To whom this may concern, I wished for it! I cried for it! I almost died for it! Nobody shows me love! Not from the people I like at least. I waited all my life. God would give me no love. Now I am reckless. Where can I find her? I am tortured by it. Now I can not live without it. Please someone tell me it is alright. No one will say anything sincere. It just plays into my childhood. At least that is a professional point of view. I say it is pointless! Why talk about the past when you do not want to relive it? I am like anybody else. I have a fantasy and I want to live it. I am sorry I am using “it” a lot. I am just venting. I have a few things wrong that makes me not go into the public. I can not take any more. Yes I have my eye on a few. The intuition that they do not like me always creeps in. I was hoping to become a writer too. I guess there is nothing more to do.