I've been wanting to set sail for a while,
but now the intensity almost frightens me.
I can feel my body breaking
under the weight of this desire.

I want to give in –
to set sail toward you,
forgetting every shore I've ever known,
taking the risk, trusting the tide.

I thought I had this in my hands,
But I cannot command
nor the wind, nor the raging sea.
I know that now, as I set sail.

To take or not to take
To change or forever be?
Never know til you take a step,
Trying better than regret.

The open window lay,
A calling to be heard,
The heart drumming to a beat,
It aches to learn.

Fear comes creeping in,
You halt and dare not sin.
You live the same,
day in and out.

Trap inside the same routine,
Too much doubt and insecurities.
You put a limit, on ability.
Believe my friend and you will see.

We need not great strength,
Wisdom or wealth.
Just a piece of courage,
Belief and help.

A leap of faith,
To trust our God
In this journey we take,
He holds us up.

He takes our hand,
And guides our hearts,
Harsh may He teach,
Like a father to his son.

He loves us so,
We need not fear,
For the journey ahead
Tis already clear,

He gave us His son,JESUS CHRIST.
Through Him there is the way,
The truth and the life.
So believe dear friends and do not die.

Though the world feels too small
but my wings still can't fathom all
The northern air sways right
but my body refuses
to lift my soul.
Shall I leave my fate
to the wind beneath
or take the plunge
in the ocean's fall.

Roar...
Wild, uninhibited: free.
Living authentically me.
Ready for more?

Moving beyond fight, fleeing and freeze,
To green pastures,
Living beyond disasters,
In peace, free to feel the gentle breeze.

Risk...
Pulses surge,
New thoughts emerge — 
There are no boxes to tick.

Reward...
Works expanded,
Creativity flows,
Freely as the wind blows,
I move, no longer stranded.

Just freedom to be,
Imperfect, in deficit,
Out of control: incomplete.
Opening up to unforeseen possibilities.

I should have left.
That first moment,
when my heart convulsed.

But i was stubborn,
I didn’t.
I stayed.
I had to know.
I had to risk it.

The body knows,
before the mind does.

Some truths whisper first,
shatter later.

If you don't know where the trail will go
Why be tempted to find out
Stick to what you know you know
Don't listen to your doubts

We don't know how the debate will end
So why start the discussion
Stick to trusted monologues
Don't risk their deconstruction

You're safe with the true tried and tested
With the solace of the known
So why be so curious
Stay here in our comfort zone.

Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.
Even me.

My friends think I’m funny
but not smart,
not sharp.

I got a certificate to belay while rock climbing
just so I could be like my friends,
but Ryan wouldn’t let me belay him.

Claire thinks I’m not good enough
to teach others how to climb.

Mira told me,
“you’re the last person I thought would know the answer,”
while we were studying for a final.

I felt unsteady afterward,
like I was winded.

My mood sank fast.
There was a pressure in my abdomen -
like I had to take a ****
but I was holding it in.

And on the same note,
I wanted to run
away,
out of sight,
so I could **** in peace.

But instead,
I laughed it off
and smoked cigarettes on the porch
when I got home
because I’m too stupid
to read the label.

I am convinced by my own actions, too
although I can’t decide
if it’s my forgetful brain
or just my personality:
aloof,
head in the clouds.

I remember walking through the halls of high school,
friends passing by, trying to get my attention
but I was staring at the ceiling again,
at the scattered marks, how they had no pattern,
and how that somehow made me uncomfortable.

Either way,
the stupidity sticks.