One day you will know.
One day you might understand.

Any averageness you ache for, you will not find here.
No organization, nor solidity.
I am a whirlwin of inconsistency.

My thoughts are never ending.
My body is never resting.

These feet will never settle on solid ground.
This soil will always forbid it.
Like sinking sand, it embodies me if I give in to its suddle ease.

I'll run my race.
This never ending pursuit of wholeness.

You can't keep up.
Your desire is what keeps this earth above your eyes, where every other living soul chooses to reside.

Breath it in
Sharp and crisp
A small smell of that
No more than a wisp

Eyes snap wide open
A ticking nearby
A loud breathing here
A sleeping sigh

Feel the cold
The window so clear
The night sky you can see
The dark you can't hear

Listen for crickets
Chirping outside
They have no blanket
In which they can hide

Eyes so wide open
Laying in bed
Under a blanket
A restless head

Thinking on things
During day you thought not
Thinking for answers
Never getting what you sought

One in the morning
Eyes still to wide
Dreams ran away
Found places to hide

You see it all
Hear every sound
When no waking mind
In near to be found

You yawn once more
Still not asleep
Everyone else in the house
Yet to make a peep

The night will go one
Weather you sleep or not
They kept you awake
Each dammed thought

The sun starts to rise
Sleep never came
They insist to keep you tired
To your thoughts its a game.

dark eyes rimmed red
cigarette burns on his sleeve
the smell of the city lingering in his hair
he drops his jacket to the floor
& falls asleep cradling a bottle of whiskey

I’ve never been so alone since last October
When you thought six feet under  was better than being with me
It’s never been so hard trying to stay sober
But what is reality when you’re all I can see?

Darling, we had the world but you chose to get swallowed
And left me up here with the an unbearable curse
I’m followed by the remains of your lost shadow
It never lets me forget how much I can hurt

In the middle of every night, I feel your weight beside me
Drooping down the bed and creaking the wooden floors
But when I turn to look, the room is but empty
And I know your ghost is waiting by the door

Your memory is haunting and I have been restless
The feeling of your presence is still alive
And although I can’t see you, I know they exist
Your ghost will be the last thing I feel tonight

anger chokes me
it festers in my throat
& burns my tongue

to believe the thoughts that
     consume my mind late at night

to believe the confusion
     in my mind

or to simply be? is a constant
     question of mine.