I'm sorry, that I can't relate to picture perfect or the happily ever afters in fairy tales. I'm sorry that I always get stains on my brand new white shirts, and when I color I can never quite seem to stay within the lines. I'm sorry whenever I hear the word magic, it reminds me of my first heartbreak. Because magic is just a series of illusions, and anything I've ever loved has turned out to be one big magic show. So forgive me when your innocent lips spill the words, "I love you", and all I see is a rabbit being pulled out of a hat to stimulate my heart beats to quicken as if to simulate the applause of a crowd. And when I say I will break you I do not mean you are an un-boiled egg in the jaws of a lion, no. I mean you are the Titanic and you are full of beauty, potential, and confidence. And as you glide along my icy hearts surface you will eventually hit an iceberg that will tear you apart. Leaving you with nothing but splinters of who you once were. I'm the darkness that lingers in your light. I'm the shadow that's constantly there but only occasionally seen. I'm evil, but I don't want to be. I don't want to be what I am but I can't change. I love you. And it is because I love you that I want you to take a magnifying glass to the windows of my soul. I want you to see the tainted parts of who I am and come to hate it, hate me. To watch you put out the torch you carried for me and light a new one for someone else will sting more than 1,000 cuts from a red hot blade. But in this agony I will find peace because, true love is about protecting that person. And in this case my dear harmless dove. I must protect you, from myself.

Because you assumed.
That I was willing to give.
That I was able to give.
That I had anything to give.

Because you made the choice,
of self-sacrifice for me.
I am upset because
you didn't even think

to ask first.

Papa
The one who held on to us
In times good and rough
Placed all our needs on his shoulders
Made us into tough little soldiers

Papa
Never tired is he
Nor sleep does prevail him
Kills all his days to make ours bright
Our eternal light

Papa
The epitome of love
A blessing from above
Leaves behind all his desires for ours
His sacrifices can't be told in mere words

Papa
Someday I will be like you
Loving everyone true
Binding through trust and care
A family we will all bear

How could your heart ever long

for anything but a love beyond the archetype?

love me, and you will forget the opposition

between want and need.

razor cutting flesh

while you go on searching for words to make it less mythical,

a ritualistic dance between aversion and marvel,

with love left to bleed out like a helpless deer.

there is music, songs of

sin and sacrifice

the great city burned to ashes,

by flames of pleasure that wreck deliberately.

We sit in the ruins

of what once used to be a ground of worship,

merely human,

with nowhere to come home.