You go on and on about how I have changed.
But then,
name someone who stays the same forever.

You go on and on about how I've disappointed you.
But then,
name someone who doesn't have a fault.

You go on and on about how I don't take friendship seriously.
But then,
name someone who doesn't know the importance of friendship.

I. AM. HUMAN.
Yes, I have changed.
Yes, I may have disappointed you. (I don't live for you and only you.)
Yes, I know the value of real friendship.
But what about you?

It's people like you, people you've loved and trusted the most, that end up doing the most damage to you.
You didn't think I would find out about you going behind my back.
You didn't think I would find out about the manipulation.
You didn't think I would find out about several things.
And you know what, I'll wield my tongue against you.
No longer will you take my silence for granted.
I will betray my philosophy of 'It's better to walk away than to fight blood and tooth in a battle where the victor is right.'

I'm sorely disappointed in you because you became your reflection, of everything you said you would never be.
Hence why in my eyes, you were never real to me.
Even if I were to confront and tell you this, I know that any
apology that I get from you is meaningless.
You aren't genuinely sorry, but sorry that I discovered the truth from a yellow-teethed, snot-nosed, two-faced rat that you love so dearly.

Granted, the unspoken truths and half-lies have taken care of the past. But it has dawned to me, in the present...

that it will have no future

Have you ever wrote with a wrecked pen and shed all the smudge

Have you ever played a guitar with broken strings and bled your fingers

Have you ever tried to burn the moist leaves and got eyes insanely blind

Have you ever screamed so hard and got your throat smitten

Have you ever seen something so vicious and scarred your memory

Have you ever pondered of something so bad and lost wiring in your head

Have you ever hated someone so badly and ended up loving immensely

Have you ever been favoured by ethanol and temporarily erased her for a night

Have you ever left a flock in order to find the lost one

Have you ever let her go finally realising the sweet truth



Well!!! I have done it all to the brim and then a voice spoke deep within

The darkest nights have some stars too

There are the left,scorned and abandoned flock too

If not, the darkest night will have a shiny morning too

You can't let go of what makes you sad because it once made you feel so delighted. You can't and you won't ever try to move on in the first place because you still believe that things might change and it will make you giddy all over again. But as the time goes by, as you go through the process of detaching oneself from that person which is a very disturbing phase of moving on.

You are reminded of all the delightful memories that you had with them but at the same time those memories becomes morbid to even comprehend. You are reminded as well that what you thought was making you joyous, was never the right thing. It comes as whispers from your conscious mind telling you that the memories you valued most was wrong and everything was a lie.

A somewhat alternative reality composed of cobweb of lies. Made to somewhat manipulate you into thinking that they are really interested in you. You kept insisting that there might be things that are real.

You are in denial that at some point the things you thought aren't lies. It felt dreamy and felt like it's real but you were just dreaming while your eyes are open.

Now you're aware that what you feel is the process of detaching oneself to the person who you love so dearly but didn't loved you back.

Only had I known
The true nature
Of my rugged edges
That they weren't supposed to be
So callously blunted
I wouldn't have tried so much
Wasting my time
trying to run them
Into circles where they never belonged
Into places for they never longed
Instead
I would have toiled
Sharpening them with the implied
And make them bleed with unwavering pride.