What does it mean to remember?
And what does remembering mean
The days as they pass are fleeting
And some things grow gentler unseen

Walls enclose so many things,
and often have no doors,
a mind can have so many rooms,
without obeying spatial laws.

Dark or light the varied rooms,
where thoughts can play at games,
to fill mansions of many floors,
and tenants have unforgotten names.

Nights where faces come and go,
all marching from distant past,
but all were gone so long ago,
from the first face to the last.

Time that ebbs at varied pace,
as memory plays out the parade,
recalling all the ones once lost,
and those who never stayed.

Universe of lonely empty feeling,
all that memory has now become,
No sense of being yet still alive,
just a chill that leaves you numb.

A heart that once yearned for love,
of the promise that it can bring,
but yearnings perished long ago,
to become this sad and lonely thing.

Lift. Lofty wish to see,
good smoke.
Man, this is really going out on a limb, fruit flies
wise, look at us how nothing we are,
if you happened,
if you occurred on earth,
where mountains stand wind watch,
and catch fat clouds in old frozen winter passed.

Passing fantacy, as children, fit story's told
to rain and wind and fire, older now than we imagine,
but… yes, that is so, we make nothing we imagine,

we create by recreational efforting, you may imagine
a pleasant interchange, exchanging
as we exude true wonder, worth the effort, looking
farther than our minds can hold as mine, we own this.

As soon as owning taps the child's will to claim more,
than the knowing - awe state,
and the knowing of the cost, to first willingness,
and the doing,
the climb, each upward efforting will, paid, in full.

I think about us sometimes.
But we don't get to me
like we used to.

Don't get me wrong—
I still feel the same as I did before.
But all those feelings are
distant now.
They're fading.

Whenever I try to remember us,
all the good and the bad
blend in my mind.

The individual memories can't be separated
because they're so far away from their inception.

I don't know you.
I barely know myself
anymore.

Finally
remembering
how
to
forget.

We were drunk
He choked me
We couldn't remember
I stayed

I loved
He left
I remembered
I was silent
He would've died
From the guilt

I blocked him
He's my ex
I've forgiven
Not forgotten

I remember,
But I cry
no longer.

Driving down the freeway
underneath the dark night sky.

Thinking about it all.
Tears falling from my eye.

Starring out the window
at the reflection in the mirror.

Remembering the times
when it all seemed so much
clearer.

“I will always remember you”

raise you hand if honesty
yet lives inside your muscle
memory of brain, of heart,
there is no one here who hasn’t
uttered them fool lying words

with difficulty we struggle to up
raise faces and places, moments
and images no longer mirrored
within the frontmost places of
our recollection, that searing then,
itself scorched, lichen+moss covered,
our greatest pains, pleasures sworn
allegiances to these razored inflection
points, now scoured by rusty hazes,
and we wonder what has become
of us, what we valued so to savor
as forever memories, their names
gray lady shrouded, and there is
no internet site to aid in self-recovery,
for our selfish selves have been altered,
time, new loves, guilt and other stuff
intersect with mind’s eyes and no mas-
more synapses paths instant linkages

I know you will vociferously argue but
it is almost physical, our shame at losing
them and ourselves, in the morass that
time digs daily deeper for what grieves
us is that losing as the end rushes to close
our story, makes us pick up pen and finger
scratch as best we can inside the lines on
our faces that are/had proofs, witnesses,
that once, we were there at the places,
whose names are no longer mapped any

where, so deep, no archivist’s submersible dare
fathom those fathom’s darkest we would need
to explore without the possibility that we
might implode if we sunk so far to rip apart sea
forests we knowingly, secret-planted to coverup
her memory, the words spoken, the oaths
and promises, we swore, for instance, simply
by saying, “I will always remember you”

p.s. and my self-shaming so great, that my
asking for forgiveness is buried so fast, it
may, not ever been real, just another fiction


Jul  6th, 8:36 AM,