I heard a voice
call out:

Are you home?

(perhaps it came
from within)

A stranger's voice
that's called
before.

I am
insular.

I am Home!

Inside

This temple of dissipation.

Dark clouds stole the sun,
Wind is on rescue mission ;
Sun in remission!

I had coffee at my lips
And good intentions with you

You had passion as fingertips
And a slow withering heart

I'm falling in love with you
Life is setting the punchline

The quakes on sea beds roar out my name,
My head bow in the crowd in shame,
Insatiable hunger for fortune and fame,
Now desperate desires impossible to tame.

The universe is torn in two before ny eyes,
Imagination and thoughts all filled with lies,
Trusted friends becoming enemies in disguise,
Once a loving heart now becomes cold as ice;

Lord please forgive me cause satan lied,
Send down your angels let them be my guide,
Either heaven or hell has been difficult to decide,
Running around in shame but nowhere to hide;

My deepest confessions is honesty displayed,
I accept the freedom for which you paid,
Bleed upon my dying soul just as you said,
And i will become a child whose life's remade.

I'm haunted by these demons within.
Unable to let light in.
I'm desperate for an end to this pain.
As I hit rock bottom once again.

I am searching for a sign.
Something to tell me I will be fine.
I need a distraction or a way to cope.
Before I give up all hope.

So I surrender.
I'm giving up.
I need a little help
To pick myself back up.
I cant do this alone,
Please let light be shown.
I surrender...

I've done things I'm not proud of.
And I just can't seem to rise above.
I turned away from truth.
I realized I'm not bulletproof.

Scars remind me of mistakes made.
Lonely nights drawing with a blade.
Things people said that cut deep.
Stressful nights without sleep.

So I surrender.
I'm giving up.
I need a little help
To pick myself back up.
I cant do this alone,
Please let light be shown.
I surrender...

I've felt the pain, I've held it in my hands.
I've wished it all away, I've prayed for life and death.
I've caressed the bruising, the bleeding, the burning inside.
Sometimes I wish for dying, other I'd give anything to feel alive.  
Breathing in becomes a chore, is there something wrong with not wanting to be in pain anymore?
Leukiemia. You are the monster under my bed. You're the evil voices that echo in my head. You're the scraped knee that just won't heal, the love I cannot feel.
You've torn me down. You've made me question my faith. But there's something you didn't know, you've also made me better. You've made me stronger. To feel the pain of a human being is a ******* honor! You try to destroy me, inside and out, one strike, two strike, I'm out. What you don't know leukemia, is I have no plans to let you win, you entered my body when I didn't want to let you in, but I'll fight until you're out, every day if I must. Remission isn't an option. It's a must.


Riah

The fragility of the heart is the closest certainty I know
I used to think a broken heart was a hyperbola
give a description of your remission  
the loudest sound of all love unspoken
yet we always hear the sound of love broken
and if  you repair something broken
it is never the same even if the flaws are never seen
the more it breaks the harder it will be to pawn off as being in  perfect condition
if you sew up an incision you will most likely see a scar

This ride I'm on
Leads to the dump.
I, refuse that I am,
Refuse to jump.
I ride with
Peels of poor me,
Rinds of regret,
Scraps of resentment,
Empty bottles
Of pain
And emptiness.
I, Drunk.
I drank
For forgetfulness,
In misery and anger.
Refusing questions,
Not giving answers.
I don't need
To hitch a ride
To the human dump,
The soppy landfill.
At any stop
I can jump.
Jump,
And walk.