One in three women.
Have experienced violence.
The vase inside cracks.

I loved the smell of
Cookies, Valentine's day sale.
It's not February

She really wants him to be her lover but the deity decided to set a game of love where two souls were born almost at the same time but in a different place. Thus, their love story remains unknown to the both of them.

She doesn’t really know what she looks for in a man but her heart aches for someone she doesn’t even know.

He reminds her of the cherry blossoms in spring when she started falling for him. He reminds her of the rain and how it falls down just like how her tears would. He reminds her of a sad love song just like their sad love story. It’s like he’s actually there but she’s unable to touch him.

She knows she can just find another man to begin her love story with; someone she knows, verily. But the feeling won’t be the same.

She can’t seem to fathom why she loves that particular feeling of loving someone unknown even though it pains her. Indeed, she’s trapped by the love she has, only she doesn't want to break free.

How astonishing it is that an unknown man is capable of making her feel that way ― that no man she knows had made her feel.

She wants to find him and end her longingness but she doesn’t know how.

Even if she walks his street, they’ll less likely meet. It doesn’t happen easily. They’re not in the movies. She doesn’t even know who is she looking for. All she knows is that he’s there when spring comes, when the rain falls and when a sad love song starts to play.

Still, she’s uncertain if she will ever meet that man but maybe... that’s how the deity wants their game of love to be ― to remain unknown.

But no, she won’t lose to the deity’s game. She will find him and she will end the game. Their love will bloom in a different season. And he will no longer remind her of the rain and the sad love songs. He will no longer be someone unknown and they can finally begin their love story.

That, she promised.

The summer winds blew as rapidly as the rush of a river,
When my love met their demise on the darkest night of November.
Not even the greatest soldiers saw the pain coming from a million miles away,
Yet the final battle took my heart and my love as God’s early prey.
Now these days I’m left to sit and cry against the sunrise,
For each new day brings new heartache.
This house is empty and my bedside is cold.
My love is gone and I’m left without a hand to hold.
Their clothes are untouched...I’ve left each belonging in place.
Then I spend the night alone, I still picture their face.
I shall fear to ever find another lover,
My heart belongs to no other.
Here alone, I feel nothing but sorrow.
My lover is gone.
Their heart no longer beats for mine.

I’d been chasing after all the things my plain life lacks,
When somehow my fool got caught up between the tracks.
It’s much too late to call for help- The others are far ahead of me.
I don’t mind much anyways- I don’t want to be pulled free.
Instead, hit me with a train of quiet love,
And fly away from me with the grace of an early mourning dove.
My panic keeps me awake,
I know this time around, nothing here is fake.
I’ve fallen into this desperate reality,
Where I drown in the waves across your vast sea.
I find *** within a silver bullet,
Point your gun at me, lock it, and pull it.
I have never been more unprepared-
This time around, my heart is true, though scared.
Up until this moment, all I’ve ever had was my own bare flesh.
But now, I’ve got more than enough to get off my chest.
My lonely nights never end,
So I beg you- tell me what I need to hear...let’s play pretend.
You are the most beautiful one to have ever crossed my eyes,
So let’s lay here in the dark and call for a compromise.
For you, I would give it all away.
I would serve you my heart on a golden platter if I may.
Shoot me with your silver bullet,
Then take my bleeding heart and just hold it.
Fill my lungs with your sweetest perfume,
Until they fail me here in your lovely room.
I’ll write for you, melodies I will never sing,
And melt you away like the snow in the warming spring.
I will keep my words ever so personal,
Until my lonely disease has deemed me terminal.
With my final dying words,
I will lay here on these tracks-
I’ll sing you the sweetest song ever to be heard.

The taste of cold in the air is as still as your body as you sleep,
Warm enough to live, cold enough to chill, ever so sweet.
Frost covers the final leaves of Fall,
Glistening white, fueling the withdrawal.
Don’t feel as though we are nearing the end, my dear.
For by my side, I assure you have nothing to fear.
The birds flock south for the winter,
But not us, we stay behind to freeze and wither.
The heavy air holds steady silence,
Hold my hand and we’ll resist the violence.
A city of hearts is abandoned in ruin,
Only we remain here, warming this empty tomb.
I will shield your eyes from such a mournful sight,
I will remain here with you- I will be your light.
Time can stand still, but continues moving forward.
I promise we will not be silent forever, for one day we’ll be heard.
Let our voices warm the air,
Let us break the silence- It’s only fair.
We are not welcome here, but we have hearts beyond compare.

You are the soft blue lake against an autumn sky,
You are the clouds in which the highest birds fly,
You are the soft winds on a summer night,
You are the morning sunrise that fills the words with light.
Your touch is gentle and filled with care,
To receive your love, I could only dare.
I am the parasite that craves your flesh,
I am the mistake- a heart’s failed test.
I mean good but I never think twice,
I use my one chance to roll the dice.
I am not what you want.
I am your taunt.
So curse my body when I sleep,
With dreams of you playing my mind on repeat.
Curse me when I sleep,
For my soul is only yours to keep.
To shatter- or to break, broken or tattered.
Or to fill- with warmth and thrill.
I alone give myself to you,
But I don’t have much to give- for that much is true.
Your lovely mind has already been damaged,
And dear, I fear that I do not hold your bandage.
So instead I’ll unwrap my own,
I’ll dress your wounds and limp back home.
Here I lay myself to bed,
A mess, a monster, a lonely dread.
So curse my body when I sleep,
The blood I’ll bleed for you, my heart- Yours to keep.