They will not know when im gone, if they call or text and I dont reply they would simply think im busy, not dead. "No, he would never do that, he is such a happy man." No im not! I am not happy, I am capable to inflict such horror upon myself. They would drop to there knees and gasp as they saw my body. Maybe I didnt do it myself, maybe others did it to me. But the impact is all the same. Why does it take a death or a loss to awaken ones eyes. To truly see the beauty of ones soul, as it passes gentle and free through the room and out to the unknown. As judgmental eyes gaze upon the dead, speaking only of a waste of life this is, gone too soon, (tear after tear shed) BLAH BLAH BLAH! Enough! If you had any common sense you would know to cherish the life that stands before you. yes, iv made mistakes along the way but never anything like that! To cheat on you? With filth like that? Its a crime just to mutter the words! How dare you.
But. Nevertheless, what is done is done, if I go mad in the few short weeks, they would never know. Would you be at the crime scene? Or the funeral?

Every last hymn a damning sentence
Those moments before the goodbyes
When all is aired and all is said
Brute honesty and pure rancor
Those moments before the goodbyes
When the gloss of love, that sweet deceitful shiny sugary layer
Melts, gives way to the green mold beneath
Make no effort to hide your hemlock juice
In that moment before the last goodbye
No mystery is left, just a naked stab
Impunity unrestrained, yes, we let each other have at it
My truth versus yours
My memory kills yours
But if i survive, the victory is pointless
Because you'll never admit to the times
When you colored beyond your designated lines
And trespassed your paints into my veins
And made yourself a home in my pains
In that last moment before our last goodbye
I promise, this time, you will acquiesce
Or i shall keep you alive, ever in blissful torment
And keep you wondering what drives my love
Is it pure and whole, or an emaciated soul
Patiently planning your last painful goodbye

That one mistake
Cannot be easily forgotten
It trapped me
In the misery of regret
Making me unleash,
something buried deep within

Confused on who is to blame
Is it I?
who did nothing
to prevent things from occurring
Or you?
Who led me
Into the midst of darkness

Get ready and brace yourselves
Because the beast
has woken up from its lair
Ready to swallow its prey
Stronger, quicker and hungrier than *ever

cheers
i took off, i'm a spring
push me down, let me go
and i'll rise higher than you know

cheers
i'm going places you never knew existed
unlit roads i told you i was afraid of?
they're more familiar than your fingertips

cheers
i'm above these stormy clouds,
crawling in space, having hard times
but safe from hurricanes

for sweet revenge.

In this cracked bower of dusted morn,
Under crinkled leaves of cankered scorn,
Thine promise hath ruptured in purulent bliss;
Innards devoured with one poisoned kiss!
In death’s cruel grasp, spring bid adieu,
Such an ill-fate bestowed upon thee so soon!
Writhing in the pain from this soiled vow,
Revenge is waiting, won’t thy surrender now?

You promised me paradise,
And gifted me hell .
I thought you were an angel..
But you proved to be the devil himself.
You poisoned my mind,
You cursed me with words,
Which used to cut like knife.

You abused me night after night,
You left me broken and tattered,
Begging and praying for someone to save my life.
You thought that these wounds won't heal?
You thought that this pain was enough to ****?
Well you were wrong.

You broke my heart.
You crushed my pride.
But look at me, I continue to survive,
You hurt my body,
You destroyed my life.
But I still stand on my feet,
Like a warrior about to strike.

Poked in the eye with pointed words,
stabbed in the heart with sharp words,
it hurt.
I know.
I see the injury.
I feel the pain.
I drink a tall, warm glass of
your tears.