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youphoria Sep 2018
sometimes when i am in public
i get spacey
and observe everyone
and their actions

these people around me
i'm not like them
or maybe they're not like me

they seem so careless and
i seem so uptight

then i just try to relax
my shoulders
because they are all the way up to
my ears

letting this anxiety get the best of me is one of my biggest fears
Eric Babsy Sep 2018
To whom this may concern,
I wished for it!
I cried for it!
I almost died for it!
Nobody shows me love!
Not from the people I like at least.
I waited all my life.
God would give me no love.
Now I am reckless.
Where can I find her?
I am tortured by it.
Now I can not live without it.
Please someone tell me it is alright.
No one will say anything sincere.
It just plays into my childhood.
At least that is a professional point of view.
I say it is pointless!
Why talk about the past when you do not want to relive it?
I am like anybody else.
I have a fantasy and I want to live it.
I am sorry I am using “it” a lot.
I am just venting.
I have a few things wrong that makes me not go into the public.
I can not take any more.
Yes I have my eye on a few.
The intuition that they do not like me always creeps in.
I was hoping to become a writer too.
I guess there is nothing more to do.
Jack L Martin Sep 2018
These are not just words
that rhyme or fit together
in some fancy, schmancy
catchy rhythmic flow

These are my thoughts
my feelings
my inner beauty
my outer demons

typed on my kebyoard
stored on a web server
searched by web crawlers
presented to you

adieu!
Here is my soul. Can we compare notes after class?
Ken Pepiton Aug 2018
Weave we've woven a web...
What I said, what I said, what I said
we been sayin all a long

Oh the futurists mythed the inter-resting-time

This man fears population explosions, he is speaking in 1991,

I'd built my great 100 by 75 miles ten stories building resting place where ten billion story tellers could hide and watch whaat's
comin' down.
By then, decades before, in the desert twixt Vegas and L.A.
I asked this guy who actually wanted in my pants,
I sat on the window silly V double you, did he know,
I asked, no, I told him, after I had been starring at the stars for some time, this time that'ime, when I think about it,
I told that guy the whole world was waiting,
suffering,
await'n' the frontal cortex maturation of the sons 'oGod.
I said "and I'm one." Don't touch.

My private calfornia became my private arizona and neo and river chose idaho, ( no, that idaho, that was a movie-story)... not part of the rite

that was the legend of the clan, when we had electrix. That ride set an I'll-go-rythm of if/then/else switches to HIGH honor if-ic.
If.
If you can keep your head... the rest, true rest, is history.

we know a voice who swore he was there when "Been there, done that"
became an
eternal cliche of the gods.

We are participating in the future. We are thinking.

---
that hapt the same night as the discovery of the perfect-ish
four sided pyramid of charcoal brickets burning one
at at at a time
touch another to the glowing pile on the sand...
(audio)
=====
why are ficts so far from the facts in the matters that matter

re-lig-em leg-it-am-it-all, damitalkenslowdown

so re-lig me to my ide-idea, beware

We seen this coming do you? This is thirty years ago we know, this we know this we

we are in sanity, as insanity is the only way to packitin
sane sorts of things that all must touch in order
to re
main sane. You know, you know. That makes lying im-possible or null-possil-be
per se.
Word.Righton. Trooph truckah! ToA allaway Found

a calico cat of the old school sawdust variety.
if you,
if you see her, please de-if her re-onance, it's chipped.
You can keep her, if I can say such things here and not be thought an ownery old cuss,
clammering through empty lobster tails to see what the attraction may have been,

Back. Then we are not
off track or trail, etched acid canyon of silicon paved with godelsufferingold, by golly, I'd be live if I could see my way clear to walk such streets at
the speed of light
no, gravity and no, too slow,
thought.
ought... that's a thought
not... that's a thought
ought... that's a differ'nt thought, takes time...
that's a thought you could spend thinking it. You get nowhere.
now and then we find clusters of ideas in time, as if they buble from some spring in the headwaters of the mind we matter in

Der Lesenmann, bitte, kanst do lesen? O h, dear reader, take my hand, my phantom hand, the one I never lost, tell me

did you enjoy our journey, so far...

Weave a ways, weave a ways to go. If this and that cross
again
we may hear what that preach meant to say, thaat day
o'visitation, way back when.

olden time. grand mals time to meditate sign-ate de-sign-ate,

Dada do we know when we know, when we are two and the past is, too.
Papa do you know the big bang is the answer everyone found, in the olden days when you were ten?
Oh I read about that backthen, I was twelve. Weekly Reader kept my gang informed, or Me, and I told all my friends, my listeners who did not read but needed to pass the current events test.
Now, we all a passin' those ****** one time at atime

Upon my word, begin...
This sprang from a 1991 discussion about the world wide web, in which Terrence McKenna  Ruper Sheldrake began to imagine the world we live in post Y2K and  9-11 and 420 and Prop 64, where are you
The things we do
that we can’t do
in public
excites me.

Kiss
Hold hands
Embrace -

I thought
our consciousness
was supposed
to tell us
we are alive,
we are human.

But why does
it stops us
from doing things
others can?

We are different;

In public,
we are private
In private
we are public.

Who’s to blame?-

Never mind.

I love you,
And that’s all that matters.
Denise Uy Aug 2018
we're see-through,
we're the ones exposed.
it's the life we choose
and we could be opposed.
we risk being destroyed,
we could be cloudy or clear.
though it's what we enjoy
there's danger lurking near.
we could be left a mess
if it doesn't end well.
anxiety and unrest,
walking quietly through hell.
falling endlessly is real
when it's our turn to speak.
i pray and i kneel,
because with publicity,
i am weak.
This is me overthinking when someone talks to me especially when people ask for my opinion. I can talk about my opinions and even love it at times but there's always that bit of anxiety.
Aver Jul 2018
1
and so i've been wanting to do an open mic
to take that step into my fear of the public
to let others hear the voice i have inside
but will the feedback hurt?
will the reverb bore them?
will the whoosh of my breath on the mic
reflect the lack of air in my lungs
the feeling of eyes glazing over
or worse digging into my skin
will my ear drums crumble
upon the sound of my own words
should i just stay and recite to the birds
at least their mocking sounds like song
Harry Gione May 2018
I bled out
Repeatedly
Like a broken gum ball machine
tipping over every edge
leaving a mess outside of myself
For every one to see
All is out
I am empty
Living with an internal echo
I have to live with this mess on the floor
Ankle deep
Thick as mayo
Public
Billboard
Of my own thoughts
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