone's wife
I can't really explain anything more
but she's definitely
A major eyesore
Not as bad as this fat bunny
who belongs in Mordor.

I don't think the fat bunny is laughing
and he's getting ready
to start stabbing
I can't believe
this is
happening.

Oh no, I'm dead
Well this isn't cool
That bunny was a total butthead.
Created by me on December 29th, 2019
I belive this is the last funny poem I've wrote. really good though, I should go back to writing these whacky poems.
My mind has been wondering about in a deserted state
which is something that I absolutely hate
I wish I was different, I wish I was better
I guess its fate that left me feeling bitter
Why is it me who has to live this kind of life?
a day later and I'm a whole new man
I have your wife to thank, she made me feel better.
Created by me on December 3rd, 2019
Yes, cheating is bad. don't do it kids.
Don't be silly and wrap your ***** said a hippy named Billy
who was ***** for a gypsy who was clearly into whiskey
and was ready for a ****** even after feeling ******.
Created by me on November 7th, 2019
I said this once and I'll say it again, don't ask.
Dear fellow members of the chess club
I know nothing of your life
but please
stop calling my wife.
Created by me on October 28th, 2019
Another one of my funny ones. short and sweet though, gotta love it.
There was once this little lamb who swam and swam
dumbfounded she was, as she spotted a flying telegram
"How could that be?" she muttered
confused, she opened a jar of jam.

"What is that?" said a man who was ways away from the lamb
"Oh, that is a lamb with a jar of jam," said the man next to him
confused, the man looked through his binoculars
"The lamb has hands!"
"Hands on a lamb!? preposterous!" said the philosopher
who had hooves for hands.
Created by me on October 22nd, 2019.
Another "funny" poem that doesn't really make sense, but that is the point. loved this one too, I remember feeling great about the ending lol.
"Do you remember that time when you did that thing,
that thing you did when you were king?"
"Of course I remember that thing I did when I was king,
but please, let's speak of anything but that thing."

"Ok, do you know that I know that my father knows about a king,
a king who died long ago by a slow buffalo with a nose like Pinocchio?"
"no, I didn't know that you know about your father knowing a king,
a king who died long ago by a slow buffalo with a nose like Pinocchios."
"Now you know!"
"now I know."

"How about-"
"No more, please."
"Aw, you're a cold sore like Louise."
Created by me on October 22nd, 2019.
My first "funny" poem. no, it doesn't make sense but that is the point. I really enjoyed making it, a bit too much. it was going to be a lot longer, but I scrapped it and made it shorter. good times..
Prossnip42 Mar 2020
Go there for your rota
There for your orders
Fill up the quotas
We'll bill for you quarters
Report to your foreman
But watch for construction
Cause if you get hurt you've damaged our property

Did you not read the Company policy?
That defines you as the Company's property
That waivers your say in autonomy
The conglomerates got you in lock and key
We put the dollar back into idolatry
If you're upset you can rent an apology
We're a family forged in bureaucracy
No I in "team" but there's "con" in economy

Were you expecting rights?
Were you hoping for fairness?
My friend you're indentured and pleasure's exempt from your tenure so venture back down to your slum
That's provided at generous prices
Your worth is determined by your sacrifices

A small term of service when down of the surface
Interment's a freebie that comes with the purchase

We work
To earn the right to work
To earn the right to give
Ourselves the right to buy
Ourselves the right to live
To earn the right to die
Nupur Chowdhury Sep 2018
Starry-eyed, I peeked at you through the shop window
The salesman’s toothy smile was nothing to your new-polished glow.
Your fake leather belts and stiff rubber soles
Made me dream of journeys sans mud, debris, and potholes.

The salesman whispered the ‘discounted rate’ delicately into my ears,
I glanced down at my slender wallet and blinked back my tears.
My feet slid into your gentle folds, a warrior coming home,
I was fifty short but in your embrace, the world I wished to roam.

Your beauty was unsurpassed, though the insoles did itch,
And your buckles gleamed like fairy dust, when the toe-cap pulled a stitch.
You helped me traverse wet sand heaps on under-construction roads
You stood with me on the roller-coaster of rush-hour public transport.

You were with me through the muddy puddles, of early monsoon
Caked with dirt, you stayed alert, through alleys litter-strewn.
You held me in your hard embrace on broken footpaths
Helped me slink through curfew gates not even the cat could surpass.

And I should have known, you were too good for this town
My fake leather sandals with the rubber soles of brown.
As I hung off the bottom step of the spasmodic minibus
Beneath me the buckles ripped, the outsoles gave up.

And I know that over the months, we’ve had our fights
And I’ve said more than once that you were overpriced.
Though it’s true that I think you could have done with a discount
Never let them tell you, our bond wasn’t profound.

All my neighbors know of your tales of valor
What you lacked in durability, you made up for in glamor.
So what if the heels were rickety and the insoles tickled?
The road to affordable beauty with potholes is riddled!
Jonathan Benham Jan 2018
An ardent following,
superseded by disdain
that comes like the aligned
sadism brought by you.
Feel like a failure?
Like the weapons in your brain
have finally run out of power and
that they were fabricated
from day one.
Feel like a failure?
Not yet?
You will never find a joy in
A brusque portrayal of success.
Because you have failed.
They will find out eventually.
They all will.
The trickster is not the manipulator.
You joke.
You are envious, envious of
others, how superficial!
Just like you want to be,
because you fail to elaborate
upon your own promises.
You surrender to the gift
that is moving on.
Just like anyone else!
How could someone like you fall so flat?
High functioning, or lack thereof.
You can fool the weak,
but so can any glimmer of hope.
Superimpose your lies
as you run out of time
and play the demi
in order to fornicate with
the incessant drive rather than
the polished joy that is success.
Move on.
You are a failure.
You are beginning to run out of options,
your only option is surely deceit.
Manipulators driven by the harrowing
sense that tomorrow will bring
inner motivation for another
night of fulfillment.
You, my friend,
are no different.
You resort to illusion because
you cannot create your own world.
You will die by the hands of  another.
Another just like you.
Weak and powerless in the eyes
of those who a greater
than your desire
of
being as great.
Next page